Can't sleep, can't think of anything else please can someone help!

[fighter]

dazedandconfused, good you got some time to think around this. It does look like her word against your word . It is like you need to remember all the details of what happened that night so you can negate what she might be saying. Hopefully she will trip herself up. But I don't know much about this of course! hopefully you have a good solicitor and barrister to get you through this if you are charged.

As for motives, here are the following motives I saw in other threads and news:
a. revenge for being rejected
b. compensation
c. seeking attention
d. teaching the guy a lesson
e. throwing out husbands out of the house and gaining custody of kids
f. a girl can be in a relationship and the other partner found out she had sex with the accused so try to save herself and say she was raped
g. a girl feel ashamed the parents will know she had sex

you cant believe it..i read in news, a guy was accused of rape just because the girl was borrowing money for taxi and the guy didn't give her money; so she taught him a lesson.

what a weird world indeed.. as they say here if you can establish her motives it will be helpful.

[dazedandconfused10]

Hi fighter, thankyou I hope you had a good as you could christmas. I take it my word against her's is bad for me? I few of those make sense but I dont know anything about her so I dont know if she has a boyf etc that story is terrible im starting to feel these things go to court more often than not. My Job everything is on the line if it does. I dont even know if they found any DNA or brusing etc when will I hear about that? Also if im charged am I released awaiting trial or do I get kept in a cell? thankyou for your time

[fighter]

thanks yes we had a good christmas. This is our second christmas with this hanging over us. I dont know if it is bad or good though. Our case is a word against each other because it was a historic allegations; no dna; mostly statements (that came out conflicting). When you get charged the solicitor will explain things, the strengths and weakness of your case. But you know what you can do for the meantime is research on her. Maybe you will find information that can explain why she is doing it. Get to know her more.. maybe she has history of past allegations. Our accuser has done this from the past and a couple of years back and the solicitor worked towards getting information about that.

It is really scary at this point you are in because you do not know many things and you have many unanswered questions. Yes your life is on the line really but it does not mean you cannot fight it. You get to hear what they found after you get charged.

If you are not seen as a danger to the society you wont be put in a cell, thats what I read. And your barrister/solicitor will apply for bail. My partner is on bail until now, he is still working even. we try to keep our life as normal as it can be.

[dazedandconfused10]

I only have a name so will have to dig deep, I still cant believe your story if that has gone this far then there isnt much hope for me, all those yearsa ago and previous allegations by her yet you still get put through this, really makes you wonder. I think i have to just stop speculating and wait to meet the sol, they are experts in this and hopefully will start to have a look at it! New year is the last distraction then its tick tock to my first bail date, thanks again fighter I really hope you get closure on this one day!

[fighter]

yes it is unbelievable, but dont feel bad. You know every case is different and there are many factors that come at hand. For example, you might be in a better area where police do their job better, we weren't in those area. Yes stop speculating instead empower yourself. I did my research online and even used facebook and I found relevant information that were publicly posted that can help our case.
It is good to hear you got experts in your defence team. Hang in there!!!

[Boys don't cry]

Dazed and confused

Try to keep calm and concentrate.
I know it is really hard but you must remember as many details as you can that she was consenting or you reasonnably believed that she was.
What did she do or said to make you understand that she was not?
The DNA,if you believed that it was ok it should be fine.
Anyway I know what you are living as I must go to court in a few weeks time and it will be her words against mine.
I never raped her and she set me up but I live like I have just a few weeks left and even though it is always on my mind I wish I lived liked this before: CARPE DIEM.
Enjoy life,enjoy and believe that 2012 will be better.
Try to get some character references,dress smart,chin up and sometimes you will feel better.Best of luck!

[dazedandconfused10]

Try to keep calm and concentrate.
I know it is really hard but you must remember as many details as you can that she was consenting or you reasonnably believed that she was.
What did she do or said to make you understand that she was not?
The DNA,if you believed that it was ok it should be fine.
Anyway I know what you are living as I must go to court in a few weeks time and it will be her words against mine.
I never raped her and she set me up but I live like I have just a few weeks left and even though it is always on my mind I wish I lived liked this before: CARPE DIEM.
Enjoy life,enjoy and believe that 2012 will be better.
Try to get some character references,dress smart,chin up and sometimes you will feel better.Best of luck!

