falsley accused of sex offence-help

[Mr destroyed]

Last sunday my girlfriends uncle and her other aunts boyfriend asked to speak to me alone! When I got there they informed my my girlfriends cousin who is 18 and female had accused me of placing my genitalia in her mouth when she was passed out in my living room and filmed it with my mobile! I was nearly sick-i said I never but they said they knew I would say that-they said she is family and they believe her! They told me that I was to leave and quit my job- we all work in a prison-and to leave my partner and make up an excuse! I said I wanted to go the police as I haven't done anything but they said they don't want that as it will hurt my family and theres- they told me not even to tell my girlfriend! They said it happened the previous thursday after me and my girlfriend and mother in law went out for a drink abnout 3 in the afternoon! Her cousin met up with us about 6 after work had a couple of drinks with us inthe pub and we all went to the shop and got drink for the house! Her cousin got pretty pissed pretty quic and passed out on the couch and had our bin from the bathroom in there which she had vomited in! My mother in law went to bed and then my girlfriend did! I stayed up but was in the conservatory-my girlfriend came in several timess to have a cigarette with me throughout the night! My girlfriend and mother in law were in work at 6 but I was woken up at 10 when my girlfrend phoned the house phone-as did her cousin who shouted goodbye as she left! Then 3days later I get told that-HElP I can't eat or sleep and am handing my notice in tomorrow-and I want to tell my girlfriend

[LS]

Where's the video? If you didn't take it, then how do you know there IS one?
And why quit your job if you're innocent?

Personally I'd call their bluff. Carry on at work and see what they do.
Oh, and speak to your boss to let him know what's going on. No reason to quit, as far as I can see.

[Mr destroyed]

When her step dad and uncle spoke to me they said that someone had placed privates in her mouth and filmed it on a mobile phone?? The whole family work there and what they have said is rite- if the prison finds out even an accusation has been made I would prob loose my job plus they said if I went the police and nothing comes of it they still don't believe me and will tell everyone what I "have done" and I won't even be able to levae the house- I moved to the area less than a year ago and have no family up here I know I should stand my ground but its hard when I heve no one up here w

[NOHOPE]

i agree quitting your job and not telling your girlfriend in my eyes makes you look guilty. tell ur girlfriend what they are saying and what they want you to do, could they have some kind of motive to get you out of the picture for some reason. and if it did happen why the hell have they not been to the police something sounds very fishy if you ask me

[Mr destroyed]

To be honest I want to tell my girlfriend and will they just said I wasn't to tell anyone- I'm confused cos ithe first thing I said was go to the police but they said they were offering me an easy way out- just don't know how my partner would take it I believe she will be horrified and side with me-which I think will make things worse

[NOHOPE]

this may sound harsh and im sorry if it does but for gods sake stand up for yourself tell them to get lost tell your girlfriend everything and give her the chance to make a decsion and not let them and you make one for her. she at least deserves to know what they and you are planning

[Mr destroyed]

I know I will tell her- she's my life and the one person I can tell anything to!! Just if If I tell her it will hurt regarding her family cos they are all really close- I know I need to tell her- but the past week my head has been upside down with thoughts! My current plan is to go back where I came from and tell the police there what has been said-cos up here I have no one apart from my girlfriend and her family and there is a lot of them I just feel alone and I know that's why I should tell my girlfriend and I will

[LS]

Well, that's a family you need like a second ars*hole.

The whole thing sounds totally suspect. If there was a video, who's to say it's on your phone, or even taken by you?
They are trying to get you out of the way.

And if being blackmailed is seen by your employer as an "accusation" to fire you for, well that too is an employer you're better off being out of.
At the very least, if you explain what's going on to your employer, you've got a witness so if the family take it further then your witness is aware of it before the event.

Sadly you gotta grow a pair and stand up for yourself.

[Verity]

This is mind boggling!!!

Mr destroyed,


Tell your girlfriend AT ONCE.

Do not quit your job.

Do not run away.

Stand up and fight for what you know is right.

Do not go to the police, let the false accuser go.

Go to your union and ask for the advice of a solicitor and tell him EVERYTHING.

DO THIS FIRST THING TOMORROW - no if's, no but's.

This is your life at stake.

If you are indeed innocent, and we take it that those who come onto this forum are

indeed victim's falsely accused (we soon suss the liars and they fade away) your

sense of injustice will spur you to take action to protect yourself and your future life

now.

The next thing you do is ask yourself, why would these people make such an

allegation?

What do they want to achieve by this action?

What is their objective?

Why do they want to hurt your girlfriend?

Why don't they want you to tell her what has been alleged?

Why don't they tell her?

What is the worst they can do to you if you refuse to capitulate to their threats?

Will they go to the police? Why didn't they go in the first place?

In one fell swoop they could have jepordised your relationship, livelihood, income,

reputation, etc if that is their motive.

Gather your thoughts and take action.

Come back on tomorrow night after work and let us know your progress, by doing

that we can give you and your girlfriend the support needed.

V

Can you see the number of questions that are arising just from your short post?

You need to find the answers to these questions for your sake.

[Saffron]

I echo what the others have said.
If there is a video of you doing this, where is it? How come they haven't produced it? Simple answer is that they can't produce the video because it doesn't exist.
If you work in a prison, I would guess you are a union member - and you need to speak to the Union about this.
Personally, if a member of my family had been abused in the manner they describe and there was video proof, I would march straight down to the copshop with it. No way would I give the attacker a "get out of jail free card". That's just ridiculous.
It sounds to me as though they want rid of you.
You've got to stand up for yourself and don't let them bully/blackmail you.