Can't sleep, can't think of anything else please can someone help!

[dazedandconfused10]

yes, don't be too friendly with the police. In my partner's case they even told him the statements of the girl is rubbish; nothing to be concerned of. One CID said if it's him he is gonna drop it. But it was never dropped. Comments such as those put hopes up and then it just made you feel angry more in the end. We also thought they believe in my partner. anyway, i really hope yours would be dropped.

Unbelieveable to say that to you and not drop it your lives mean so little to some people, I have just spoken to my sol and feel a little better now, he will get the ball rolling in the new year! Just have to go to xmas and try and forget it, I had my first nights sleep last night and have just got to stay strong like everyone else on here. I hope yours gets dropped to you how long has it been now?

[fighter]

yes! unbelievable! It made my partner feel a bit better in those early days but he was on bail for 10 months before being charged. If you are told by the police with things like that and then get charged you would be really confused and angry.

Yes, do enjoy life.. no need worrying about it; especially if it is beyond our hands. Being bailed means you cannot do anything, you cant even speak to the accuser It is easier said than done of course. But I regretted weeks of misery and my partner will be charged anyway. We lost about a year of a life worrying

[dazedandconfused10]

hi get that facebook password changed as soon as posslble
my son gave the police his log in details for facebook to prove where he was at certain times . they used it against him. they also deleted the posts that would have helped him prove where he was at time of alleged rape
if their is anything that will help you from the accuser in facebook comments or posts you need to get them copied straight away. and give them to solicitor not the police

Thanks Gem this site is so helpful and I really appreciate everyone taking time out to help me when they have there own worries to think about. I dont know her full name or anything and feel if i start trying to find who she is etc it will look bad on me like im trying to stalk her or something

[dazedandconfused10]

yes! unbelievable! It made my partner feel a bit better in those early days but he was on bail for 10 months before being charged. If you are told by the police with things like that and then get charged you would be really confused and angry.

Yes, do enjoy life.. no need worrying about it; especially if it is beyond our hands. Being bailed means you cannot do anything, you cant even speak to the accuser It is easier said than done of course. But I regretted weeks of misery and my partner will be charged anyway. We lost about a year of a life worrying

im sorry fighter I cant find your original thread on how you got here, im not very good navigating round these sites, did the accuser say she consented to anything? A year OMG this could really be the longest hangover ever!

[fighter]

yes too long. no i dont think i have posted our story quite clearly for the simple reason it makes me cry and shiver just to tell it all.. i get it out little by little.
But i somehow summarized some things in one of my post. If you click on my user name and view all my posts you will probably read some of my bits and pieces of story. :-)

So please dont worry too much, that is one of my regrets you know..worrying too much when it is not on our hands. just please go on with life as normal as you can so you wont let that accuser get more out of you.

[fighter]

the accuser was a former stepdaughter and she claimed it was done to her 14 to 17 years ago. It was all fabricated story. Mother and sister of the accuser in their statements said it never happened and they will not appear in court. The day my partner arrested the duty solicitor told him it has something to do with benefits/compensation. I dont know where he got that idea.. but why tell my partner that? i cant understand that. we also found out that the girl has accused somebody of raping her in 2008..

[dazedandconfused10]

I will read them thanks, im sorry to bring up those feelings. My girlfriend amazingly is sticking by me and supporting me so im extremely lucky and will not worry for her sake as well as mine, You sound such a strong person and the truth will hopefully win out as im sure it will, all the chin up cliches dont really give things justice but you are right im not going to let her get any more from me and will work 24/7 to fight this, Merry Christmas anyway if that isnt inappropriate

[fighter]

Thanks Gem this site is so helpful and I really appreciate everyone taking time out to help me when they have there own worries to think about. I dont know her full name or anything and feel if i start trying to find who she is etc it will look bad on me like im trying to stalk her or something

if you read through the threads, there are people who got significant information about their accuser in facebook that helped them in their case. As long as the posts are public and you didn't hack their account then I think it is okay; when we handed in some information, our solicitors check with us if it was public profile/post before accepting it. Some people call it research instead of stalking. :-) I wouldnt have looked into the facebook account of the accuser or her friends had she not brought this problem to us. You know who would waste time going through posts and walls, we definitely have much better things to do. But if it would help the case, then it is worth it.

