A negative post, help please

[Boys don't cry]

Thanks

I have an email from her lover and for me this represent gold.
I do try to find as well all my bank statements to show that since the end of last year we did a lot of work in the house .Plus she took 2000£ from the sale of my car just three month before the ...
I told the police that she wanted me to move and when I realised that she had a lover she was so angry against me.
One week before the allegation of rape she went to the police to complain against me (and she was smiling viciously).
One week after the"rape" she sent me the divorce papers and remove my name from the house insurance.
All this in 3 weeks...some people told me she knew what she was doing.
Make the house look better,take money from me and as soon as I found out the other one:Job done I'm out.
I hope the jury will think the same.
I don't think she realised the situation (or I hope not),she wrote to the CSA with her maiden name but if I go behind bars who will pay for my son.(I forgot the benefits:money is money).
But for the divorce I will have to give her half of my savings.I'll have to pay the solicitor and at the end I'll have nothing left (even less).I know you must show one year worth of bank statements???I'll see.
I swear cheated,divorce and charged of rape,sometimes I don't know why I don't feel 100%.

(The worse is that my"ex" wife is small and cute).Small but dangerous.
By the way thank you to all of you.

[LS]

Spend your savings on your solicitor. That way there's nothing for her to claim half of...

[Boys don't cry]

Urgent

Last week I went to the police station and as you are aware I must go to court next tuesday.
Is it too late to tell the police that I believe and know that my wife told me that next time we would have sex she would claim for rape.
I know I should have said it the 1st time but I was so shocked to be arrested.
My solicitor said that I should not contact the police but I really want to tell them this.
By the way I know at the end of this I will be probably in debt because solicitor for rape + solicitor for divorce=£££££.
I don't care I'd rather be innocent without money than rich and in jail.
What means charged?Some people told me that they have enough evidence against you,others that they just want to hear your story again.
Thanks for your help.

[marynarz]

reply

Last week I went to the police station and as you are aware I must go to court next tuesday.
Is it too late to tell the police that I believe and know that my wife told me that next time we would have sex she would claim for rape.
I know I should have said it the 1st time but I was so shocked to be arrested.
My solicitor said that I should not contact the police but I really want to tell them this.
By the way I know at the end of this I will be probably in debt because solicitor for rape + solicitor for divorce=£££££.
I don't care I'd rather be innocent without money than rich and in jail.
What means charged?Some people told me that they have enough evidence against you,others that they just want to hear your story again.
Thanks for your help.

Charged means that police decided to push the case to the court. It means that they have ''enough'' evidences to do this.
So now you have to prepare yourself. Think about any single detail how to prove that she lies. Talk to your solicitor etc.

We have on the forum more experienced members here so wait what they will tell you.

I cant tell you a lot cos im on bail until next week so dont know how does it look when you are charged.

[Rights Fighter]

Is it too late to tell the police that I believe and know that my wife told me that next time we would have sex she would claim for rape.
I know I should have said it the 1st time but I was so shocked to be arrested.
Thanks for your help.

The police will say "oh that's convenient you have only just thought this one up".

Even if you had told them this at interview they would have said "oh really? Where's the evidence of her saying this?"

Do you have such evidence (ie on a mobile phone)?

[Boys don't cry]

Evidence

Of course,so thank you darling.
My solicitor asked me if she wanted you out of the house,I answered"yes".
When I found out she had an affair she went mental,first telling me that he was just a friend but I knew she was lying.So since I know I have been charged I try to find bank details and bills to show the court that since the end of last year we had a lot to do in the house,new tiles ,new carpet,new car for Madame and one week before the "rape" she went to the police to complaint against me for things that apparently happened three years ago.The week after I "forced" her to have sex with me, 7 hours after she was with the police.The following week I had the divorce paper at work through the letter box,name removed from house insurance.Same month :mortgage payements cancel,CSA called.
It's been months I tried to see my son and today I had letter from divorce solicitor to tell me that if I want to see him I must go through court.I am gonna miss his 10 years old birthday:I am gutted.
First she told me "no",then "I don't know" and last "look I am all wet now!" and then you know what happened.
Everyone I told this story said that all was planned since months even more.
I just pray that I will be saved by this.I loved her and my family,worked 7 days a week and look at the result.
I don't know if she knew it would go this far.I need to be INNOCENT.It was a set up.
By the way thank you Rights Fighter.

[Boys don't cry]

Always on my mind

I swear psychologically I am destroyed.Cheat,divorce,rape, accident, charged...
I wrote to the police that there is nothing worse than a rapist for me exept a paedo.As the mother of my son I will always respect her.
I don't know what to say or type but I really loved my wife and children,I did my best for them but obviously it was not enough.I really respect all women and just hope that anyone in this forum and court will believe me.

[largactyl1]

Hi there, have you got loved ones to talk about everything with? Throughout Tony's ordeal before NFA (16 weeks in total) we discussed it over and over again, and aft6er the NFA we still discussed it as he still had so many different emotions as to how someone could do this and make a false allegation and essentially get away with it ( despite having accused 8 other men over the years).

It is a ghastly and revolting situation to be in. Tony felt physically dirty that such a heinous accusation could be levelled against him. Make sure that you DO talk about everything, even though you are likely to repeat it time and time again, it's better out than in. So much has happened to you and so quickly.

