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  • #31
    Nightmare

    I said to a police officer"My wife,she said that I raped her" and he just remembered "I raped her".There is a lot more than this but I am starting to be scared to post my story...I will try to let you know as much as I can...
    Just a few words for my son who will be 10 really soon:
    I MISS YOU ,I SWEAR,JUSTICE,JUSTICE JUSTICE.
    Non,je ne regrette rien.

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    • #32
      I feel for you. Whatever happens, I think it's important that you don't ever allow yourself to doubt of your complete innocence, human beings are social people and it can be hard sometimes to keep a clear mind when everybody around you keeps saying "guilty!". One can start to doubt that maybe he did something wrong, that maybe one does have some measure of guilt, maybe just 10%, maybe more... DON'T start thinking like that, it's only your brain trying to make sense of something too painful to be accepted rationally, that is a person you trusted and loved for years endeavouring to destroy your life for her personal advantage, without a thought. You did nothing, you and your child are the only victims (especially you, your child might live happily enough and grow up to despise you without ever knowing the truth, and you won't be allowed too many explanations I'm afraid), keep it in mind at all times.

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      • #33
        the downward spiral

        Thanks for your post Elwoodblues,you did put tears in my eyes.At the moment I am trying to get as many references possible,work or character.Some people will come to court if I let them know the date in advance.
        I just realised that when you are down in it you can really count your friends and when they know about the reason, they are scared to give references."I can give work reference but character?
        Do I really know you?"
        We worked more than 10 years together and suddenly my wife claims for rape when she's got someone else and doesn't have enough evidence against me to divorce...please,open your eyes!
        I just can't believe what mankind can do for money.I really miss my son ,I went to social services,called them,went to citizen advice bureau,and last court, to get some documents.
        My son can despise me as long as he wants, I will tell him the truth and the only truth,she was obsessed with money,cheated on me and when I realised this before the divorce she went mental.
        She does everything to avoid me to see him.I do not know what will be the end of this story but whatever happens I will do my best to keep in touch with all of you.
        I would be a child, I would question myself in the future.One mother has a nice house and everything including another "man" and the other (touch wood) has worked like a maniac during decades,went to court because his wife said that he raped her after more than ten years of marriage and he is struggling???
        I talked to a family member and we thought the same:I do think that my wife is afraid about me telling the truth to my son.
        Just once more to all of you.I SWEAR TO GOD,ON THE BIBLE AND ON MY LIFE AND MY SON'S THAT I DID MY BEST FOR THEM.I REALLY RESPECT ALL WOMEN AND I NEVER EVER FORCED NOR RAPED HER.
        Eveyone tells me:You must be strong,so I will fight for you MY SON.
        Last edited by Boys don't cry; 6 September 2011, 01:35 AM.
        Non,je ne regrette rien.

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        • #34
          Sorry for the delay!

          Next week will be the First hearing and I can't believe that.
          Last time I talked to the barrister and he asked me:
          -"Does your wife realise that you could end up into jail?"
          I answered:
          -"No"
          -"Do you think that she will remove her complaint?"
          -"No"
          All my friends can't believe it,after being married 11 years...
          Just one person of my family and colleagues know and I swear I told the truth.
          My solicitor said he was confident but it is her words against mine.
          It it Good against Evil.
          Please to all of you read the psalm 58.
          I really miss my son and I have actually applied to go to court to see him.
          I won't be a rapist,I'd rather be...
          Non,je ne regrette rien.

          Comment


          • #35
            .... fighting the charge.
            And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the world round .... and laughed and laughed and laughed ..

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            • #36
              Another way to say it!!!

              Thank you RFLH but you know what I meant,I am so tired after 6 months of fighting every week.
              Fighting against the rape allegation,fighting against divorce,fighting to see my SON,I applied to court after 3 different social services,one citizen advised bureau to try to see him after 6 months and saw another "husband" with a "leftover"baby,I should wake up and stop believing in Love.Fighting to try to sleep,welcome to the Fight Club.
              FIGHTING AGAINST LIES.
              So I will keep on fighting and fighting,sometimes I felt like someone used a spade or hammered my head every single week.
              I have a note on my fronthead written...
              But NO NO NO,My son You know the Truth

              Eve white,eve black by Siouxsie and the Banshees
              Last edited by Boys don't cry; 31 October 2011, 09:48 PM.
              Non,je ne regrette rien.

              Comment


              • #37
                never stop believing in love - sometimes you can't see it, but its always there in one guise or another.

                Keep venting here and it'll give you strength to carry on fighting. You are not alone.
                And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the world round .... and laughed and laughed and laughed ..

                Comment


                • #38
                  yep, we're all fighting various demons here. As individuals it's tough, but knowing there are others in the same boat gives you just that little bit of strength to see it through.

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    This is really her words against mine!

