My Ordeal As Best as I can remember

[ordeal]

So i surrendered myself to the police after I realized I had been accused of rape.

How it all happened. Please bare with me this will be long

I used to link a girl about 2years ago lets call her girl A. I met up with her quite a few times and we had sex then we never saw each other for a long time. I then landed a job in the town where she lives and contacted her to say i will be in that town and because i didn't know anyone, it will be good to meet up. She told me she now has a boyfriend but we could still meet as friends. During one of our conversations, she said she had another friend who she will link me up with.

I met up with her a few more times in hopes that I will meet this other girl but it turned out this other girl was always busy when I was around. I even slept at girl A,s flat on one occasion. I slept in the living room and she slept in the lounge.

on the 25th September 2011, I was working a long day and had to finish work at 10pm, girl A contacted me and she her friend (girl was around and would like to link up with me. I told her i will meet them after work. She gave me girl B's number and I called her and arranged to meet her after work.

I then met up with her in girl A's house who was about to go out with her boyfriend so they kinda pressured us to make a decision what we wanted to do. I proposed to girl B that we should go into town for a few drinks and she denied. I then said is it better if we went to hers and she said yes. So we went by the local shop and got 2bottles of wine and a 10 pack of cigarettes.

We went to girl her house and started drinking and chatting and went through the first bottle. She then said she wanted to sit on the couch were i was sitting inorder to play music from her phone. I said that was alright. She played several songs, slow jams and singing along the lyrics and generally flirting. We started the second bottle and she decided to turn off the light. We continued drinking and listening to music.

A few hours later, she said she was going to bed and that i could join her. She went into her room and then invited me in. I got in the bed, took off my shirt and layed besides her and immediately started touching her. Continued this for about 45minutes without any resistance. I then took off her bra, tights and pants and started robbing my penis against her vagina and she was practically grinding on my penis. A few seconds later i prematurely ejaculated and that's when i decided to penetrate her but before i could do this, she punched me and said what are you trying to do.

I was stunned and the first thing that came to my mind was Oh **** i didn't put on a condom. I still didn't respond for a few seconds feeling embarrassed not haven won a condom.

Then to my utter bewilderment she started shouting get out of my flat or i will call the police. She got out her phone and i think dialed 999. I thought she was joking but i could hear her saying please get this man out of my house. I said to he there is no need for that as I am leaving anyway.

When i got out i sent a text to girl A saying 'your girl just punched me' I called her a few minutes later and explained everything that had happened to her and she felt really sorry for me.

In my confused state, I called girl B again to actually find out why she had behaved the way she did she said the police are hear. I requested to speak to the police and they said they needed to interview me. I told them where i was and they came and picked me up. Took me to the station and shockingly I didn't leave the station till the next day in the evening. WORST DAY OF MY LIFE. I CRIED AND CRIED AND CRIED SOME MORE.

I have never been locked up, i felt humiliated, all my rights taken away from me, locked between four walls, i couldn't do what i wanted to do.

The long short, I am on bail till the 28th November and I have experienced the worst nightmares, I can't eat sleep, concentrate, do anything. I have not been to work for almost a month, fortunately I was recently diagnosed with cervical spondolysis and the doctor signed me off, so work thinks thats the reason why am depressed.

I am an aspiring solicitor with just two more years to go. At the moment i work with teenagers. My life seems to have stopped.


PLEASE HELP ME

[largactyl1]

Hi there, I just want to welcome you to the forum, and although the circumastances are horrible, this is a great place for advice and support and to let off steam.

Other people will be along who know more than I but I would say, make a thorough list of everything that happened and keep it safe, I think others would say to keep a copy with someone trusted because although I am sure most coppers are fine, some might help make the False Accuser's complaint fit your evidence. You will need to state your general area.

Talk about your ordeal only to those you trust.

Other people here can help you to find a solicitor who specialises in such allegations, as quite often others will not do. Don't be surprised if you are bailed again, Tony was bailed and re-bailed for 16 weeks before being NFA'd.


Kind regards to you
Jen

[ordeal]

Thanks a lot for the reply Jen

I have had the worst month and experience in my whole life. I have never had any dealings with the police so the whole experience is terrifying.

I am a generally very private person and have so far nursed this whole experience for over a month without telling a single soul until i came across this forum.

As the days go by, i get more anxious and reading some of the posts on here and other sites gets me even more nervous especially about the gross miscarriage of justice when it comes such cases.

Am losing the will to live even just thinking if this has to go beyond the police station like to court etc. At the moment I dont think i can live to EVER experience that or have the courage to live in this world after that.

[Casehardened]

Hi,

You mentioned that you're training as a solicitor and that you've done your research on this and other forums: you are then obviously well aware of what could happen to you and won't need advice on the practicalities of getting the correct legal representation (and taking the worst scenario, the right barrister)

What is probably more useful is to look into how to cope with the waiting game and my suggestion would be to consider all the possible options and to create a flow chart for each;

For example, taking the wild card first, assuming your passport hasn't been seized you could go and live in a non-extraditable country: probable outcome, trial in absentia with an inevitable guilty verdict so never being able to return here.

