Life after sentence.......

[gem]

hi might be jumping the gun a bit here but wanted some advice from any members who have completed their prison sentence. my son has been found guilty and sentenced he will be out in June 2014. won.t go into full detail about his conviction you can read my past posts for that.
we are currently trying for an appeal but early days yet . today i,v never wanted the appeal so badly as i have today. had a phone call from social services reg his allowed contact with his children after sentence .im really upset at the way they have spoke about him . will he ever be free from this this conviction again . is their light at the end of the tunnel .

[blowngasket]

hi gem
so sorry to hear about your son although i have not experianced prison life i would like to think your son can re build some sort of life for himself if i lose my case and go to prison i will concentrate on how to become self employed when i come out this would give me some control of life aain is this someting your son could consider it would give him something to aim for i am sure others on here will give you advice as well keep your chin up

[LS]

Sadly, no there is no way you can ever be free of the conviction. I'd like to say you're worrying about nothing, but that wouldn't be the truth.

It isn't so much life after prison, but what the conviction was for, which is what it goes by.

The SOR, per se, won't have much of an effect on your son if it was for an alleged rape, as opposed to one on a minor.

The SOR restrictions currently entail having to notify the police in person once a year of his salient details, and again before and after leaving the country for 3 days or more.
And you get a lovely visit from your local (un)friendly scabby ratpack anything from 1 to 12 times a year, to check what he's up to etc. And such calls are also unannounced. The frequency of such visits is down to the length of sentence.


Prospective employers (and also partners) would have to be told of the conviction. If he fails to tell an employer, any employment offer would be null and void and also the penalty for failing to keep to the SOR rules is 5 years prison.

Due to the conviction, the SS will be involved - as you've discovered - and they will also check out any new partner he may have, to make sure they know about his conviction (and to put the boot in).

The list of issues is weighty, and that's without any demons he'll be trying to cope with himself, which the wrongful conviction has brought about.

I wish you well on this, the sentence is unfortunately the easy part, but no one seems concerned enough to tell you.
LS

[gem]

Life after sentence

thankyou RF
at least we know where we stand now. cant believe this. looks like we are going to need some family discussions now .

[Amre]

Iam not even going to insult you by saying i know what you are going through. I don't, Im sitting hear looking at my 8 yo son and im frightened of what could happen to him when hes older. I cant understand your pain and i hope i never will.

You are doing what any mother would do- try and help their child. Please do exhaust all legal avenues and even send a letter to your mp. I think you need to operate under the assumption that all your efforts will fail, you cant get your hopes up time after time and then get let down. Honestly it will wreck your head. I'm not sure but 7 years and 50% remission means he will do 3-ish years jail time? Its easy for me to stay this, but FAs can face much longer sentences.

I know there's a lot you cant do and I'll bet its the being powerless to help your child is whats hurting you so much. But there are ways that you can constructively help him.

You can prepare for when he is released. He will never get that time back and you cant remove the conviction. Are you attached to where you live at the minute? Id suggest that if it is possible you should move home. Move to a different city where no one knows your son, or your family. I know this is a huge step and alot of upheaval but I can help him start a new life. If he is released to your new home then he can get a job ect without fear. A new life and a new start for you all might be what everyone needs. you can put all ur energy into this for him.

I can understand most wouldn't want to move. Most believe that as he didn't do anything wrong why should he move?. They'd be right, you shouldn't need to move, but When hes out and everyone knows, before you know it the mobs will be vying for his guts. Some people don't care if hes guilty or not, some people that are found NOT guilty still get treated like this. Were past the point of right and wrong, not its time for damage control and trying to give this lad a future despite this.

[RFLH]

The vigilantes don't happen very often Amre - it only hits the news when it does happen, there are thousands of SO's that never get any hassle.

Most of the worry is in your own head, you're convinced that everyone knows. But most people are so wrapped up in their own lives that they don't really care.

If its feasible to move, then you can have a fresh start, the police don't want any problems so should any problems arise - use your liason officer.

[gem]

thankyou all for your replies
we are considering moving away.my son has also said he will not come back here to live now. as most of his so called mates as you rightly say LS is they are not interested they are to busy getting on with their own lives . a few of them could have spoken up for my son and told the police about her other complaints the accuser has made about them. or contacted him in prison or even wrote to him. apart from 2 that i know of even they say they are to busy getting on with their own problems . we have few years to sort out our lives . unless we get our appeal that is we still evidence gathering at the moment and waiting for transcripts to come through ..

[LS]

It's a hard lesson to learn, but it really is at times like this that you find out who your true friends are.

I think he's made far too many who are the human equivalent of bog roll - wipe and flush away at the first instance.

[gem]

well said LS
i think he knows this now. also it goes for me and my husbands friends.
we have had many over the years but i can count on 1 hand the support we have had from them .. my family have been our rock. which goes to show blood is thicker than water..

[LS]

I've had the opposite - some family walked away; their loss, I don't miss them. Tossers.
But managed to keep some good friends.

[Kermit]

Gem, When Kermit was found guilty in janruary and then sentenced in April all the people in the viewing gallery are still there for us and we had bums on every seat!

Some will say no smoke without fire and others just go on with thier lives, They may say "hi" in the street or in alot of cases you dont see them, its like your son was never in thier lives. Those that do turn away are not friends and never were.

Its good your son has family support and with this he will draw strength from you all and keep his strength up for his appeal.

Somne people dont know what to say or feel they cant do anything now!

We have support from family and friends but no1 will ever understand unless they are in the same situation, how just going out to the cinema or writting about my week or my daughter his step daughter writting to him about her study/work , puts us in a cell only larger than my kermits, as we dont want him to feel down if we are doing stuff, we would do with him and vice versa he does not want us to stop doing things and enjoys reading about our week....

I wonder if any of his friends have heard of www.emailaprisoner.com?
Its only 30p an email to send and easy to register

No matter what support always here x kermits fiancee

[gem]

hi
thank you everyone for your support .this site has been my lifeline.
i agree many people don,t know what to say to you . i remember having a very heated argument with one of my sisters recently who i am not very close to.over my sons trial.she did not attend by the way at any point . she more or less said to me they do not find people guilty of rape without DNA or overwhelming evidence . my reply was no neither did i believe that until my son.s trial.now we all know it,s not about justice any more .so people tend to believe the same as my sister i think i think the press made a good enough job of alienating any friends we thought we had .funny enough though our gallery was full of my family and my sons ex girlfriends to support him .not one of her family or friends were their not one!!

[Kermit]

Its amazing these liars ( i have stronger words but rules dont allow them ) dont have one person in the gallery on sentence day or during the trial its only the defendants family and friends in most cases!
Ours has claimed 2 rapes ( with a 3rd added )but only the 1 reported to the police and even that was not her that reported it...she had a friend take it out of her hands and another adult called the police.
What prison is your son in? Kermit is over on the Isle of Wight @ Albany

take care thoughts with you Kermits fiancee

[Rights Fighter]

thankyou RF
at least we know where we stand now. cant believe this. looks like we are going to need some family discussions now .

Do you mean LS? Commendation where it is due!

[gem]

oops yes did mean LS ...