i dont know what to do

[tc29]

i need advice
at the moment my ex hustband is on remand for rapeing my daughter, the problem i am having is i really dont think he did it there are members of my family and friends that just simply dont belive it i need to try and be fair to both my daughter and him how can i do this and be supportive to them both at the same time i have to wait 6wks to find out if theres any dna so at the moment every p[art of me is saying no he has not did this but iv always been told never say naver i would be very greatfull if you would all give me your advice

[largactyl1]

Hi there, I'm so sorry that you are going through this trauma which is not of your own making. It must be awful to be 100% caught in the middle of a rock and a hard place. I'm afraid I have no real suggestions other than to try and take care of yourself until you know more.

Take Care
Jen

[Bigsister]

What an awful situation to be in. It's somethig I have thought of before & how terrible it must be to support both of them at the start & feel torn.
All I can think is I would try my best to be a big support to the daughter, because it either happend & is terrible for her, or it hasn't really happened & obviously something is very wrong for her to say something like it.
But it's really an impossible situation to be in. And just hope those tests hurry up & come back. And just maybe then you will find out more facts.
xxx

[topgun79]

hope things move quickly for you.

What an awful situation to be in. It's somethig I have thought of before & how terrible it must be to support both of them at the start & feel torn.
All I can think is I would try my best to be a big support to the daughter, because it either happend & is terrible for her, or it hasn't really happened & obviously something is very wrong for her to say something like it.
But it's really an impossible situation to be in. And just hope those tests hurry up & come back. And just maybe then you will find out more facts.
xxx

I agree with the above but be open and honest with your ex-husband as well, tell him you are struggling with all this and you really want him to be found innocent. But tell him your daughter needs you as well and you need to care for her at the moment and if it is proven he is innocent you will need to continue supporting her in the future as she must have some serious mental health problems.

If you just support your daughter and dont tell him and he is found innocent, he may show resentment towards you and possibilly wont help you with your daughter.

Stay strong and look after yourself otherwise you wont be able to help any of them

[fighter]

Sorry to hear about your situation. It is a double challenge. I have not much advise on this also; but really hoping things will move faster and you will know more. I would say be supportive of your daughter but also observe her. Only because, I have seen in other threads there were cases where girls are influenced by other people or would be motivated to make these allegations particularly if they got into arguments with their father or stepfather.

This is definitely an awkward situation; but try to keep an open mind; be observant and yet offering support. Try to keep on checking on the posts, more advises will be coming in. Stay strong!

[Rights Fighter]

All good advice so far. All you can do really is to sit on the fence and wait for the DNA results to come back.

[Casehardened]

tc29 only made one post in May 2011 asking for advice but unfortunately didn't leave an email address.

Unless she revisits the forum she may not see these replies.

[Rights Fighter]

Well spotted Sherlock - I hadn't noticed that!

I have a good excuse - I am busy packing and finishing off stuff as I am off to attend a funeral. Travelling tomorrow morning and back Friday evening so don't expect any post from me! That means you Jamie pain-in-the-bum G too!

[fighter]

Have a safe trip,RF. We will definitely miss you! :-)

[Rights Fighter]