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Hello all,
I really need some advice as my head is spinning and my anxiety levels are sky high.
After a six year relationship I left my previous girlfriend for another woman which was just over a year ago now.
During the last year my ex girlfriend has bombarded me with texts and phone calls attempting to get back me, the calls and texts varied from being friendly to being nasty quite erratically, then came the infamous "my period is late" and then she made several attempts to kill herself, phoning me whilst very drunk telling me she doesn't want to live anymore, that i've destroyed her life and that she's going to kill herself, I immediately phoned the police when these calls came through and they picked her up every time by tracing her mobile and she has been in and out of a mental unit for several months she had slit her wrists quite badly on several occasions and taken overdoses etc.
anyway, all these phone calls and texts suddenly stopped about 2 months ago and I thought, "is she finally getting over it?"
Then on Tuesday of this week I was awoken with heavy thudding at the door, it was the police, my initial thought was that something had happened to my parents, i even invited them in for a brew etc, anyway they were here to arrest me on suspicion of rape of a women aged 16 or over, my mouth dropped and I was in total shock, i'd never so much has had my name taken by a police officer before never mind been arrested.
I was interviewed and bailed to reappear at the police station in late August and given a lift home by CID.
I was given a duty solicitor who didn't seem to care very much, (yawning throughout the interview) who told me after the interview that it sounded like a load of nonsense, that i have nothing to worry about and that i'll probably get an NFA through the door before August. he also said that it was odd to wait nearly 3 months to arrest me after the allegation was made and then give me a lift home too.
Anyway as you can imagine, i'm worried sick, I haven't a clue what to do and cant believe i'm going to have to wait until august to hear anything, i've already lost my appetite and had to take time off work, I really dont know how i'm going to cope for 3 months!
It hasn't helped reading all the stories of innocent men going to jail because a Girl was angry about them leaving.
And interesting point to make, having been told the definition of rape (penetration of mouth, vagina or anus), that my ex girlfriend suffered from Vagismus which is a clamping of the vagina preventing penetration, we worked around that through our relationship, she used to beat herself up about it but i made sure i reassured her that everything was ok and we stuck to fore play as our "sex"
Basically her medical records will show her vagismus issue and should prove that we never had penetrative sex, so by the very definition of rape can this even go ahead?
Thank you for reading that, any help will be greatly appreciated, if you need more info please ask.
Kind regards.
anonymous (for obvious reasons)
I really need some advice as my head is spinning and my anxiety levels are sky high.
After a six year relationship I left my previous girlfriend for another woman which was just over a year ago now.
During the last year my ex girlfriend has bombarded me with texts and phone calls attempting to get back me, the calls and texts varied from being friendly to being nasty quite erratically, then came the infamous "my period is late" and then she made several attempts to kill herself, phoning me whilst very drunk telling me she doesn't want to live anymore, that i've destroyed her life and that she's going to kill herself, I immediately phoned the police when these calls came through and they picked her up every time by tracing her mobile and she has been in and out of a mental unit for several months she had slit her wrists quite badly on several occasions and taken overdoses etc.
anyway, all these phone calls and texts suddenly stopped about 2 months ago and I thought, "is she finally getting over it?"
Then on Tuesday of this week I was awoken with heavy thudding at the door, it was the police, my initial thought was that something had happened to my parents, i even invited them in for a brew etc, anyway they were here to arrest me on suspicion of rape of a women aged 16 or over, my mouth dropped and I was in total shock, i'd never so much has had my name taken by a police officer before never mind been arrested.
I was interviewed and bailed to reappear at the police station in late August and given a lift home by CID.
I was given a duty solicitor who didn't seem to care very much, (yawning throughout the interview) who told me after the interview that it sounded like a load of nonsense, that i have nothing to worry about and that i'll probably get an NFA through the door before August. he also said that it was odd to wait nearly 3 months to arrest me after the allegation was made and then give me a lift home too.
Anyway as you can imagine, i'm worried sick, I haven't a clue what to do and cant believe i'm going to have to wait until august to hear anything, i've already lost my appetite and had to take time off work, I really dont know how i'm going to cope for 3 months!
It hasn't helped reading all the stories of innocent men going to jail because a Girl was angry about them leaving.
And interesting point to make, having been told the definition of rape (penetration of mouth, vagina or anus), that my ex girlfriend suffered from Vagismus which is a clamping of the vagina preventing penetration, we worked around that through our relationship, she used to beat herself up about it but i made sure i reassured her that everything was ok and we stuck to fore play as our "sex"
Basically her medical records will show her vagismus issue and should prove that we never had penetrative sex, so by the very definition of rape can this even go ahead?
Thank you for reading that, any help will be greatly appreciated, if you need more info please ask.
Kind regards.
anonymous (for obvious reasons)
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