Dont know whats happening

[jamesthemug]

Hi

To cut a long story short 4 months ago i cheated on my wife with someone who was also in a relationship that i worked with, i have to make it clear now that the sex was 100% consentual and these allegations are completly fabricated. I obviously felt guilty for cheating and the situation was bad enough as it was. A week after what happend i had a phone call of my manager asking me to come into work and that it was serious, so i went in and had a meeting with him. During the meeting he said that said woman had made an allegation that i had raped her (this was the first i had heard of the allegations), he said that the police interviewed her at work and that she had gone for a medical examination. He then advised me (basically said i had to) hand in my notice and leave my job. Since then i havnt heard anything off anyone, the police havnt had any contact with me and all i know about the allegations are what my manager has told me. Unless he had told me as far as the police are concerned i have know knowledge of any complaints that may or may not have been made about me. I have no idea what is going on and i am so scared, i had to tell my wife as i was so worried and as a result i almost lost my marriage over it all. We had sex at my house so the police have not saw where it happend or anything. I havnt heard anything apart from off my manager. Would i have heard somthnig by now? Do the police have to inform a person if a complaint is made against them? How long can it take to hear off the police after a compaint like this is made? Please help me, i need advice, im so worried and dont know what i should do?

Thankyou for all your help!

[Casehardened]

Hi James,

If I've understood your timescales correctly, the woman made her allegation almost 4 months ago and she reported it to the police much less than a week after (consensual) sex.

It would therefore be treated as a current rather than a historical allegation and DNA evidence from yourself would be crucial.

If you haven't heard anything from the police by now my opinion is that you aren't going to (if they did now finally arrest and interview you, I would be looking at abuse of process for not collecting DNA and any other evidence at the time of the allegation)

Obviously there is fallout from the incident, your wife is upset, naturally enough, and you've lost your job.

Be very nice to her & take your firm to the Industrial Tribunal for constructive dismissal.

[jamesthemug]

thankyou

Thankyou for the advice, to be honest i coudlnt care less about the job. I would much rather keep as much distance between my self, thatplace and that horrible woman as i can. Ive heard roumers since from people i used to work with that she has decided to not to follow threw with pressing charges, but as ive already said everything ive heard is roumers! Would the police still have to contact me even if she didnt press charges? Do i have a right to know if they are following threw with the complaint? Thankyou again for your adivce!

[felix]

Hi James,

This is one where you throw the book at the company for unfair or constructive dismissal. Go to your local police station - the onle local to work, and ask them what is going on. Tell them what you know.

And all the very best

Felix

[Casehardened]

Hi again,

I can understand you not wanting to go back to your old job, I'd feel the same, but as Felix suggests you should be able to get some recompense for being obliged to hand in your notice, the equivalent of redundancy for example (especially if you haven't been able to find another job)

If the firm were forced to do this, the woman would suddenly become the 'bad guy' in their eyes.

[jamesthemug]

Thankyou

Thankyou so much that is great advice in regards to the job. But as ive heard nothing off the police so far, so do you think i will hear off now? if they were following the case up would they have already been in contact with me?
And even if they were not following up the case, should they have got into contact with me when the complaint was made?

[Kermit]

Hi

You must push for a tribrunal, what your boss did was absolutely out of order especailly as no complaint has been officailly made. That is outragous! I understand you dont wish to work there as the woman is there but you have to look out for yourself and your family.

When Kermit was finally charged, he informed his boss although he was self employed he sub contracted, he explained what we did know and he was never asked to leave but given full support.

If you let this go what is stopping her doing it again to some other man?

Your wife will be angry with you im sure and yes it will take a lot for you to make things right but without a job and bills still coming in thats added pressure you dont need.

When I recieved a phone call from the police saying an allegation had been made against Kermit but we were never told by the police what it was, only it was under the data protection act and either Kermit or Myself and my daughter had to move out of our family home until told different by the police, it took the police over 6wks before kermit was first interviewed. We seeked solicitors advice straight away, I would speak with a solicitor and then speak to the police to find out exactly what they are or are not doing and never speak to the police without a solicitor with you!
I really do hope you get a NFA soon

Kermits Fiancee

[jamesthemug]

thankyou for the advice in regards to my job and i will follow it up by speaking to ACAS in search of advice on that matter. But what i dont understand is why havnt the police got into contact with me? i have not been informed a complaint has been made gainst me or anything? do the police follow up all reports or is it possible her statement was so weak there was no need to contact me? and is it possible that the investigation is still on going and there hasnt been a need to contact me yet?

Thankyou

[Casehardened]

do the police follow up all reports or is it possible her statement was so weak there was no need to contact me? and is it possible that the investigation is still on going and there hasnt been a need to contact me yet?

Hi James,

Your query has thrown up some interesting information.

