My Story

[fighter]

Even walking around Asda seems 10 times better... Just how low can this process drag you down? looking forward to getting the old me back.

I think anything is 10 times better :-) enjoy getting back the old you yoda!! :-) am so happy for you and your family.

[yoda]

At the back of my mind I just think how many other are going through this now? do you have any stats from the website?

[marynarz]

All the best in new life!!!

[Faith]

At the back of my mind I just think how many other are going through this now? do you have any stats from the website?

It's something that there is no definitive answer. There IS an answer somewhere to how many arrests/charges/convictions of sexual offences there are each year. I think you can find those out on the government web pages or the CPS pages.
How many are the result of false allegations?
Who can tell?
But we do know that this website is just scraping the surface.

Try not to dwell on it though, at least for now. Embrace your new lease of life. You can always return to thinking on the issue at a later stage. Right now, the best thing you can do is spend some time thinking of other things. It will be natural to feel some periods of 'come-downs' after the initial euphoria. Entertaining thoughts about how many other people are enduring it might trigger something like this in the first few weeks. Take a break from it all.

Not suggesting you leave the forum, of course. Would love for you not to be a stranger but would be fully understandable if you never wanted to log on again! Take care.

[yoda]

Cool I'll take your advise.... But no thinking about her and what must be goign through her head and is she ok

What a numpty i am

Plan of attack..

1. Get signed back to work full time tomorrow.
2. Get work back on track.
3. Sort divorce out!
4. Try and remember it's a lucky escape and not a love lost. (She would of only got worse over time)

[Saffron]

An excellent attitude to have Yoda! No point in mourning - she obviously didn't give your sanity or freedom a second thought!

[fighter]

Plan of attack..

1. Get signed back to work full time tomorrow.
2. Get work back on track.
3. Sort divorce out!
4. Try and remember it's a lucky escape and not a love lost. (She would of only got worse over time)[/QUOTE]


I like your plan of attack and am echoing Faith's embracing your new life suggestion!! -- qwhoops i deleted part of the quote command!

[Faith]

Love your attack plan yoda...especially the use of the word 'attack'! Good for you.

[yoda]

Just trying to pick myself up....

I'm trying to kid myself into feeling positive! At the min i am feeling sorry for her, I still love her I don't know why.

I've blamed her actions on mental health and it's not helping me pull away from her.

[Faith]

This is a very normal and understandable reaction and one that will pass. It's not possible to just turn off love for someone, no matter what they do, it's more of a gradual process.
However, I would say (not that I am any kind of medical expert) that in most cases, it would be wrong to blame in full any kind of mental disorder for a false allegation.There has to be an element of cruelty and nastiness there to carry it out.
You are a better man without her and you will find it easier as time goes on.

Saffron put it best by saying that she didn't think twice about what she did to you. So try your best to focus your mind elsewhere. You've had a lucky escape...this could have ended so badly. Make sure you never give her the opportunity again. Don't contact her, don't listen if she contacts you...and in time you will barely even think about her.

There is life after her...and you will begin to enjoy it.

[yoda]

I agree I'm not comfortable to blaming it all on mental health(Bipolar)... but I want to keep this perfect image i have of her I need to join the 2 halves of her I have together the perfect side and the one to put me on this roller coaster.

When I allow myself to see her for real I may beable to move on.

She's left me a wonderful legacy of closer friends and a stronger family, something to be happy for.

Maybe time for a walk in the sun make the most of this "Sicky"

[Faith]

You're doing well Yoda...it's a slow process. It'll take you some time to accept her for what she is.
Bi-polar or not, she made some choices which permanently damaged your life. You're now in a position to piece everything back together...just leave her piece out, enjoy the legacy she left that you mentioned and allow yourself to heal. Take advantage of the support network around you and enjoy that walk in the sun.
Maybe appreciating the simple beauty of nature will make you see that there's not much left that's beautiful about her once you scrape away the surface.

[yoda]

Wise words i know although difficult to read.

I know deep down the analagy of scratching the surface is true under neath she is twisted inside but again not her fault.

I wanted to show her she could trust and be happy like a friend said some people just don't want to be content.

I hope your tutting at me

I'll keep you posted on how I'm doing!

[Faith]

Not tutting yoda, I do understand why youre feeling this way.
Yes, please keep us posted.

[yoda]

We'll that worked well......

step out the door to see my wifes car parked on next doors drive!

just after she left police drive up and OIC hand delivers NFA letter..

I come back 30 mins later not as chillied as i'd of hoped but trying to work out whats occuring!