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  • partner accused

    Hello all. I have been lurking for the past two weeks since my boyfriend of two years (and the man whose baby I'm carrying for 20 weeeks) was arrested on suspicion of rape.

    He drives a cab and picked up this young woman after a party and drove to halls of residence at her uni. He called me during this drive to find out where this particular uni was, since she was too drunk to know where she was going. Apparently the next day she had discovered bruises on her thighs, and decided she must have been raped and it must have been the cab driver who dunnit.

    He was arrested about a month later, and is now out on bail. My first question: he has to report to a police station every day within an hours window - is that standard?

    If I just pick out a guy at random who for example get off at the same bus stop as me, follow him back so I know where he lives and report him for rape the day after - is that all it takes for him to be arrested / put under investigation? Or what other evidence do they need? Im wondering if the bruises and her suspicion of rape (she's not sure) is enough, or if they would have had to find evidence of intercourse when they examined her? Even though the intercourse could have happened at any time during the evening.

    This daily reports at the police station is gonna go on until the beginning of July, when I understand the police should have finished their investigation and let us know if they wont take it further (NFA?) or if we're going to court. Is this usually how it goes? Or could they extend the bail period?

    If they decide on the NFA, is this when we can go on and report her for false accusation? Or am I right in thinking that he has to be completely cleared, like a "No Crime" status? If so, what is the process of going from NFA to No Crime?

    Its the idea of revenge that keeps me going for sure, so its very important that we are able to take her to court when this is done.

    I know it might seem naive to assume that it will be a NFA, I'm not - but I am trying to stay positive and I can't think of the possibility of a trial. Right now that would just destroy me.

    And, in the case of an NFA - does she get some sort of imunity: could I contact her or would that be a crime? I don't mean to threaten or harrass her of course, I just really would like to find out what drives her. Surely, it can't be illigal to ask?

    Are there any women that have falsely accused men of rape who have given their story? I have read plenty of stories from rapists, should be some stories from the women who lie about it, just that I can't find any...?

    Thanks for everyone's stories. Its made me feel we're not alone.

  • #2
    Hi there, sorry to welcome you to this site as the circumstances are of course awful

    I don't know many answers to your questions but there will be more experienced people along.

    In answer to your question about accusing any bloke of rape and it getting fully investigated, basically the answer is yes.

    Bail dates not being kept to? Almost certainly I'm afraid.

    Take to court - have to persuade the police that she was wasting police time etc - the crime is seen as being done to the police (ie wasting their time). At this time there seems to be no way of getting her done for a false allegation. You can get your MP involved in order to ensure everything is done properly I think. Other people have done this to ensure thant they can get it "No crimed" instead of NFA, as NFA does apparantly show up on and ECRB check - but not the normal one. I think this is the case anyway. As I have said - I'm not as experienced as many people here.

    I hope this is of some use for now

    Kind Regards
    Jen
    False Accusers Beware: You have chosen to dine at the Karma Cafe. There is no menu: you will just get what you deserve.

    Comment


    • #3
      Hi there,

      I guess your emotions are in a bit of a turmoil, one day everything is going ok then the next, bang.

      Perhaps it's best to take it one step at a time & first of all concentrate on getting the matter dropped.

      It does seem odd that your boyfriend has to report in every day, it's almost as if he police thought he is likely to disappear, does he have family or any other connections abroad? However it does give him the opportunity to put forward anything that may persuade the CPS to drop the case.

      Just as an example, the distance from the place where he picked the girl up to the hall of residence will take a certain amount of traveling time; if there is some way of verifying (CCTV, message to/from taxi office?) what time the girl got into his cab and when she got out of it, it may show that there was no window of opportunity.

      If you both sit down and talk it through you may well think of something, far better to get a NFA than have to defend in court.

      As for getting revenge after the NFA, as Jen says, the only way is if the police will take it on. I guess he could sue her for loss of earnings due to the inconvenience of having to report in, which will bring all the facts out, but he would have to fund this himself with no guarantee of success.
      'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

      Comment


      • #4
        Thank you both.

        It really makes me feel sick that its not a crime to put a person thru this / only crime is waste of police time. Its the police that choose to take this seriously! The girl was too drunk to remember anything about her night out, how can you report something on that basis and be taken seriously...

