The Charge.

[asimov]

Well, for me, it all started in January 2009. I came home from work one afternoon and along with the mail, I noticed a card with handwriting on it. It looked like the ones you get from the postman when they have tried to deliver something that needs your signature but this was from the Police.
It advised me that I was required to call a number ASAP so I did. A detective answered and asked me to go to a Police station nearby a few days from now and I thought it was about a nasty email I had sent to an ex in reply to a nasty one she had sent me. Anyhow, the day arrived (after 2 cancellations as the DC had other things he was dealing with) and I was arrested there and then. Now, obviously, I was rather shocked as I was obviously thinking that it was a bit extreme for an email with a couple of nasty words in it but thought I best go with it. As I was being cautioned, I was told that I was being arrested for rape, to which I was gob smacked. I have never been in trouble with the law and after having a work history which involved serving in the Army, being a member of the Special Constabulary and an Ambulance Technician, I was kind of hoping I would be the last person to be suspected of committing such a nasty crime.
Anyway, I was locked in a cell whilst they called the duty solicitor as I didn’t realise I was going to need one, again, not an experience I have ever had and was there for about 2 hours. Finally, the duty solicitor arrived and we got on with the business of my statement.
To understand why I was charged with this, first of all, you have to understand the sort of person my ex girlfriend was. We had met on an online dating site late 2007 and had initially got on really well. We met up a few times and as these sorts of things go, we found ourselves seeing each other more and more. Now, she lived in Barnstaple and me in Bristol so quite a distance between us so towards the end of 2007, we both decided that we should live together in Bristol and she would get a job up here. I managed to get her a job driving the coaches in the same company I worked for and things were going really well.
Towards August/September 2008, I began to notice small things between her and another guy at work who was our Leading Driver. Nothing I could put my finger on at the time but just little things. A few of our work colleagues had told me she was cheating on me but love is blind and I said to them they were seeing things. I arrived home late one evening to find my bags packed and my ex stood there with another driver from our work. She had told him I might ‘kick off’ and basically told me that she was bored with me as the sex life was boring and she was kicking me out. We had both shared the bills on that flat equally and both our names on the tenancy, however, I felt I didn’t have a choice and so I left, sleeping at my sisters for a while.
A friend at work allowed me to rent her house while I truly got back on my feet and had been in there for a month or so when she called me to say I had to move out. It turned out she had sublet the house from the council and a neighbour had complained, even though I had been ultra quiet and not the sort to have all night parties. I left work one evening, bought 36 paracetamols, got home and swallowed the lot. I text a friend of mine that I was sorry but he knows me a bit too well and realised what I had done. He called an ambulance and I was taken to hospital where I was kept for two and a half days. Upon being released, I stayed with my mum for a few months whilst I tried to get back on my feet and try and get some normality back in my life.
One problem existed though. My ex worked at the same company as myself and so there where ripples at work and times when things didn’t go too smoothly at all. I tried to keep out of her way as much as I could but sometimes, it was just going to happen and I would try to be as polite as I could. She text me one evening and asked if I could meet up with her as she wanted to talk so stupidly I did and as it ended up, we got back together (against a lot of peoples advice not to)
It carried on for a few months but towards the end of July 2009, I noticed things where not going well at all. I was aware of one affair she had been involved in and kind of knew another one which she was currently involved in and on August 3rd, 2009, she told me she had had enough and was leaving, something deep down I was hoping she would do.
The thing is, my ex lived in her own world. She would say things to people at work which were totally unbelievable and was constantly seeking attention of some sort. She also knew how to wind me up by saying certain things in a text or an email and January 2010, fuelled by alcohol, I replied to a particularly nasty email she had sent me with a nasty one of my own. I admit, it was not the brightest thing to do and the fact I had remained fairly calm in the 3 or 4 months she had been texting and emailing me, I kind of blew my top somewhat.
Anyway, after that email in January 2010, everything stopped. The text’s, the call’s, everything. I finally thought she had seen the light and had decided to leave me alone. Then, later in the January, I came home after a day at work and found a ‘Please call me’ card from the police. I thought it had been due to the email I sent her which I admit was rather childish of me, but nonetheless threatening.
So, I made contact with the detective constable named on the card and after a few attempts due to the detectives workload I assume, we met at the police station. I was led through to the custody suite and was thinking to myself that it was a bit weird being led through here just for an email. The DC then cautioned me; saying that my ex had accused me of raping her on the 2nd Of August 2010 and I was placed in the cell’s to await the duty solicitor.
I was sat in there for maybe just over 2 hours but to someone that has never been in trouble with the police, it’s quite a situation to be in and my mind was all over the place. I was one hundred percent sure however, that I had not raped her (indeed, we had not had intercourse for at least a week before, this I remember as I had found out she was having an affair with one of our work colleagues and it kind of shook me a bit) Duty solicitor arrived and I was taken through to the statement room where a detailed statement would take place. Not to go into it too much but I basically had to try and remember 6 or 7 months back, recount virtually my entire life history and the more personal things like how I liked having sex, did I role-play etc. Now, 3 blokes I have never met are now being made privy to my entire life, not something I had ever anticipated.
After two tapes worth of evidence, (later worked out to be 55 pages of transcript so imagine how much I had to go into) my prints and dna taken, the interview was finished and I was led out. I was bailed to re-appear at a later date and told that if I contacted her directly or indirectly, I faced being remanded in custody, definitely not an experience I would have relished.
