Allegations on FB

[Monday1510]

Hello

Im hoping for some advise.

My husband recieved a series of private messages on his Facebook profile overnight, making accusations about him, about an event that occured over 20 years ago.

My husband says that the accusations are completely false.

We took these messages to the police this morning and whilst waiting, the individual blocked my husband from her friends. The police are going to call the local police authority, the individual and members of her family to find out what has happened (we thought she might be drunk).

This individual is now in the late 30s (we think) and my husband has only been friends with her on FB for the last year, hasnt had much interaction with her on it or outside of it (as she is in another country).

We have also been to CAB to get some advice, however we have to wait a couple of days for an appointment with a solicitor and werent given any advice to take away.

My husband is distraught and doesnt have a clue what to do, he doesnt know if she has told anyone else these lies or since put anything up on her own public profile (as we can no longer see it)...he has no idea where these allegations are coming from. Should we wait to see what the police find out, and should she admit it was all a mistake is there anything we can.

Her last email stated that husband would pay for it and we would be hearing from her solicitor...which we just thought was odd (other than the whole situation being odd and stressful).

Any advise would be helpful, just to reassure my husband.

Many Thanks

[LS]

Oh dear, you may have a long wait to "see what the police find out."

They do not investigate the validity of accusations; they merely regard ALL accusations as true, and go all out to gather enough evidence to gain a more-than-51% chance of a conviction.

As far as they're concerned, your husband is guilty of an offence and will not be coming back to you to say that the other party made it up.

My advice would be to seek legal advice, and do nothing further viz the police, until and unless you hear from them.

[Saffron]

Our usual response to someone who has had false allegations made about them without police involvement is to do nothing. As LS says, going to plod and saying "this person has said I raped her/him" almost always ends like this: the police will interview the complainant and ask if s/he is willing to make a statement and press charges.

I don't want to scare you, but the police are not going to be investigating whether this woman has made a false allegation. They are going to be asking her whether she was raped and whether she wants to make a formal complaint.

Did you print off the messages? If you did and gave them to the police, please please keep a copy for yourself.

The fact that she had been FB "friends" with your husband for a year or so before she made the allegations is strange. Why suddenly send these private messages after a year? Perhaps you are right and she was drunk. Was there any consensual sexual contact between the two of them? Sometimes a false accuser will "build" the rape in their mind and over the course of time, come to believe that their version is the true version, ie: they have convinced themselves that they were actually raped or sexually assaulted. 20 years is plenty of time for her to convince herself of "Victim" status.

I also suggest that you do some research into a really good solicitor. Make sure you look for one who is experienced at successfully defending false allegations of sexual assault. A standard criminal sol will not be good enough.

Of course, you might not need a solicitor at all, I hope you don't. But it's a good idea to have one lined up, just in case you need them.

Good luck.

[RFLH]

"This individual is now in the late 30s (we think) and my husband has only been friends with her on FB for the last year, hasnt had much interaction with her on it or outside of it (as she is in another country)."

can you clarify if your husband has ever met her as you say she's in another country.

[Monday1510]

info as requested...

We took a printout of the messages to the police as we thought it was the right thing to do as they are false.

We kept copies and I saved a pdf version.

My husband would have been a teenager (no older than 15 he thinks) when she says this happened (he is now in early 40's). Since leaving the country he has since her one (last year) in a shopping centre, just said hi, nothing more other than being a friend on fb (no other direct messaging between them).

Didnt happen here, happened in other country...does that mean anything....

[LS]

Yes it does. If her allegation originates from an event in another country than it means the uk lot have no jurisdiction.
Meaning you have a better chance of being investigated fairly if it goes that far.

[Monday1510]

The alleged event happened in xxxxxx and the person making the allegation still lives in the ROI.

Does this mean that any investigation would be lead by the xxxxxx police, and any subsequent action taken by them? Or would the police here act on their behalf.

Just another note we were considering taking a holiday to xxxxxx in August, is this advisable at this time.

[LS]

Usually it goes on where the offence occurred. So yes, in theory it would be their police dealing with it.

[Rights Fighter]

We took a printout of the messages to the police as we thought it was the right thing to do as they are false.

We kept copies and I saved a pdf version.

My husband would have been a teenager (no older than 15 he thinks) when she says this happened (he is now in early 40's). Since leaving the country he has since her one (last year) in a shopping centre, just said hi, nothing more other than being a friend on fb (no other direct messaging between them).

Didnt happen here, happened in other country...does that mean anything....

Please take a screenshot as anything that can be edited (as in in a pdf or Word doc) may not be admitted as credible evidence.

[Monday1510]

I have spoken to the police this morning and they have no updates for us as yet.

My Husband is considering travelling to xxxxxx and speaking to the police over there, it this advisable?

I appreciate that my husband's situation isnt as awful as other posters on here, but I can barely function, I just feel sick and its dealing with the unknown.

Thank you to everyone who has sent messages so far with advice and guidance, good to know there are people behind you.

[LS]

As said previously, it is not the wisest move to stir up a hornet's nest. Be aware that should he go there and speak to them, they may be more aware of the situation and realise that it may be more advantageous (for them) to arrest him there and then and try to get him held in the country by remand until a charging decision could be made.

In other words, if he must go there, go quietly. Have a holiday.
But don't rock any boats or stir any nests. (Avoid the police.)

[Monday1510]

Thank you, I did think that.

As I rule should we be in contact with the police here, for example should we call again on Monday (for any updates) or should we leave it for them to contact us.

[LS]

No. What I've been saying all along is the more you make the police aware of the accusation, the more they'll regard it as an active allegation and treat it as "live."

Avoid contacting them altogether. Unless you want them to proceed with a rape case against your husband.

[Rights Fighter]

No. What I've been saying all along is the more you make the police aware of the accusation, the more they'll regard it as an active allegation and treat it as "live."

Avoid contacting them altogether. Unless you want them to proceed with a rape case against your husband.

I reiterate this 101%. I've known people go to the police after they have heard on the grapevine that they are being accused of something nasty. The police have then set up an "investigation" and the next thing we know they are in court.

Often false allegations are made casually for a variety of reasons - to get attention or just to throw weight around. All too often somebody else sticks their beak in fully believing the lie and they approach the police themselves "on behalf of the complainant".

This sets the whole thing in motion and before you know it the accused is in a police cell being interviewed about something that never happened.

What you choose to do is entirely up to you. But the advice from those in the know is - leave the police out of it.

[LS]

I would just add that just having an accusation like this levelled against you can really disrupt your life.

Having the police investigate you for an accusation of rape involves being arrested, and bailed for many many months. This alone can turn friends and employers against you, and in some lines of work it can end up in immediate suspension.

And that's without being charged or getting to a trial and being acquitted.