Please help with any advice

[mumtobe]

I'm currently 6 months pregnant with my second child (my partners first) and he is on remand for accusation of rape. He has been on remand since September and will remain there until March when he goes to trial, meaning he will miss the birth of our son and everything.

He has admitted to cheating on me wih this girl but has been falsly accused of rape. He has tried to get bail but it has been declined, even with assurity of £15,000.

I am so scared about everything. There are so many inconsistancys in the girl and her friends statements and it just doesnt add up but yet im the only person that seems to notice this. At the time this happened my partner had a broken hand and had metal wires in his finger and a pot on. He was in a lot of pain with it and he couldnt even get himself dressed/undressed, cut up his dinner or even hardly move his hand as he was in so much pain yet this girl claims that he was very violent to her and aggresivley pinned her down and everything else (dont want to go into to much detail) with one hand. It doesnt make sense? Plus the fact he was meant to be so violent as she says, there is no physical evidence!

My mind is completly all over the place and Im so worried about the trail and the fact of giving birth on my own. I know he did wrong for cheating on me but I forgave him. This year has gone from bad to worse and Im scared its going to be exactly the same next year with this situation.

Please any advice or anything will be much appriciated as I am going out of my mind

[IvorBinWronged]

Hello.

Unfortunately, your boyfriend will be inside until March unless the girl retracts her statement in full (which I doubt will happen - do not approach her or her friends).

You on the other hand have other responsibilities. Stick to them. Your baby needs you more than your boyfriend right now.

If you are still in regular contact with your boyfriend, just making sure that the communication that he gets from you is supportive and understanding. Promise to each other that if you have a rough moment in letters or phone-calls that both of you are to give the other the benefit of the doubt and start again with something nice to write or to say. This will help you keep balanced on either side.

You have forgiven your boyfriend and that is a good start (wrong me once, shame on you - wrong me twice, shame on me).

If their stories do not add up then your boyfriend's defence will make a point of highlighting them. I am sorry that I can not help you any further.

May I ask as I am sure that others reading your plight might ask too: how did he hurt his hand? Good luck with your situation.

[gem]

hi
have you approached the police regarding his hand at the alleged time of the rape
you need to speak with his solicitor. hope you have a good one do not use a duty solicitor get an experienced one that deals with these type of cases. the solicitor needs to get hold of his medical reports that tells the court he had a incapacitated
hand at the time of the offence. and tell him anything that can help . the solicitor should be evidence gathering now anyway .

[mumtobe]

Hi Gem the police know about his hand as when he was arrested he still had the pot on and had only had the op done that week so had another 4 weeks in the pot. He still also had the pot on when he was remanded and he only had it removed 2weeks ago.

I've explained all the information to his solicitor and he is a good solicitor but I feel he is slacking a little. He can apply for bail in Dec again if there is good grounds for this so in my eyes I feel his solicitor should be doing more. I think he has the 'we have until the trail in March' mentality to be honest.

IvorBinWronged he hurt his hand whilst training at work. He is a martial arts consultant and teacher. He had previously fractured it in the past whilst playing football so it was very fragile.

I know not to approach the girl or her friends or family. I couldnt anyway as I dont know who she is. I am in regular contact with him, I go to visit him 3 times a week which is a little reassuring on both sides.

Im not sure if anyone will know but someone had mentioned the fact that as he will still be on remand at the time our son is due to be born, he can be accompanied by an officer to the hospital to be at the birth? I've tried looking online for information about it and how to apply but I can't sem to find anything relevant to the UK?

[NOHOPE]

so sorry to hear your story most of us on here are going through the same. i have also forgiven my husband for cheating and am also supporting him through the rubbish false allegation of sexual assault. stay on here and keep reading and posting i think this site has kept me sane over the last few weeks. i would never in a million years beleive such things as we read on here actually haooen till you see if for yourself. stay strong for your new arrival.

[IvorBinWronged]

Hi mumtobe

You know that the sad thing is that a martial artist consultant trains hard and keeps in shape and all this is rarely viewed in a positive light on this side of the world. The good thing is that he will be better equipped mentally to deal with jail and will probably come out in better shape than when he went in.

I had a look:

www dot prisonreformtrust.org.uk/Portals/0/Documents/PIB%20-%20Release%20on%20temporary%20licence.pdf

It may help you (prison service order 6300 ROTL - release on temporary license if the page does not work for you)

I imagine that there is a case for him to be released to be there for you both - let us hope that it happens and that he does not faint in the delivery room, still missing the birth! Good luck