Falsely accused of rape and sexual assault!!!

[JG90]

Hi,
Me and my ex gf had been together for 4 months, we had a very sexual relationship and were very much in love. I then moved to my dads up in Scotland, on the 29th August for a few weeks and we remained together and missed eachother like mad. On the 17th September i started a silly arguement and i said that we was over (i didnt mean it) and i ignored her texts allday. The following day her dad rang me and said that we was over and that my ex was being sick because of my mind games. I felt soo stupid and regretted it soo much. I came back from my dads on the 27th September and on the 29th i was arrested and charged with rape and sexual assault. Basically, the night before i went to my dads, (28th Aug) me and my ex had a bottle of wine and had sex, but during sex my mum came home so we stopped and agreed to carry on later, we went to see my mum and after a while we went back to my room, my ex fell asleep and i had sex with her. I know some might say that there was no consent, but we had on many occasions spoken about it and agreed that if one of us ever fell asleep, that we had permission to try to have sex with the other, i understand this may sound weird, but the idea came from a friend, who told me that he had slept with his gf, thinking she was awake, when she was infact asleep. My ex and I didnt think this to be possible therefore the curiousity and agreement to try it. I believe her parents read texts on her phone and found out about the situation and have brainwashed her into saying it was rape, she did consent but i feel asthough she is too scared to admit it to her parents and has gone along with it. I have been on bail since the 30th Sept but am not allowed in my own town and am feeling very alone, any advice would be much appreciated.

[Rights Fighter]

In law - this is rape. She did not give consent and could not because she was asleep.

Whether you had a previous agreement that either of you could sexually interfere with each other while the other is asleep is something you will have to deal with at trial. If she agrees that you had this sort of "arrangement" then all well and good but I can't see the jury believing that if she denies it.

.........i understand this may sound weird, but the idea came from a friend, who told me that he had slept with his gf, thinking she was awake, when she was infact asleep. My ex and I didnt think this to be possible therefore the curiousity and agreement to try it.

So you tried it once? The way you explained it initially it seems this was a regular occurrence.

[JG90]

No, we spoke about it on more than one occasion but i only tried it once, we was in a loving relationship and consent was there, shes even sent me naked pictues of herself since the incident and everythin was normal, but then we broke up and her parents got involved and now this has happened, in text messages week after the incident we talk about it and she agrees to try and do it to me when im asleep!

[Rights Fighter]

Well you have your text messages (even if they are deleted a forensic expert will be able to restore them) and the naked photos she sent you AFTER the alleged event. Best not to hand these over to the police until you have shown them to a solicitor and got them copied.

[JG90]

The police took my phone when they arrested me, but the pictures she sent me where sent to my email address and are still on my email account, i will not delete them as, if she felt asthough she was raped by me why did she then send me naked pictures of herself?

[RFLH]

as a back up can you transfer any emails and photos onto a disk and get someone you trust to look after it? The police may at some point decide to take your comput.er away. Don't tell them about the photos - only your solicitor

[Casehardened]

The police took my phone when they arrested me, but the pictures she sent me where sent to my email address and are still on my email account, i will not delete them as,

If the police wanted to look at your computer (though this only usually happens when there is suspicion of illegal material) they would have seized it at the time of your arrest.

However it would be a sensible precaution in any case to save the complete emails (together with date and time headers) to a memory stick; after all the hard drive might suddenly go faulty!

Edit to say SNAP with RFLH........to the minute!

[RFLH]

ahhhh - great minds CH!

[Rights Fighter]

If the police wanted to look at your computer (though this only usually happens when there is suspicion of illegal material) they would have seized it at the time of your arrest.

However it would be a sensible precaution in any case to save the complete emails (together with date and time headers) to a memory stick; after all the hard drive might suddenly go faulty!

Edit to say SNAP with RFLH........to the minute!

There should still be electronic footprints on the phone which would discern what date they were sent - ie after the alleged assault, even if the image is not longer there. I don't know if the detail of when they arrived on your mobile would show on the transfer to your computer and from there to a memory stick.

[billykickass]

Hey mate
If it helps you feel better me and my girlfriend have a similar arrangement if one is asleep the other is more than welcome to go ahead if the the situation is ok your not the only one. However after what RF said i may make sure this doesnt happen although i know my girlfriend would never report someone for rape unless it actually happened.

[RFLH]

good luck with that then!!

[felix]

"If the police wanted to look at your computer (though this only usually happens when there is suspicion of illegal material) they would have seized it at the time of your arrest."

They took my computer to look at emails - no allegation (as far as I know although of course I do not know exactly what she alleged) of illegal material

[Rights Fighter]

The police can come back to seize your computer if they did not do this when they arrested for questioning. It depends on evidence as it comes in from the complainants and their supporters.

[LS]

Hey mate
If it helps you feel better me and my girlfriend have a similar arrangement if one is asleep the other is more than welcome to go ahead if the the situation is ok your not the only one. However after what RF said i may make sure this doesnt happen although i know my girlfriend would never report someone for rape unless it actually happened.

You cannot guarantee that. One argument, or you look at another girl the wrong way, and you could very easily end up accused of rape by your girlfriend.
Just because she spends every night asleep next to you does not mean she can never turn against you.
Many here have had exactly that happen to them.

Your girlfriend has a vagina, and a love of money just like every other girl, and those two criteria are enough to equip your girl to accuse you if and when it suits.

[IvorBinWronged]

If you shared a bottle of wine...

..would that be enough to say that she was drunk? If her alcohol consumption history shows that half a bottle (was it equal amounts drank?) did not take her past the drunk status then you have a positive point there because a drunken female could be considered to be incapable of giving consent to sex giving a kinda double-whammy to fit you up and sell you a crime. It could be then argued from there that neither party was asleep - just two people acting out a shared fantasy - one overtly and the other covertly awake. Just a scenario that popped out of the ether. Go back and have a good look inside of the way that you view female behaviour and female interaction with other humans and try not to get sucked into this rather lucrative (no intention implied to your accuser) honey-trap. Oh - and if it's 11k a pop compo, why are we not trying harder as a civilized nation to seek out and compensate to the annual tune of £640+ million if there is a rape every nine minutes data from wah wah wah dot endviolenceagainstwomen dot com + good luck with it all + remind yourself everyday in the mirror that you can beat this monster you can beat this monster you can beat this monster.