Dont know whats happening

[Casehardened]

Hi again,

Thanks for your kind words, it's gratifying for all the members who contribute to this forum when we do make a difference to someone's frame of mind.

To answer your last query, look at it from the police point of view.

They interviewed the woman as a result of her making a complaint as they obviously have to; no way of telling whether it is genuine or false until they talk to her.

As a result of the interview (or her backing off) they decided not to take it any further and, as you mentioned, did not contact you to tell you of the accusation, presumably because there was no substance to it.

Unless he had told me as far as the police are concerned i have know knowledge of any complaints that may or may not have been made about me.

After all it wouldn't really have been very helpful to come round and knock on your door: "Evening mate, we nearly arrested you for rape, but don't worry, it's now been dropped"

I fully understand your anger, but don't take it out on the police they're between a rock and a hard place, the blame for your crisis lies squarely with the woman and your ex-manager.

You may find it helpful to stick around here for a bit longer as your emotions will take a while to settle down.

[michaelanguso]

I'm awestruck by some of the advice you've had on here. Like you, I'd no idea about any of this stuff.
I agree with your feelings about the police, though.
Don't you get the impression the police love it in the same way as they enjoy a good car-chase? Hell! I would, if I'd ever seen myself as police material. They know damn fine that they are following idiotic proceedures but at least they get to play a starring role in your life-drama with only the skills they've acquired from watching telly!

[felix]

I think you could consider going to the police and asking if you are under investigation. You could not be criticised for turning up at the front desk of your local station and asking specificially whether a complaint has been made of rape by X against you and what is happeninbg.

[Saffron]

I would urge you not to contact the police. If you turn up at a copshop and say "Excuse me, but can you tell me if an allegation of rape has been made against me" all hell could break loose.

If this sorry excuse for a woman has not reported the alleged rape, the police will almost certainly begin an investigation anyway.

My gut feeling is the same as Bigsister's...if the "attack" had actually been reported, then regardless of how flimsy her statement was you would almost certainly have been arrested and questioned. The police would probably have come to your home to seize bedlinen and to conduct a forensic examination of the room where the sex took place. They have to do this as a matter of course, because the allegation is a recent one, not a historic one.

Sometimes in historic cases (ie: when the alleged attack took place months or years ago) there can be a delay between the complaint being made and an arrest happening. However in your case it was a matter of a few days between sex and allegation.

Your manager says the accuser was interviewed at work - that sounds highly suspect to me. For such a serious accusation, most police forces will videotape an interview with a complainant, in a specialist rape suite with comfy sofas and a counsellor on hand. At the very least they will tape-record it.

This whole thing sounds very strange to me. Your manager tells you that a colleague has made a complaint of rape against you, that the complainant was interviewed at work and taken for a medical exam, and that you must hand in your notice with immediate effect. Yet you hear nothing from the police for 4 months, and you are still waiting....I think that someone is leading you a merry dance.

Did you previously get on well with your manager? Would there be any reason why your company would want to get rid of you? Was the company in difficulty? Just a thought....sounds like a very straightforward way of getting rid of an employee without having to pay any redundancy...

[Rights Fighter]

I would urge you not to contact the police. If you turn up at a copshop and say "Excuse me, but can you tell me if an allegation of rape has been made against me" all hell could break loose.

If this sorry excuse for a woman has not reported the alleged rape, the police will almost certainly begin an investigation anyway.

Absolutely correct. I've sat opposite guys in prison on a legal visit who did exactly that as they thought it would show they had nothing to hide. Wrong move. Don't do it.

[felix]

I apologise for giving wrong advice; I stand corrected but am horribly shocked by what you guys have said. One more nail in the coffin for respect for the police.....

[Saffron]

Felix, please don't worry about it. Most sane people would think that would be the best course of action. Unfortunately some of us have put our faith in the Justice System adn now know better. I wish we didn't!

Felix, please rest assured that your support is highly valued!

[Verity]

Felix, yours was the first thought an innocent person thinks and it is a natural and instinctive response.

It is a shame the advice has to be, "dont do it", and that it has been painfully learnt by so many folks who had faith in the 'system'.
People who have never had dealings with the system are oblivious to how things have changed and that being innocent is the most dangerous position to be in.

Those who are regular 'customers' of the system know how to play it, in many cases, to their advantage.
Arrest and custody is seen as an occupational hazard and these people are on first name terms with the custody staff.
Would you believe, just before they are released on bail to repeat their behaviour, they are given a 'customer satisfaction questionairre' to complete in regard to their experience whilst in custody.
What has stood out for me as far as my knowledge extends from asking men who have had the custody experience, is not one of them has been given this questionairre to complete. (Unless someone knows of someone who has).

My question is why not, surely the feedback from 'first timers' would be invaluable, politically correct and fulfil the diversity criteria? (Gotta go to the loo, just about to wet my knickers laughing!)

It seems the lying, repeat offending scroats get premier treatment, but God help you if you are a law abiding victim falsely accused.

[michaelanguso]

I spent over 50 hours in a custody cell. There's no question my treatment there was part of my interrogation. I was left to freeze with no shoes on and nothing to eat for hours. The social isolation was the cruellest thing.
I'll probably cry about it at some point but first things first...

[Casehardened]

Those who are regular 'customers' of the system know how to play it, in many cases, to their advantage.
Arrest and custody is seen as an occupational hazard and these people are on first name terms with the custody staff.
Would you believe, just before they are released on bail to repeat their behaviour, they are given a 'customer satisfaction questionairre' to complete in regard to their experience whilst in custody.

It seems the lying, repeat offending scroats get premier treatment, but God help you if you are a law abiding victim falsely accused.

Very good point, it is an open secret that the police prefer to go out and arrest an alleged sex offender in preference to say, drug dealers, as they are by and large, polite and co-operative.

As you rightly say they don't know the system, after all what real criminal would even get in the police car before arranging for his solicitor to meet him at the station, he certainly wouldn't consent to an interview without legal advice.

Alleged sex offenders are also less likely to make an official complaint about their treatment at the hands of the Criminal Justice System, they are ashamed enough about being arrested so as to not want to draw any more attention to themselves.

Unfortunately some officers will take advantage of this attitude, my cynicism suggests that if alleged sex offenders were as likely to be as heavily defended (in both senses of the term) as drug dealers, any complaints would be investigated much more thoroughly before an arrest took place.

[jamesthemug]

Hey guys!

Again, thankyou for all of the advice you have been giving me! To be honest im not sure if my boss would have had any other motives to get rid of me, we never got on particularly well but there was no real resentment there, he may of thaught i was a little lazy but thats about it to be honest. But im not sure if ive said in earlia posts but there was a witness asleep in the other room at the time we had sex, and (going against all advice i got given off my friend) i got into contact with him because i just couldnt take the stress and needed to talk to him in an attempt to find out what was happening. When i spoke to him he said the police had spoke to him and asked him where he was and who he was with on the night but that was all, no formal interview or anything. So i'm guessing that means she has spoken to the police but they havnt interviewed him or me? Does this give any of you any more ideas what could be going on?

I'm starting to get a little of my confidence back after coming on here and speaking to you guys, i just realy dont want to be living in false hope, its like im scared of feeling comfortable in my relationship with my wife and my life in general because i think as soon as im comfortable ill have it taken away from me.... All this for a stupid affaire, just a little advice from me to any young guys out their. NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER cheat on your wives/girlfriends! Its not worth it, you will get caught and its never any fun! and if any of you guys are going to do it, dont only carry a condom... but also a consent form and a pen!!!!! lol

Thanx guys, thanks for everything!