                    From what I heard from the solicitor
                    But I managed to read what my wife said and I can't tell to much but I am evil,and I don't know why I am still outside .I obviously am a sex beast and so on .She just destroyed me and is proud of it.She said something about my Son and God and for me they are equals but she is a cheating pitbull.Soon is my first hearing,all my friends and family believes in me even some of her family but I am so scared.Sorry to be a b....y foreigner as she said but when I read all this I just cry,cry,cry and think about my son.
                    You must be strong,you must be strong...but I am not and will never be.
                    I just wanted the best for my family and because of a ...I am absolutely...
                    From what I read she obviously wants me in but don't worry my son .DAD LOVES YOU AND WILL ALWAYS MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD,YOU ARE MY LIFE ,YOU ARE MY BLOOD,YOU ARE MY SOUL,YOU ARE MY WORLD :I MISS YOU SO MUCH.........I AM STILL FIGHTING TO SEE YOU AND WILL ALWAYS...I LOVE YOU.

                    Money,money ,money is the root of all evil.
                    Last edited by Boys don't cry; 7 November 2011, 01:43 AM.
                    Non,je ne regrette rien.

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Happy New Year to you all.

                      Sorry for the delay,next month my trial will start and I would like to give my best wishes and support to all of you.
                      Since May I still haven't seen my son and I should have gone to the other court the exact same date as I must go to Crown court.I decided that the set up of rape by my wife was more important because if I am free I will be able to see him.
                      All my friends are confident and do not believe this as I am still working and will until the last day.I missed him for Xmas and know that my wife will say that I didn't buy him any present but I tried to see him via solicitors and I know that my present would have been straight into the bin or she would have keep it for herself if it was valuable.
                      I didn't know it was a crime to love your wife,to have principles and respect towards marriage,to work 7 days a week for the welfare of your family,or maybe just to be a foreigner?.
                      Otherwise I am fine but so tired,SO TIRED, still in the rollercoster.
                      5 days trial,what to wear?
                      Can it be faster,I am sure it could if they can decide before???
                      Sometimes I wish I could meet some of you to share experiences but I supposed we would end up in a cuckoo's nest.
                      Happy new year 2012 to you and your families.
                      Non,je ne regrette rien.

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        hi Boys dont cry! First a big hug to you. Indeed five days for a trial is so long. Be strong and keep your head up as you are not guilty. I hope you can establish well the motives of your wife for doing this and that you have a good defense team on your side.

                        I can feel how tired you are few more weeks and hopefully you can get out of this trouble.

                        About what to wear, I think they wear suits.

                        which county are you from? maybe someone from the forum may want to meet you?

                        take care of yourself.

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          A smart suit if you can - look everyone in the eye, speak clearly, show emotion, hold your head up high.
                          And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the world round .... and laughed and laughed and laughed ..

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Good luck BDC, I will be thinking of you and sending positive thoughts.

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              All the best...

                              It's a hard time for you I know, your wife isn't thinking of you, so you MUST look after yourself.
                              I kept thinking all the way through my ordeal that ONE day she would come to her senses and stop the madness.
                              Months went by and nothing.

                              It was only after it was NFA'd that she came out of the woodwork and was quite willing to jump back into bed with me.
                              She sent txts telling me she was sorry for all the pain she'd put me through, a christmas card to her "husband" saying she wanted to spend every other xmas with me.

                              For 2 weeks we kidded ourselves that it never happenend (my ordeal)
                              She blamed everyone but herself and still is. She gidn't want to discuss it, but it's not something you can brush under the carpet.

                              Eventually we realised it was over, my friends and family couldn't understand why I was even giving her the time of day, let alone sleeping with her again.

                              BLOODY STUPID AND DANGEROUS!

                              Your wife has to live with what she is/has done to you, like mine.
                              That is her punishment.

                              Sorry for going off track, what I want to say is keep your head up, be strong.

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                3 weeks to go

                                Sorry but I won't tell you where I am from in case I go inside,I don't want any reprisal.
                                I have been to see my solicitor last week who asked me questions about my whole life.
                                My education,my employments,why did I come to England?.Did I meet some girlfriends before?How I met my "wife",from the first eye contact to the first kiss to the creation of our son to the rape allegation.
                                I saw dvds of her and the first one I would even feel sympathetic and the last one she seems to be normal.
                                He will play the tape from my interview with the police because I was devastated.
                                I really loved my wife and son and I can't believe what she would do for money.
                                She will appear in court but behind a tinted window not to see me.
                                Suits are ready.

                                Why has Daddy gone away?
                                And will he come home again one day?
                                How long will he stay in there?
                                I want my Daddy! It's not fair!
                                What's this place called Daddy's in?
                                And why do those ladies pat our skin?
                                What does that dog do that's always there?
                                I want my Daddy! It's not fair!
                                Who are those people with lots of keys?
                                I'm scared , can I go home now please?
                                Daddy! Come on now, get up from your chair!
                                But those men won't let you, it's just not fair.

                                I just found this on internet and it makes me cry so much,I don't want this.
                                Last edited by Boys don't cry; 24 January 2012, 08:49 PM.
                                Non,je ne regrette rien.

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