Thanks your post has helped me sorry I havent been on here with going back to work, I really wish you good luck I have read through your posts, I am feeling a bit better but I know this is only the beginning

[mark01942]

Regarding the "friendliness" of the police, Don't be fooled.
A certain C.I.D. officer told me, after answering bail for the umpteenth time that the case against me had been dropped and he was waiting for a phone call from the C.P.S. by teatime that very day to confirm this.

He gave me his word that he would phone me immediately with the "good news".

I opened up to him, told him I really was innocent, thanked him and shook his hand, (I think I even said that the police had treated me fairly).

Much joy and celebrations came from my friends/supporters as we waited for the call, which never came.

I went back to the police station a few hours later, desperate for the good news.

After making me wait, he took me into a private room with a colleague he named only as "Craig".

I wasn't under caution so Craig, without my permission was making a written transcript of out conversation.

The said D.C.'s mood changed completely (Jeckyl and Hyde), he then denied that the earlier conversation had ever taken place and in my opininon, as he knew my state of mind was borderline suicidal/nervous breakdown he then tried to provoke me into losing my temper so he could arrest me for "assaulting a police officer " (even verbally!)

Luckily, I twigged what was going on and calmly stood up and left (as was my right to do so).

Never , ever trust any C.I.D. under any circumstances has been my experience, no matter how sympathetic or nice they might seem.

Pessimistic news I know, But I hope it helps!

Good Luck

[Joan1978]

Hi, Just wanted to agree with Mark01942. The police told one witness that i wouldnt be called as a witness due to me been the accused partner and was to close, i was angry about this as i was the only sober one in the house when the supposed attack took place and in the room next door to where its supposidly happened with doors open!!

i got a call from the police last week telling me i was to be called as a witness and they new i was in a bad position but to get my partner to tell me the truth as he was lying to me and they had forensics and my partner new why he was been charged and they they wouldnt press charges if they didnt think theyd get a conviction!!!

i was a total mess till a friend pointed out i already new they would have forensics as it was his spare bed and had clearly slept in it as well has his jumper they had which he had worn plus they had charged him so clearly think he has done it and wanted us to probably fall apart so we turned against him in some ways!!!

Police are not the nicest of people but i suppose they have a job to do, shame they arent catching real criminals though rather than destroying innocents peoples lives!!

x

[fighter]

Hi Joan, in our case, the police told my partner not to tell me that he was accused of rape because it might not be necessary as the charges might be dropped.

But what does it mean, my partner has to lie to me? Or if ever my partner is guilty they are not protecting me are they? or the many children who walks by our house to the school nearby? We just look at the positive side that well maybe they thought it is really rubbish. But of course they charged my partner after 10 months.

My partner told me straight away when he came home. I know the girls have a history of false allegations even before this happened.

[Rights Fighter]

The police told one witness that i wouldnt be called as a witness due to me been the accused partner and was to close, i was angry about this as i was the only sober one in the house when the supposed attack took place and in the room next door to where its supposidly happened with doors open!!

i got a call from the police last week telling me i was to be called as a witness and they new i was in a bad position but to get my partner to tell me the truth as he was lying to me and they had forensics and my partner new why he was been charged and they they wouldnt press charges if they didnt think theyd get a conviction!!!
x

Whether the police call you as their witness or not is immaterial.

Make sure the defence know you wish to give evidence and send them a bullet-pointed statement with your contact details on it, so they can decide whether you can assist or not.

If defence know you can help long before the case, then they can call on you - forewarned is forearmed.

The police may well say that you are their witness but they could drop you on the first day of trial so defence cannot make use of you. If you do not alert them now that you are available and willing to give evidence then they won't be able to go through the necessary procedures to allow you to help at trial.

Make sure they are aware of you NOW.

[dazedandconfused10]

Thanks guys I am being very wary, i suppose its a long shot to hope they will see my side and see sense but you never know, everyone on here is so good to me and everyone even with there own things going on, i still feel like its a surreal dream but have spoken to a very good sol and am ready to fight if it goes that far, im a couple of weeks off my 1st bail and after billy etc im convinced im going to have to go to court to prove my innocence

[fighter]

dazedandconfused, dont give up hope yet. As they say every case is treated differently. Let us still hope for an NFA for you; but it is good at this point that you have that fighting spirit in case it turns for the worse. Hang in there. Keep yourself busy for the next two weeks and take care of yourself.