Anyhow, a few dates went by, I hoped to hear from the police that there was no evidence to go on (mainly as there was non as it didn’t happen) and that we should both learn a lesson and keep apart. When I finally got called to attend the police station, I was gob smacked when one of the detectives told me that the CPS was going to go ahead with a prosecution. I have always believed the judicial system to be fair and just, however, my opinion dropped rather rapidly. Here was a girl who had been spurned by the partner she had cheated on, on many occasions with more than one person, decided that she would commit the ultimate sin and accuse me of rape. The evidence that the CPS decided was good enough to go on? 2 statements from 2 people, one from the mechanic who admits to having a sexual relationship with her whilst he knew she was seeing me and the other from a friend of hers who denies ever meeting me despite me taking her to work twice less than 6 months before the ‘alleged rape’ and I sat in her studio for over 90 minutes while my ex had her nails done, saying that she had finger type bruises on her upper left arm that were obviously new as they had not yet reached the yellowy stage. The funny thing is, my ex mentioned that I had raped her to the sister of a girl I had been seeing at about November 2009 whilst on the phone to my ex trying to persuade her to stop hassling me and to leave me alone. They had never met or even spoken to each other till that night but my ex felt she was able to tell her but not her two closest contacts or the police.
It’s safe to say that I am seriously angry at all of this. As a result of the allegation, I was suspended from work for just over 3 months as a driver and then got called back and literally forced to accept a job as a toilet/garage cleaner. Apart from that minor issue, my company have been extremely understanding and helpful in many ways whilst I have had this on my shoulders. If I didn’t have such a close network of friends, relatives and work colleagues, I have no doubt that by now, I would have simply ended up as a statistic somewhere, yet another life, prematurely ended due to a vicious lie that the teller does not understand is such a painful one. I am now awaiting the Plea hearing, which is obviously going to be a not guilty and to say I’m getting more and more worked up about this every day is an understatement of the grandest imaginations.
I genuinely feel for those women (and men) that are truly subject to such a horrific act as rape or sexual assault, but please, understand that by making a false rape claim, it’s not just the accused you hurt, it’s all those that feel they are unable to report a genuine rape to the police.
Well, the Plea hearing didn’t go as well as I had expected. From what I could gather, there was still outstanding paperwork from her solicitors. It has gone past the point of hoping it was going to end soon but now, I’m looking at another 3 or so months of waiting for the trial date. It is very easy to understand why so many people that are falsely accused of rape end up killing themselves as I would honestly say, I am so close to thinking about how easy it would be, rather than waking up every day and thinking about the effect it has and is having upon my life. I don’t like being single and never have done but I can’t even get close to a potential partner as saying you are being accused of rape isn’t really the best chat up line in the world.
What does make me laugh however, is how on earth the Justice (I use that term very loosely) system has allowed this to proceed on the flimsiest of ‘evidence’. Two statements, both saying that Pippa had finger ‘type’ bruises on her upper left arm and both of these statements were taken nearly 5 months after the alleged incident, that’s it. She has not even stated to both those people that she was indeed raped, they drew their own conclusions. Both witnesses are dodgy to say the least, one was having a sexual relationship with Pippa (whilst she was still in a relationship with me) and the other has so many inconsistencies, it’s truly laughable.
There are many people that feel sorry for me and those that know both of us have all said there is no way I would have done such a despicable act and that she herself, had issues of her own that I had tried on many occasions to help her with. Somehow, even though all of that information has been made available to my legal team (and I assume to hers as well) there is this apparent need to shoot my life to pieces and waste taxpayers money on a trial that could last up to 5 days. When people talk about the cost, the gross miscarriages of justice, I, like most, feel the need to voice an opinion. Now, I am part of that entire situation and am seeing it firsthand.
So, here I sit, at home, waiting for contact with my solicitor so they can give me a date for the trial which is likely to be from February 2011 onwards. When it is all over, it will be over a year of my life that I will never get back and the sickening part is, unless she admits that she made the whole thing up or it is obvious she is lying, she walks away without a blemish on her record. I will walk away finally happy that it is all over and attempt to get my life back to come kind of order, however, it will be over a year of my life that I have been close to taking my own life again but this time succeeding because of the nasty vindictiveness of a female that wanted to upset my life as much as possible, as she had done to previous ex partners in the past.
As I have found out, she does want to come back to work when her maternity leave is up and the universal opinion is that she wanted me out of the way for her return to work. Doing what she is currently doing would fit with her frame of mind, however, I would definitely say, she has not probably considered the implications of what she is doing. One of the first things she attempted to do to get me dismissed from work was to tell our union representative that I was consuming large amount of strong lager a night and then going to work the following day. Anyone that knows me knows I am not a strong drinker, indeed 4 pints is usually enough to make me tipsy enough to not want anymore so you could imagine what I would be like with multiple cans!
When all this is done, I am going to attempt to set up some kind of help group for those that have been or are in a similar situation that I have been put in. I think that maybe, as I have attempted to take my own life before when she had cheated on me the first time, I saw things from a different perspective (and having my mother on the edge of my hospital bed at 7am in the morning giving her 33yr old son a good telling off is not something I wish to put on her again or receive again!)
I will not end my life because of the childish actions of someone who could not get her own way and decided to do what she has done. I would however, like to help those that have been put in the same situation as I find myself currently in. Almost 18 months from the date is was supposed to have happened, and nearly a year from the date that it was reported and all of the things I have had to deal with in that time, places me in probably one of the best situations to offer advice to those that could do with help or just someone that believes them.

