A negative post, help please

[Boys don't cry]

This afternoon I have been to the police station where they charged me for the rape of my wife from 11 years.
I feel sick and scared.I explained everything to my solicitor .
I have been taped witout any and told the absolut truth.
I loved her and as she didn't want to be accused of adultery to the divorce ,she, I think set me up..
On the form it is written that "she did not consent and you did not reasonably believe that she was consenting".
I must go to court at the end of the month...

[largactyl1]

Hi there, this is such a traumatic time for you. Am I correct in thinking that you have been accused of a rape from 11 years ago - or is it that your wife of 11 years has accused you of a recent attack.

Have you written a comprehensive time-line of everything that occured around this time and thought thoroughly about the reasons for a false allegation of this type? Is it of particular religious significance that your wife does not want to be named as the "Baddie" in the divorce, or is it for monetary gain, social standing, something to do with custody of children/house/money etc which will benefit her from you being "responsible" for the breakdown of your marriage. I think it is really important to think it through from every angle and write it all down - and particularly the time of the alleged assault. Also it gives your brain something to focus on in your time of panic.

Have you got a solicitor who is experienced in these matters?

Best wishes to you at this time
Jen

[Boys don't cry]

Thanks for your support

I have been married with her for 11 years and I found out that she was cheating on me with a wealthy man,she then wanted to divorce.We hardly ever had sex and I was doing long hours to pay the mortgage +council tax...
She wanted a more important share of the house and after seeing a solicitor she refused to tell me what he said as I could use this to court against her.
I am not 100% sure that my solicitor is specialised in rapes but he is quite famous around here and the local press praises him.
I already wrote 8 pages about the whole story to him.

Thanks again.

[largactyl1]

Hi, looks like you are not sleeping - not surprising under the circumstances but if it continues do make sure you see your GP to get help with the stress you are under.
Best wishes
Jen

[Boys don't cry]

Sleeping???

Four months ago when the police arrested me I was sleeping around 4 hours a night.The first night I even went to my part time job and ended sleeping on a 3 jackets on the floor at work.
One evening I even had a couple of drinks as I was depressed and ended having a motorbike accident.
It's been 4 months that I don't leave,all my family is abroad and I only told a few people.They are all surprised that I have been charged.
On the charge sheet it is written it may harm my defence if I do not mention now something which I later rely in on court.
I thought that if I was telling something it would be turn against me so I didn't really understand and my solicitor is on holidays.I must appear to court on the 30th of this month for a short time then again later.
I wish I could post the whole story but I don't think I am allowed.
Our son will be 10 next month and I asked another solicitor that I needed to see him urgently.I didn't before because they told me that I had to see him in a center,now I don't care I must see him,the last day I did is when I was arrested.
But I cannot believe what my wife would do for money.

[Casehardened]

On the charge sheet it is written it may harm my defence if I do not mention now something which I later rely in on court.
I thought that if I was telling something it would be turn against me so I didn't really understand and my solicitor is on holidays.

This caution really applies for the initial police interviews before you are charged.

It might well be that the arrested person will reply 'no comment' to every question that is put (often on the advice of their solicitor) The prosecution will then be allowed to suggest to the jury that this silence when questioned is evidence of guilt.

If you answered all the police questions frankly and truthfully then they can't imply anything.

More significantly though, anything you did say may well be used against you in court; (Was your solicitor with you at the interviews as they would have ensured you answered the police questions appropriately)

largactyl1 has given some really good advice as what you should do now.

[Boys don't cry]

Interview

So I have been questionned on the day of my arrest without any solicitor and I told the abolut truth.
Yesterday I received the charge and my solicitor was on holidays.I managed to talk to him and the phone and he told me that I said everything the first time so I didn't have to reply.
I didn't really understand what the policeman mean when he told me that if I had something to say I should say it now.There were 3 police officers,I was upset as usual and just couldn't say anything.
In a way I wish I had talked against her but now I will have to express myself in court.

[Rights Fighter]

So I have been questionned on the day of my arrest without any solicitor and I told the abolut truth.


Yesterday I received the charge and my solicitor was on holidays.I managed to talk to him and the phone and he told me that I said everything the first time so I didn't have to reply.

Were you offered the use of a solicitor and if so did you say you wanted one?

How does the solicitor know for sure what you said in your first interview as he wasn't there? If you are re-interviewed then you simply ask for a solicitor and tell them that you will not answer any questions without one.

[Boys don't cry]

Solicitor

Yes the police offered me a solicitor but I decided to talk to mine.I didn't know that he was on holidays so I had him a few minutes on the phone.
I know that he will be present at the end of the month when I will appear to court.
Then he said; the case will be presented to Crown court.
I felt really stressed when I went to the police station and my english is not perfect even though I,ve been here 13 years and my"wife"is english.
The policeman who questionned me the 1st time said that I seem to be a good man so I answered "So why am I here?"
I know that my wife did set me up to have a more important share of the house after the divorce.
I am so scared.
Thank you all for your support and I hope that I will be interviewed again,this time with a solicitor.

[Boys don't cry]

Bad month to be charged

My solicitor is on holidays,the police officer who questionned me the first time and the one in charge.Who could I talk to?I should have said more the first day but I was so upset.
When I went back home in the evening to collect some belongings the policeman said your wife is so afraid.Sshe was really shaking and as soon as the policeman turned his head she was back to normal.
I was gutted.She said that I would commit suicide if she was talking to them,I was so surprised as I never said this and to see her shaking like this I expect the worse.
Please Rights Fighter could I email you my story to know what you are thinking about it?.
I would even go through a lie detector.
I feel sick and tired,no one to talk to.
When I realised she had an affair,she was so angry against me and wanted me out of the house asap.
I told this to the police and that she was just interested in money.

[RFLH]

sadly lie detectors aren't used to prove innocence.

[Boys don't cry]

Insane

3 hours sleep,6 hours sleep,12 hours work,4 hours sleep,I can't eat.No one to talk to,no one understand.I feel sick.Why did she do this to me.My son: I miss you so much cheeky bear.I cry,cry,cry.WHY???.Please GOD help me!!!I loved her,I paid so much,I worked like a horse for her,she cheated on me after 11 years,wanted to divorce and because I didn't want to go,...WWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYY??????????????????????????????????????????
Please someone help!

[RFLH]

only she knows the answer to that.

I know its easier said than done - but try to concentrate on you rather than her - you need to focus on yourself.

You're not on your own, you have this place and the people on it.

[neverending!]

Do not give up!

Are you in any position to obtain any old birthday cards, emails, letters from your ex? Things like this really helped me when somebody who accused me said they were scared and avoided me...then my barrister pulls out a long soppy greetings card written around the time I was being "avoided" - he might as well have stamped liar on her forehead. Try and get as much as you can no matter how insignificant you think it might be, no matter how much it is- it's better to have stacks of proof and not need it than to need it and not have it.

[marynarz]

Seriously this helps?

Are you in any position to obtain any old birthday cards, emails, letters from your ex? Things like this really helped me when somebody who accused me said they were scared and avoided me...then my barrister pulls out a long soppy greetings card written around the time I was being "avoided" - he might as well have stamped liar on her forehead. Try and get as much as you can no matter how insignificant you think it might be, no matter how much it is- it's better to have stacks of proof and not need it than to need it and not have it.

Seriously this helps?
In my situations together with the accuser I was texting. She even said that she loves my but we cannot be together. I don't know if that's important cos all of you are saying that I should hide my mobile from the police ( but they have it now anyway). She was texting me this messages after "rape"! And even she gets in to my car :-) So do you think it will helps me if police not gonna hide those messages IF they recovered all of them?