[dazedandconfused10]

the accuser was a former stepdaughter and she claimed it was done to her 14 to 17 years ago. It was all fabricated story. Mother and sister of the accuser in their statements said it never happened and they will not appear in court. The day my partner arrested the duty solicitor told him it has something to do with benefits/compensation. I dont know where he got that idea.. but why tell my partner that? i cant understand that. we also found out that the girl has accused somebody of raping her in 2008..

some of these stories have really shown me another side to humanity, how that can go anywhere near court is really beyond me, I know there has to be protection for real victims but if i was in the jury that one statement makes me think not guilty, im sure it will be ok what ever happened to 'beyond reasonable doubt'

[fighter]

I will read them thanks, im sorry to bring up those feelings. My girlfriend amazingly is sticking by me and supporting me so im extremely lucky and will not worry for her sake as well as mine, You sound such a strong person and the truth will hopefully win out as im sure it will, all the chin up cliches dont really give things justice but you are right im not going to let her get any more from me and will work 24/7 to fight this, Merry Christmas anyway if that isnt inappropriate

yes, you are extremely lucky to have a girlfriend who supports you and stand by your side. The best you can do for your girlfriend is to be really strong (even though it is easier to be weak sometimes). Yes, this issue I think would make anybody stronger, but more also because I don't want to add another burden to my partner. I think it is a two way thing, you both had to stand strong for each other. Just be positive that your case will be dropped. On positive note, it makes both of you appreciate more the simple things in life, being able to hug each other and do things together. And Merry Christmas to you and your girlfriend too!!

[gem]

hi i aked my new solicitor about reading our accusers posts . he said the same, as long as you are not hacking into her account and the posts are all their for everybody to read you are not breaking the law. we are entitled to gather evidence and their is no harm in asking her name .she is the one doing the accusing you are allowed to fight back.as long as you don,.t break the law. question who you like as long as you don.t interfere with witnesses. we are evidence gathering for my son,s appeal i have left no stone unturned .i have turned into miss marple ......

[dazedandconfused10]

hi i aked my new solicitor about reading our accusers posts . he said the same, as long as you are not hacking into her account and the posts are all their for everybody to read you are not breaking the law. we are entitled to gather evidence and their is no harm in asking her name .she is the one doing the accusing you are allowed to fight back.as long as you don,.t break the law. question who you like as long as you don.t interfere with witnesses. we are evidence gathering for my son,s appeal i have left no stone unturned .i have turned into miss marple ......

ok good thanks I will get my sherlok holmes head on, it makes you think how anything was ever resolved before the days of facebook etc, what would we do without the internet! I really hope it works for you as I said to fighter this whole situaton and the stories I have read on here have really made me look at life in a different light

[Rights Fighter]

As the others say please ignore the apparent friendliness of the police officers involved.

I have visited too many innocent men in prison who were told by the police "this is rubbish - it won't go anywhere......"

[ZOOYORKER93]

The fight must go on

i too am going through being on bale for something i know that didnt happen.


Like yourself i think about it consistantly. my mentality is roll with the punches make good of the good times and dont take nothing for granted !!! Theres a path for all of us and sometimes we get lost or laid astry but its how we re-find our path that makes us finish walking that path even better then expected

i'v been on bale for 11 weeks and have kept beliefe that it will be over soon, keep that belief with me

[dazedandconfused10]

Had sometime to try and get me head around this, I have spoken to the sol that came to see me when i was arrested he said he felt the police felt sorry for me that she had just turned on me, but again im going to take this with a pinch of salt after what i have read on here. Im still confused how I got here, and if this is going to go to court. The one thing that keeps rolling around my head is her statement, admittiting to consenting to everything apart from the alleged act, I know if a girl says no at anytime no matter what you are doing it is rape but she never did it, it was me that stopped, how can she say she consented to everything and then suddenly said at that point I raped her? im worried that as its my word against her's and because there will probably be some kind of DNA that this is going to go all the way. Also the positon she said I raped her wasnt lying down or even her facing me, Im not a 8 foot arnie type so would be very difficult to overpower a girl in that positon and commit rape. Plus we didnt have a long full sex encounter so there can be no brusing unless she has done it to herself. What are peoples motives for doing this? again thankyou all for your advice