About a year ago I responded to a similar question with a link to the 'Ask the Police' website where they had stated that, if a woman makes a rape accusation and the 'perpetrator' can be found they will arrest and interview them though this is no guarantee that a prosecution will follow (my italics)

Looking on the same website today, this paragraph has been reworded so it only applies to cases of historical sexual abuse, along with a general revamp.

I consider this a highly significant alteration, and whilst none of us would wish to give you false hope (it might just be that the police in your area have a long backlog) you will also note the paragraph on the same link where it states the longer the matter is left the harder it is to gather evidence (noting my original post on this thread)

https://www.askthe.police.uk/content...f-5aba0228db4c

[Saffron]

I too don't want to give you false hope, but....
If the complainant reported the attack immediately, she would have been examined and interviewed. As she knows you, and the sex took place at your house she would have been able to give the police your name and address. It follows that you should have been arrested, examined and interviewed immediately. This is not a historical allegation, and the fact that you have not been arrested or interviewed under caution can only (in my opinion) mean one of three things:

1) The police did not believe her.
2) She has since told the police that she does not want to proceed with the allegation.
3) She didn't go to the police in the first place.

If it is option one then she could be facing a charge of attempting to pervert the course of justice.
If it is option two then the police could in theory still proceed without her testimony in court, using her initial interview as evidence. However, as you have not been arrested, interviewed or medically examined four months down the line I would say this is very unlikely. And to be honest, if (and it's a big IF) this were to happen, the police have failed miserably to follow their own procedures.
If it's option three then she is even more despicable.

Have you got a solicitor? Might be worth speaking to one and getting legal advice, if only for your own peace of mind.

[help-please]

Hi James,

Your query has thrown up some interesting information.

About a year ago I responded to a similar question with a link to the 'Ask the Police' website where they had stated that, if a woman makes a rape accusation and the 'perpetrator' can be found they will arrest and interview them though this is no guarantee that a prosecution will follow (my italics)

Looking on the same website today, this paragraph has been reworded so it only applies to cases of historical sexual abuse, along with a general revamp.

I consider this a highly significant alteration, and whilst none of us would wish to give you false hope (it might just be that the police in your area have a long backlog) you will also note the paragraph on the same link where it states the longer the matter is left the harder it is to gather evidence (noting my original post on this thread)

https://www.askthe.police.uk/content...f-5aba0228db4c

Hi Caseharderend , the link does not point to the article you mentioned , it looks like it may of been removed , do you have a copy that you could cut and paste into this thread if possible please.

[Casehardened]

Hi Caseharderend , the link does not point to the article you mentioned , it looks like it may of been removed , do you have a copy that you could cut and paste into this thread if possible please.

Hi,

That's odd, it worked when I put it up this morning. Are you getting a page which says "There are currently no categories under this letter"?

If so click on the letter 'S' above that line, then click on 'Sexual offences' in the list which opens up. This will take you to the FAQ's which I thought I'd linked to.

[help-please]

Casehardened , thank you once again , you sure know how to pick out valid points of interest .

[Bigsister]

I too don't want to give you false hope, but....
If the complainant reported the attack immediately, she would have been examined and interviewed. As she knows you, and the sex took place at your house she would have been able to give the police your name and address. It follows that you should have been arrested, examined and interviewed immediately. This is not a historical allegation, and the fact that you have not been arrested or interviewed under caution can only (in my opinion) mean one of three things:

1) The police did not believe her.
2) She has since told the police that she does not want to proceed with the allegation.
3) She didn't go to the police in the first place.

If it is option one then she could be facing a charge of attempting to pervert the course of justice.
If it is option two then the police could in theory still proceed without her testimony in court, using her initial interview as evidence. However, as you have not been arrested, interviewed or medically examined four months down the line I would say this is very unlikely. And to be honest, if (and it's a big IF) this were to happen, the police have failed miserably to follow their own procedures.
If it's option three then she is even more despicable.

Have you got a solicitor? Might be worth speaking to one and getting legal advice, if only for your own peace of mind.

I'm going for number 3 myself..

[jamesthemug]

Thanks Guys!

I am honestly endlessly greatful for the advice you have given me, it has braught me so much comfort and put my mind at ease in this horrible stressful situation. To be honest i think the vile girl realised what she is doing and did the right thing by telling the police to not follow threw with the alegation. She was in also in a relationship when we had sex and i think she made the allegation in an attempt to save her own relationship, but roumer has it that her boyfriend left her anyway so im guessing she has not followed threw with it. I just think its disgusting how one person can do this to another persons life. There have been times over the past few months where i have felt horrible like a criminal or somthing... and woman should not have the power to do this to people. I also think its disgusting how i have been kept in the dark by the police, dont get me wrong its not like i want the police banging on my door, but surley i have a right to know whats going on.. Anyway thankyou again for your advice guys and i feel for you all who are in my situation... If anyone does have anymore adivice for it please post it, but my last query is did i have a right to know in the first place? or is it common not to be informed?

Thankyou all