[asimov]

I have often wondered how people accused of this manage to keep their lives on track and indeed, why those that end their lives do so. It’s very easy to understand when you are able to see the situation first hand. The daily stress that you live with can become almost unbearable sometimes and you honestly do wish for it to all is over and done within the quickest way and sometimes, suicide does come across as the easiest answer being honest.

As a whole, i am unable to see how the Crown Prosecution Service are able to justify the expenditure of taking this to trial on such a flimsy evidence base. The thousands of pounds this must cost could and should be going to places where it is required, such as extra policing or nursing etc, not upon the warped mind of a spurned ex girlfriend. I think for a lot of people, its very easy to say i should have waited before agreeing to let her move in with me (i think it was only a few months) or that i should not have re-started a relationship with her after the first time that she cheated on me and i definately will not be making the same mistake in the future.

Work have been fairly understanding, however, according to them, i have been put on toilet cleaning duties as the company see it as reducing risks. I did mention that if i was deemed as a risk, then surely i would not have been talking to my manager and would be spending my time in a prison cell somewhere, waiting till my trial. The tags that are associated with the accusation of rape, guilty or as in my case, not guilty, are astounding. The emphasis (to me at least) feels like a need to prolong the agony for as long as possible, something which as I mentioned earlier, certainly has the ability to lead to mental problems, something I struggle against everyday.

My friends and family have kept me going throughout all of this entire episode to be honest and I would suggest that is key to maintaining as normal a life as possible if you are ever put in this kind of situation. You would definitely need to try and distance yourself from the actual case which, although sounding easier said than done, is not actually that difficult, albeit not in the way that any legal professional would be suggesting. Trying to maintain a normal life with something like rape hanging over your shoulders and being with you every waking second, is in real terms, impossible. More so if you have a relationship or children thrown into the whole equation because of the obvious reverberations that come with the very nature of such an allegation. There are plenty of groups available to those that have been genuinely raped and for those, I really do pray for swift justice. However, for those innocent people that are accused out of pure spite or suck like, there are limited resources available and that is something I would like to see addressed at some point.