        Unfortunately, because she kept giving different addresses as she was too drunk to know where she was going and he kept driving around looking, there would have been plently of time for this to happen. Just... it didn't.

        Casehardened, he has never been in any trouble with the police before, and have no connections abroad so shouldn't be considered a flight risk... I guess it could have something to do with there being some uncertainty about his address? When you say that reporting that often gives "him the opportunity to put forward anything that may persuade the CPS to drop the case" - do you mean he should actually talk to them about the case when he goes to report? I thought he is not supposed to say anything without solicitor?

        I know its not healthy but I keep going thru her facebook profile... looking at all the stupid groups she's in - mostly about loving getting really drunk, being really drunk, and doing stupid things when drunk. Some racist (or "I'm not racist but...") and my partner is a black man. Its amazing how much hate I have for this person who I don't even know...

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by catattck View Post
          Casehardened, he has never been in any trouble with the police before, and have no connections abroad so shouldn't be considered a flight risk... I guess it could have something to do with there being some uncertainty about his address? When you say that reporting that often gives "him the opportunity to put forward anything that may persuade the CPS to drop the case" - do you mean he should actually talk to them about the case when he goes to report? I thought he is not supposed to say anything without solicitor?
          Hi again,

          You quite right in that he shouldn't say anything to the person on the desk; I meant if there was something he could think of which would indicate that he couldn't have done it, he could request another interview with the OIC to put this forward.

          OTOH other folks on here would suggest not giving any conflicting evidence to the police at all, but to save it for the defence should it get as far as that; it's a judgement call really.
          'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by catattck View Post
            I know its not healthy but I keep going thru her facebook profile... Its amazing how much hate I have for this person who I don't even know...
            Hi Catattck

            I have been exactly where you are now. In fact I still google her occasionally....seven years on....very unhealthy obssessive behaviour. I actually bumped into her at Euston station a few months ago, which was very weird....walked straight past her and almost passed out! She doesn't know what I look like because in court she hid behind her screens, but I know what she looks like. By the time I had summoned up the courage to go and talk to her, she had got on her train.

            I look at her FB page too, and ironically she lists The Shawshank Redemption as one of her favourite films! The hypocrasy is breathtaking.

            Your partners bail conditions are unusual. Have you thought about talking to his sol and explaining that reporting every day is just unfeasible for him? His sol might be able to get better bail conditions for him.

            Depending on when she reported the alleged attack, there may be forensic evidence (or lack of it) to clear him. Even if she had sex with someone else then his DNA won't be present and he should be cleared.

            Stay strong. When you feel like looking at her FB page, go and do something else. Go for a walk, do some housework etc.

            Glad you found us

            Comment


            • #7
              Hi and sorry you've joined us but welcome.
              When did this girl report the alleged offence? Because if it was the morning after the alleged event then the police should have DNA and therefore it should be simple to rule out your partner as a suspect? I assume this is not the case as the police would have sorted this by now, but with police being as rubbish ad they are in these cases maybe it hasn't been checked?
              The bail condition seems crazy, I agree with saffron that the sol should attempt to have this changed. I'm assuming your in England?
              Keep positive

              Comment


              • #8
                We're both confused about this - she reported it the next day so yes - there should be DNA right? But I don't actually think they are sure that she even had sex that night - she just found these bruises on her thighs and assumes rape. Because if there had been evidence of sex, there would have been DNA (even if whoever she had sex with used a condom?) and so my partner would be let off. But it seems like there is no evidence, so thats why he's still on bail. Thats whats so insane - she doesn't know if it happened, and if there is no evidence - then how can this be under investigation. What are they investigating?!

                They took hs DNA two weeks ago so should really be sorted by now... but can always hope they're just being slow and that they will get around to cross checking any records from her eximination soon.

                Interesting about the bail condition not being standard.. Will get on to solicitor tomorrow. Its been two weeks tho.. he should know its not standard and tried to get it changed already - we shuldn't have to ask for it if its not right. Maybe need to switch solicitor...

                Yes - we're in England / London.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hi again catattck,
                  I meant to say that I believe you "getting if the bus" scenario is correct. It seems you can claim rape with no evidence, just a statement and yes the guy will go though this awfull ordeal! Crazy isn't it?

