My Story

[yoda]

My wife has accused me of rape...
I did visit my wife at her house(we are separated) after agreeing I could come around.
It take 2 distinct chapters downstairs and upstairs.
Downstairs..
We shared details about separate counselling and general fears etcs. We sat on sofa and started petting touching and kissing. She claims that she asked me to leave many times, but she did not.
She's depressed and I saw she was tired and I asked her if I could "tuck" her in and help settle her off as she needed her daily nap.
She said this was ok.. But in her accusation she claims she didn't want this! On a previous occasion she had said she didn’t want me to take her upstairs so I comfortable she could of said no if she’d wanted to.
Upstairs..
She followed me into her bedroom I sat on corner of bed and watched her get undressed to her pants only. She got into bed and I got into bed fully clothed and cuddled her for 20-30 mins or so.
She claims she was asking me to stop and I was that rough she wet herself, she did not either ask/tell me to stop.
Post...
We both regretted having sex that morning and we shared that in texts. She acknowledges that she was also responsible for it happening and that she still loved and fancied me. My regret was due to is not being in our relationships interest and not being thoughtful with regards her depression.
I've since been interviewed by the police at length and am currently on bail await the CPS decision.
My wife(ex to be) works in the domestic violence as an women’s advocate. She’s very familiar with court and what to say. She’s getting plenty of attention and support.
I'm losing my mind.... I'm still coming to terms losing my relationship never mind the potential from the charges loosing job, kids(from previous marriage) and heaven forbid a spell in prison.
Potential for CPS deciding NFA?

[Casehardened]

Hello and welcome to the forum,

The scenario you describe (ex-partners occasionally getting together for sex) is not at all unusual; after all, in a way, it's a perfectly natural thing to happen unless the split was particularly acrimonious.

What is unusual is for this to develop into a rape accusation. It's difficult to second-guess as to what the CPS's decision might be, but some members have been through similar hoops and they may be able to offer advice.

In the meantime, while waiting, try to work out reasons for her making the accusation: relationships? is there a new partner who might be jealous; financial? would she get to keep the house if you were inside; children? are there issues over access. These are general points and yours may well be different, but it is useful to establish any motives.

We both regretted having sex that morning and we shared that in texts. She acknowledges that she was also responsible for it happening and that she still loved and fancied me.

If the police haven't retained your phone it would also be useful (just in case of the worst outcome) to get these texts transcribed.

In the meantime try to keep a positive outlook, I know this isn't easy....and be prepared that you might be rebailed more than once.

[yoda]

I've been racking my brain since I got wind of her considering this as rape as to why she would.
The only thing I can think of is anger. She blames me for the relationship breakdown and her relocating her kids to where I lived. Her kids are very settled here at school and I think she'll resettle them back to where they used to live. Again this will make her very angry/bitter towards me. She's also a domestic violence advocate and I think she's been influenced by her work.
I still love this women and i don't think she's malicious in any way yet she’s doing this.
She says she loves my children yet this path could lead to them being without a father for 5 years.

[yoda]

Still no more news

4 weeks to go what will the outcome be?

[gem]

hi yoda
what happened to the texts on your phone, have you showed them to your solicitor yet, this is vital evidence that will show she gave consent.

[yoda]

Police have both phones...

Texts from me that express regret that we had sex and texts from her that suggest she was also responsible for allowing it to happen.

Texts can be intepritted in many ways i hope they are considered as they were meant.

[yoda]

two weeks to go.. faring well but very drained.

[LS]

Police have both phones...

Did you manage to get the texts transcribed or preferably photographed?
If not, I would be onto your solicitor PRONTO to make sure these phones don't "go missing."

Not only that, but if those texts make any difference to your case, then you need to:

1. Get the evidence off them and into a format your solicitor can use.
2. Ensure that they are not disregarded.

It could mean the difference between spending some time in a cell, and not spending some time in a cell.

[yoda]

2 weeks to go no news is good news.

She's been interacting with my ex wife and still seeing my kids they are confused.

[yoda]

1 week to go and received letter extending Bail for another 6 weeks

Wsa hoping it would get kicked into touch before xmas.

[billykickass]

Dont worry mate the same happened to me with only 1 day to go. I found that im coping better, just remember you owe it to yourself to have an awesome christmas the way im trying to look at life is that i could go to jail but im not there now so lets live life to the full.

[marynarz]

.... to look at life is that i could go to jail but im not there now so lets live life to the full.

This is good

I like this!!!

[ID123]

My partner has just been wrongly convicted of rape. After one hung jury a second one has just found him guilty. I didn't ever seriously consider that this would happen because there is no evidence it is simply his word against hers.
What i am saying is make sure your case is strong because after the trial has taken place it is too late.
The jury will just listen to both people and decide which story they prefer, if she has experience of being in court and knows what juries like to hear, it is possible that is all it could take for them to prefer her story to yours.
He was on bail for 15 months before the 1st trial then another 3 months until the second trial.

I hope everything goes well for you

[yoda]

The last day before Xmas break I'll been invited to attend mediation with my wife... I'm on Bail so how can I attend this? Why are they pursuing this when they know I can't talk to her?

Could this be a sign it's going no further?

[fighter]

who invited you to attend the mediation? maybe you should tell your solicitor? better be safe..abide by your bail conditions.