Whilst I have been lucky in the respect that I have no kids and was not in a relationship at the time, there are men and women out there who loose not just their jobs, but children, accommodation, partners etc and I find this unbelievable. The way I have dealt with it for over a year now is to let those I socialise around and work with know just exactly what has gone on and what is happening. You will be surprised just how many people will treat you no differently and believe me, it is one part of your life where the ability to unwind with a few drinks on a weekend (don’t fall into the drink numbs the pain trap, it only hides it for a while, the same as anti depressants, neither of which I will ever turn to)

There have obviously been miscarriages of justice, however, you cannot fall in to the trap where all you can think of is spending the next 5 years in prison for something you did not do. Don’t think of it that way. You will end up falling deeper and deeper into the black hole and it will be so difficult to get yourself out that suicide will look like the only logical option. I would not want my ex to win like that and what I believe now is that as the police and the CPS are doing such a thorough job in investigating this, my ex will be found out and exposed as the liar she is. Hopefully, she will receive a punishment suitable for what she has done to me and the amount of time and money she has wasted of the CPS’s and the Police budget in pursuing this for so long. Yes, I would love to see her get a custodial sentence for all of this, however, I fully believe that she will pull on waterworks, blame it all on something, and walk away from there pretty much scot free. That however, would not bother me as long as she left me alone for, well the rest of my life would be a start and that’s all I want. The ability to get on with my life and not have to look over my shoulder anymore and to wake up in the morning knowing what a wonderful world it is.

Well, the trial has come and gone and I am a free man after justice was done and I can honestly say that its been the most emotional 4 days I have ever been through and to say it was a waste of time and money would be an understatement. Her video statement and her cross examination differed in so many ways that even the judge appeared to be getting bored on many occasions.

Monday was pretty much just about her video statement being shown and she could not remember many things which my barrister suggested would remain fresh in her mind had the rape been as violent as she claimed it was.
Tuesday was her cross examination and her witnesses and to say the 3 stories differed would be an understatement. They could not decide how many bruises ***** claimed to have had or where they were on her arm. Stories about how ***** had claimed she had come to my flat and found a woman there with my kid (I don’t have and never have had children) came out and suchlike, something I found very hard to stay quiet about.
Wednesday was my turn. I was told I didn’t have to take the stand but I felt the need to prove my innocence was worth the emotional rollercoaster I faced. To say I felt like a little child when I went into the dock was an understatement. My barrister went through my entire life, from as early as I can remember to the day I was arrested. Her barrister then took over and I really came close to breaking down under the extreme stress it was creating. I did manage to keep it together and then had to wait for my 2 witnesses to take the stand. One was a work friend who witnessed an incident and my long term ex girlfriend.
What annoyed me most is the fact that had *****’s past been allowed to be brought up, it would have shown a distinct pattern to her behaviour but apparently, we are not allowed to bring her past up yet we are allowed to bring mine up. The benefit to bringing mine up was there is nothing in mine at all. Thursday was the verdict day and at 1240hrs, the jury came back in and a unanimous verdict of not guilty. Was the biggest release I have ever had and that is not an understatement. I broke down in tears and was allowed to join my family and friends in the public gallery.

*****, her friends and family never turned up after Tuesday, not even for the verdict. I found this a bit strange as surely had I committed such a vile crime, then im sure I would have wanted to see justice done. I have no idea what will happen to her now and to be honest, I don’t care. I could not afford to bring a prosecution against her for defamation of character or suchlike so just want to move on. By seeing my story, I hope to let both those that are falsely accused a ray of hope and those that are genuinely victims of rape that the system is thorough. From what I have seen in the media, the average time for something like this to get to trial is about 9 months. I went through 16 months of literal hell, waking up every morning and thinking of another reason to not attempt suicide again. I was on medication to help me sleep, help me carry on with taking every day at a time, something that without the tablets, was so hard its indescribable.

Well, this is my little story, quite in depth i am afraid but once the fingers start, i find it difficult to stop
I hope that those who have been FA'd read this and see that although it may seem the police and the courts are against you, as long as you hold it together and make the effort, you will be rewarded. While i was going through the initial hearings, case management etc, i had almost no hair (shaved) and always stood with my hands behind my back as per stood at ease in the Army. I was told to grow my hair and stand a little more loosely so i did not come across as agressive so thats what i did and i dont thin, many of us could say we shaved our head to celebrate (that was a massive thing for me!!)
I hope you have not been too bored with my little collection of thoughts and opinions and i hope it will help people as it helped me by putting it all down.

[Saffron]

Hi Asimov
Just to let you know, I have edited your post to remove the accuser's name. I have also put in some paragraphs to make it a little easier to read.
Thanks for sharing this, I know it will give hope to lots of others. And I'm also glad you found it therapeutic to write it all down!

[asimov]

Thanks Saffron
I am usually on top of my literary skill's, however, that little lot was simply typed as it happened. I wouldn't say that my method is the best one for everyone as i am sure we all know, one size most definately does not fit all.