Have you been to see your GP? The stress generated by having this hanging over your head, and all the horrible emotions that go with it: despair, rage, hope, horror, helplessness etc are bound to have an effect on your emotional and mental health. If you find yourself awake at 3.00am then as well as coming on this forum (I for one am frequently up all night) do phone the Samaritans on :08457 90 90 90. They are very good - they can't give advice as such but they listen and they are there because they care about people. During the day you can contact your local Mind - they are good as they will generally find you counselling a lot quicker than the GP can - it maybe with a volunteer but is very useful for getting things sorted in your head - even temporarily, just to get a little rest from your head just going around and around and over and over every little part of what has happened.

Kind regards
Jen

[Boys don't cry]

Thank you

I already called the samaritans,I went to my Gp,I went to church.I swear you can't imagine.Everyone I talked to can't realise.I really appreciate all your help but I am underground.I really miss my son.
If there is really a justice I will be fine.
Since 5 months I feel someone is hitting my head with a hammer or spade,all the time.
Sometimes I feel I have enough evidence to say that she did set me up,Sometimes I think that they want to put me down.
I didn't force her I SWEAR TO GOD.

[largactyl1]

Hi, phone the Samaritans whenever you need to, even if you are repeating it all over and over. You are clearly tormented by all of this mate and I would suggest you phone now.

If everything gets too much and you feel suicidal then you can go to A and E and they can organise a mental health assessment. Have you been prescribed anti-depressants and/or sedatives to help you sleep. If not, return to the GP if you feel that things are getting worse. The despair you are in is very obvious and that feeling of wanting to knock yr head to get the thoughts out suggests you are becoming quite unwell. That coupled by you not sleeping and being in so much pain suggests you truly need to seek help and keep going back until you get some.

You must emphasise how bad everything is getting - get the help before you become so unwell you can't ask for help anymore as you don't realise how unwell you are becoming.

Kind regards
Jen

[RFLH]

I second what Largactyl says - you must do something now. There must be a Crisis Team where you are - ask your docor for their phone number. They will come out to see you daily.

Keep posting here - it does help to get all the thoughts out of your head.

[Boys don't cry]

Liar

She told the police that if she was talking to them I would commit suicide.I was so surprised and chocked,and on the tape they will hear "WHAT?".I've never said this and realised that she lied.I had a motorbike accident a bit more than a week after (and a few drinks),I do apologise and assume the consequences.I didn't drink enough to have points or anything.Just a one day course in a few weeks.I know I have been stupid but when you are alone (your family abroad),thrown out of the house with just a rucksack,after your wife cheated on you,wanted to divorce and wanted you out.Everyone told me:"stay in the house" but obviously it was not what she did desire.
I want to live to prove her wrong
I couldn't use the generosity of my friend and stay at his house for how long?
I asked via a solicitor to have a bike and a few suits,she put nearlly all my belongings in a lok n' store,like to say MOVE.
Now she is messing me about with my son I did contact 3 social services adviced by the divorce solicitor and yesterday I received a letter that I must go to court if I want to see him.
Don't worry my son one day you will know the truth.
I wanted to amend the divorce petition by removing 2 statements,one of them is to have force her to have sxual intercourse.She agreed and it would cost me 210£.
I told everyone "Bloody hell,if you forced me to have sex I would never ever remove it from anywhere".I will give this to the rape solicitor and show him that her statements have been crossed.
I shouldn't have any contact direct or indirect with her I just received an envelope at work with her writting on it (There were just bank statements in it),but why is she sending me something?:Another thing for the solicitor.
Thanks again to you all (and sorry if there are some spelling mistakes).

[elwoodblues]

don't let yourself be manipulated

I shouldn't have any contact direct or indirect with her I just received an envelope at work with her writting on it (There were just bank statements in it),but why is she sending me something?:Another thing for the solicitor.
Thanks again to you all (and sorry if there are some spelling mistakes).

She might be trying to appear "nice" so as to make you reply or otherwise try to contact her, which would worsen your position. She might be worried about your chances of defending yourself being above zero and therefore is trying to "soften" you preemptively. Please don't let yourself be fooled, this person is trying to send you to rot in jail. She will try to manipulate you using the charm she knows she still exerts on you.
Sorry for any english mistakes on my part as well, I'm not a native speaker either.
Good luck.

[Boys don't cry]

Court

Someone told me as well that she wanted to appear nice by sending me my post.I asked my solicitor and she is allowed to do so but nothing from me.
I did start to go to court and was surrounded by only women in the room.
It would have been in another context I would have been happy but not when I am accused of rape.
I can't tell too many details but I heard what my wife said about me,you can imagine that nothing was good and I felt like a perv.
I was surprised to have a good reference from someone of her family,at last something positive.This person gave me a clue that I hope I will be able to use in court to save my skin.Is it true that if they find out only one lie from her I will be saved?
Thanks to you all.

[Rights Fighter]

Hopefully you have a solicitor who is experienced in defending false allegations of rape - you can ask him or her these questions as they will have access to your case file. We do not so we can't say what may or may not save you.

Keep your best friends close as you will need their support.