                  Ref your Q about admitting falsly accusing men of rape admissions there are quite a lot. I found some well documented cases on y..tube take a look. One women did it to hide an infidelity which is what happened to me. She confessed after the guy had served four years of his sentence because she felt guilty! However the guy served another year because the authorities refused to believe her when she said she was lying! They just wouldn't admit a mistake! She actually had to get herself imprisoned for lying about it before he was released! It's just amazing. And how many women would go that far to right the wrong? Good on her, but it was all a bit late in my opinion.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Hello again. Have been trying to live a normal life the past year, trying to not think about this as the first bail period turned into a 2nd... and 3rd... and 4th...and 5th... as police "were waiting for forensic evidence". Today we found out that charges has been dropped! I am so happy.

                    Not sure about the technicalities of this, if she dropped the charges or if its an NFA, I'm out of the country and only spoke to my partner briefly, he has asked to get the investigation / information sent out, but those were the words the solicitor used "charges dropped".

                    Thinking forward, I would like to take her to court over this (financial loss, loss of earnings, suffering...), will see a solicitor when I'm back, hope we can do something. If not I would like to print posters with her picture and the whole story and put up around where she works. Will speak to legal advisor first tho... make sure it does not count as harrasment. See how it goes.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Wonderful news, I am so pleased for you. You will both be experiencing varying emotions I'm sure as each day passes. I imagine he is looking forward to your return so you can celebrate this victory together. Wishing you every happiness and congrats again. xxxxxx

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        You have both been in limbo for a long time! It's great that he got the right result in the end

                        As for what happened, it will have been the CPS who 'dropped the charges', the OIC might tell you why, or your partner's solicitor may be able to find out. Either the woman admitted to the police that she was 'mistaken' or the CPS decided they had little hope of winning the case.

                        While I understand and sympathise with your wish for some kind of remedy, I fear that, if it was the latter reason, this will be both difficult and expensive.

                        The posters are an interesting idea (as long as no-one sees you putting them up!)
                        'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Thank you! Yeah, we'll see what, if anything, can be done on the legal route - I feel that if we can spend a couple of grand and get something for it it would be worth it. If its more, and little chance of it working, I'll look in to other options. The posters would be good... but at least I'll need to contact her and tell her what she has done.

                          We had a son in October - Dad had to leave us at the hospital when he was born to go sign in at the police station. After a couple of months on the first bail period, they did change the bail conditions from signing in every day within an hours window to signing in 4 times a week within two hours window, so its been really difficult to live a normal life.

                          Assuming that, because charges are dropped - my partner will be able to request his DNA profile to be deleted from police records?

                          Onwards and upwards. Thanks again for well wishes! Hope others who are waiting will have simular good news.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I would be very wary of taking this kind of action. It may attract further trouble at a time when you should be trying to move on with your lives.

                            Unless the person has admitted she lied, you won't get much success from pressing charges/sueing...and it will cost a bomb to boot.

                            As tempting as it is, I worry that you will only get limited satisfaction from putting posters up. And it may count as harassment or inciting harassment.

                            The best revenge you can take is to rise above it, be happy with your man and show that this ordeal has not beaten you.

                            Are you a mum now?
                            "Be sure your sin will find you out"

                            Numbers 32:23

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              We appear to have posted at the same time! Congratulations on the birth of your son

                              You have a family to think of now. I strongly reccommend that you do not get in touch with this woman. She is clearly a dangerous individual.
                              Concentrate on the fact that you have what she will unlikely be able to hold down...a loving man and a beautiful child. THAT is your revenge.

                              DNA records are unlikely to be removed if your partner has been NFA'd. Youshould get written confirmation on whether he has been given an NFA (No Further Action) or NC (No Crime)
                              The two are significantly different and a NC is only really likely if there is a confession or other hard proof that the complainant lied.

                              It does sound as it it has just been dropped by the CPS due to insufficient evidence which will result in an NFA.

                              I therefore would advise that legal action against the complainant will be fruitless as the counter-argument will be...well there's no proof that she lied.

                              Your anger is understandable, as is your desire to get justice....but in the long run it may bring you more unnecessary stress.

                              Sorry if this isn't what you want to hear. But embrace the positives...the ordeal with the police is over and you can now look to the future as a family. And you got through those long long months together, as a strong unit.
                              "Be sure your sin will find you out"

                              Numbers 32:23

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