More prosaically, you may be NFA'd, you may be charged but it doesn't get to trial, it may get to trial and you may be acquitted, and of course it may get to trial and you may be found guilty.

Consider all these options and how you would deal with each outcome should that occur; this will give you a coping mechanism and is better than a general panicking.

It will probably also help to take the worst option and plan your defence as you would want your legal team to play it for you.

Hopefully all this will get your mind back on track and working for you.

[ordeal]

Thanks for this sir but unfortunately as petty as it may sound i cant even think straight let alone write anything that makes sense

[RFLH]

read through some of the other threads and the answers - you'll find them all much the same.

[ordeal]

so am getting really really scared thinking of how this might all go wrong. I just remembered the friend of the girl who accused me called me a couple of weeks ago and was saying how she heard this girl had accused other men before. She also strongly criticized the girls behavior and said the girl was generally out to get men.
At the moment i don't trust any girl at all unfortunately and at the time she called me, the police had not interviewed her. I don't know what she will say in her interview when the police eventually interview her.

I have contacted my network provider T-mobile and requested a transcript/recording of the conversation I had with this girl and the lady I spoke to believes they can retrieve it. She has advised that I write a letter requesting this and include a £10 cheque which I will be posting out tom.

I don't know how useful this will be or what I should do if i manage to get this from T-mobile.

Your thoughts dear friends

[Rights Fighter]

so am getting really really scared thinking of how this might all go wrong. I just remembered the friend of the girl who accused me called me a couple of weeks ago and was saying how she heard this girl had accused other men before. She also strongly criticized the girls behavior and said the girl was generally out to get men.
At the moment i don't trust any girl at all unfortunately and at the time she called me, the police had not interviewed her. I don't know what she will say in her interview when the police eventually interview her.

I have contacted my network provider T-mobile and requested a transcript/recording of the conversation I had with this girl and the lady I spoke to believes they can retrieve it. She has advised that I write a letter requesting this and include a £10 cheque which I will be posting out tom.

I don't know how useful this will be or what I should do if i manage to get this from T-mobile.

Your thoughts dear friends

Really?????????????????

You then say:

I don't know how useful this will be or what I should do if i manage to get this from T-mobile.

As a trainee solicitor you will have advice on this at your fingertips.....




Edited as I have just noticed this in your earlier post:

I am an aspiring solicitor with just two more years to go. At the moment i work with teenagers.

Either you are a trainee solicitor or you aspire to be one. Which is it? And how does this relate to working with teenagers?

[ordeal]

heya rights fighter my mind is all over the place
ok a lil about me...I studied law in a different jurisdiction, then did an LL.M here in the UK. At the moment i am studying to sit the new york bar in July then take the QLTT thereafter

At the moment i work for a housing association as and also do some part time work as a support worker to pay bill and complete education

and its no excuse by the way not to know how useful the transcript/recording will be but after reading some of the posts and other articles on here i am a bit skeptical handing this to the police on the one hand and on the other hand if there is a GOD, there will be no need for a trial.

Really not making sense i know in this frame of mind

[ordeal]

14days before bail date....nervous much

[ordeal]

answering bail tomorrow

So I haven't had anything to drink today after stupidly locking myself away all last week as I couldn't cope anymore plus I couldn't bring myself to telling anyone I know of my ordeal. My heart has been racing non stop all day. Please yous pray for me not to do anything stupid and to have some relieving news tomorrow

[RFLH]

have you been to your GP? Apart from being able to unburden yourself, they will give you something that will help you cope.

You should tell someone, you can't carry this on your own.

No more dark talk - if you did do something stupid then it would 'prove' that there must be guilt. Besides which, think of the effect on the people you will leave behind.

[billykickass]

Good luck tommorrow mate

[ordeal]

Haven't been to the GP as I am a very private person and feel very insecure opening up to people I know. I haven't even managed to gather the courage to tell my family back in the states. My gf just broke up with me coz the whole thing has been affecting me and I haven't been able to talk to her. I have basically had the worst 2 months of my entire life. Please God don't let an innocent man's life get ruined . Please people pray for me

[IvorBinWronged]

Let's be really clear on this...

You wrote:

"I then took off her bra, tights and pants and started robbing my penis against her vagina and she was practically grinding on my penis. A few seconds later i prematurely ejaculated and that's when i decided to penetrate her but before i could do this, she punched me and said what are you trying to do."

Everyone on here tries their very best to understand and support the people brave enough to post here but I have read your story and have a question:

You decided to penetrate her. Did you ask if that was ok with her?

I am sure that this is an important point for you, for her and for the law. I wish you all the very best of luck with your case but if you did not ask for permission and her permission was not there then...

This is a false rape accusation issue forum and your story for me goes right up to the boundaries of what is acceptable and possibly beyond. The girl punched you in response to you "deciding" to penetrate her (with your semen-coated penis).

No-one "forgets" to put a condom on.

Perhaps you should counter claim for physical assault!