Ugh - Bad Day Today

[lifesnotfair]

Hello again, I don't know if any of you remember my previous posts but I just need some reassurance from someone today.

Recently, my falsely accused b/f has been contacted by someone who has info regarding his accuser. They have CCTV footage of her throughout the night in the club. The police only have CCTV of her leaving the club 'in a distressed state'. You might also remember that he had heard she works as an escort. She has been found on several websites. There is also facebook evidence of her behaviour the day after the alledged attack. It's of her inviting a male to come and 'f**k her'. Most of the posts on her facebook page on the days following the incident are sexually explicit. He has text messages from her the following morning from her thanking him for looking after her once again (no mention of any distress or attack). At the time she sent these messages she had not yet been approached by police.

He spoke to his Solicitor yesterday about this evidence that he has and his solicitor says they need something to explain why she was seen leaving the club in tears and in distress. My b/f is very low at the moment to say the least. He's once again convinced he's going to prison and to be honest, up to now I really didn't believe he would be, but now I have that terrible feeling that he will be. He has told me that he will not go to prison for a crime he didn't commit. He would rather die. I have run out of reassuring words for him and don't know what to say. Please, please can anyone say anything reassuring?

Thanks.x

[marynarz]

Reply

Hi.

All I can say is that none of the members can say that everything is gonna be ok or not
In my opinion you should tell him that you will be with him whatever happen, that's for sure.

Your help starts here.
Take sit with him and talk about evidences he have. Make him think how to defend if his case goes to the court.

I realise that in this way my mentality changed and to be honest I have found a lot of mew thinks which could push my accuser to make false allegations. And thanks to thinking about court I have found witnesses and many more thinks which could help me

You have to be strong and you should be the person who is motivating him to prepare for the wors. But make sure you do all you can to prove that he is innocent

I know that if someone tells you that everyting looks ok will make both of you feel better. But this is dangerous too, cos you will think that you don't need to do anything cos someone said that's everything looks ok.

Do your homework and go thrue everything you have against her!

[Rights Fighter]

Hello again, I don't know if any of you remember my previous posts but I just need some reassurance from someone today.

Recently, my falsely accused b/f has been contacted by someone who has info regarding his accuser. They have CCTV footage of her throughout the night in the club. The police only have CCTV of her leaving the club 'in a distressed state'. You might also remember that he had heard she works as an escort. She has been found on several websites. There is also facebook evidence of her behaviour the day after the alledged attack. It's of her inviting a male to come and 'f**k her'. Most of the posts on her facebook page on the days following the incident are sexually explicit. He has text messages from her the following morning from her thanking him for looking after her once again (no mention of any distress or attack). At the time she sent these messages she had not yet been approached by police.

He spoke to his Solicitor yesterday about this evidence that he has and his solicitor says they need something to explain why she was seen leaving the club in tears and in distress. My b/f is very low at the moment to say the least. He's once again convinced he's going to prison and to be honest, up to now I really didn't believe he would be, but now I have that terrible feeling that he will be. He has told me that he will not go to prison for a crime he didn't commit. He would rather die. I have run out of reassuring words for him and don't know what to say. Please, please can anyone say anything reassuring?

Thanks.x

you might also remember that he had heard she works as an escort. She has been found on several websites. There is also facebook evidence of her behaviour the day after the alledged attack. It's of her inviting a male to come and 'f**k her'.

That does not mean that she was not raped - asking somebody to f**k her is not an invitation to rape. Bad character of the complaint is rarely allowed in and if it is, then that opens the door to the Crown bringing in anything that might reflect badly on the defendant.

He has text messages from her the following morning from her thanking him for looking after her once again (no mention of any distress or attack).

These should be used - hopefully the solicitor already has these.

Most of the posts on her facebook page on the days following the incident are sexually explicit.

Odd if she had been raped - could be helpful depending on what those posts say.

...his solicitor says they need something to explain why she was seen leaving the club in tears and in distress.

If she had already decided to make this a false allegation then it could have been an act. Or something else could have happened;upsetting call on her mobile or somebody upset her in the club......if you have witnesses who were at the club find out from them if or what they noticed just prior to her leaving.

[lifesnotfair]

Thank you Rightsfighter.

I wondered if it would be worth trying to trace the taxi driver who took her home but as it was back in January I'm not sure how far we'd get with that. I was already aware that her 'profession' would be inadmissable. The rest of the stuff we're on.

Thanks again.

[Rights Fighter]

Tell the solicitor (nicely!) that you want this driver found and interviewed

[largactyl1]

Hi.

All I can say is that none of the members can say that everything is gonna be ok or not
In my opinion you should tell him that you will be with him whatever happen, that's for sure.

Your help starts here.
Take sit with him and talk about evidences he have. Make him think how to defend if his case goes to the court.

I realise that in this way my mentality changed and to be honest I have found a lot of mew thinks which could push my accuser to make false allegations. And thanks to thinking about court I have found witnesses and many more thinks which could help me

You have to be strong and you should be the person who is motivating him to prepare for the wors. But make sure you do all you can to prove that he is innocent

I know that if someone tells you that everyting looks ok will make both of you feel better. But this is dangerous too, cos you will think that you don't need to do anything cos someone said that's everything looks ok.

Do your homework and go thrue everything you have against her!

Hi there, there is some good advice here - going through the whole time and before alleged assault as well as her behaviour afterwards is the way to go. Thinking of reasons as to why she would make up such a story also - does she have any past record of making false allegations?

I will diverge slightly from the advice given above...supporting someone who is going through this is tough I would say that it is important to remain positive, or just listen and not make any particular comment. I think the accused person in your life will have phases where he thinks of nothing apart from the negative and feel like he's bound to be sent down for a crime he did not commit.

Also, ensure that you have someone to talk to as well - even if it's just on here, supporting a loved one in this situation is very heavy work indeed. Is he getting any help from the GP with the stress he is under - if suicidal, not sleeping, bad thoughts etc are disrupting his life, then getting help is really important.

Kind regards
Jen

[lifesnotfair]

Hi Jen, thanks for the advice. You're right, supporting someone going through this is very tough and there are times when I need some guidance on what to say/do as well. She has made another allegation, against another doorman at the same club a few weeks before! He has lots of friends and family who are also supporting him and supporting me too. I do find this site very, very helpful, I wish I'd joined it as soon as he was arrested back in January. You certainly learn alot from it.

[gem]

try to stay positive

hi i can totally relate to your post , my son has been sentenced to 7 years, and i too have been trying to get as much info on his accuser as i can. i am obsessed with it now,i have found out loads about her, but i cant get anybody to make a statement about her, they all police haters .. every time me and my family visit my son in jail i cry when i go in, and i cry coming out . it is so hard to see our loved ones in tears and upset . ask him to apply for a job in prison it helps the days go faster, and when you visit tell him you are doing all you can to find out the truth..it also helps if he can go to the doc and ask for some anti depressants they are helping my son through it .i have noticed since he has a job he is coping a bit better. he has been on remand for 7 months and got sentenced Monday. he has 3 lovely girls and he not even allowed to write to him or send in a photograph.
i though we were alone in the world , but now i know their are really helpful people around on this site to support you in these very hard times.