Hey guys

[Raptorace]

Hi all,

I've only just come across the forum, well my wife did actually. I've been too scared to look at the Internet about rape since I was arrested over a false allegation mid December. Just like the rest of you I went through post traumatic shock, suicidal thoughts, mass frustration at the speed of the police and cps (I'm still waiting to hear if I'm going to be charged from mid December following 5 re bails so far!) mow I'm at a stage where I'm able to sometimes go a whole hour without thinking about this nightmare which is better but still bloody awful. I'm so angry! I have lost my job that I loved, my income, my career, my pride and my happy personality all because of a false accusation. I want to hurt this girl so badly now I actually believe I will, even though I'm normally so calm and laid back, but if I go to prison for something I haven't done I'm going to cripple this girl when I get out. She has ruined my life totally. I'm married and my wife is very supportive luckily, plus I have two young adorable daughters to think of, but if I didn't have them, I'm sure I would have done myself in by now and taken her out too. Can anyone tell me this anger goes away cus it scares the he'll out of me as to what I might do?

[Verity]

Hi Raptorace,

I'm just about to zoom off to bed but thought I'd say welcome as you probably have sleepless nights.
Have a read of the posts and have a look at what I have posted. Click on my profile and then find all posts and you will realise your thoughts are all too normal given the abnormal situation you have been plunged into.

Others will be along in the morning to say hello and give you support.

Stay strong.
Verity

[RFLH]

Hi Raptorace, whatever you do - get rid of those thoughts of that type of retribution - you'll only sink down to her level.

As Verity says, the way you feel is normal, but you must try to do things with your wife and family to give your head a rest. Go out and enjoy yourselves - don't let her rob you of any more of your family life and time.

If it comes to an NFA - then get her, but do it legally, drag her through the courts and get her named publicly. Far more satisfying and it'll stay with her the whole of her life.

Time out, head high and walk tall.

[Raptorace]

Thanks for the replies.
RFLI what can you sue for if NFA'd?? Deformation? Slander maybe? Anything else?

[Bigsister]

I dont know how you all manage to keep your cool. I hate being accused of something I haven't done, so I can only begin to imagine how you must feel.
Do you ever learn to trust females again?
A bad relationship can have us untrusting again. Without something this soul destroying going on.
I guess someone can be charged with 'wasting poilce time' basically. But it rarely seems to happen.
It's amazing isn't it, they pull out all the stops to get an innocent guy in court when some screwy woman accuses them, yet you have more chance of winning the lottery than seeing a stupid bint prosecuted for causing not just a guy extreme anxiety, but his family too.
The law is an ass it seems.
Not too sure how my bro keeps going at the moment as he doesn't have a partner & children to worry about. But he is plodding on.
I do believe he still thinks that justice will prevail & he can't be found guilty of something he hasn't done, especially with the conflicting & ever changing evidence against him, but I haven't really told him that it doesn't always work out like that!
Look at Sion Jenkins...

[felix]

Hi Raptorace,

I was arrrested mid November, multiply re-bailed and only heard three weeks ago NFA and only got a letter yesterday saying the police are not going to proceed.

The rules are pretty much that a rape case is always referred to the CPS. At the CPS it MUST be looked at by a specially trained CPS lawyer who specialises in rape. There are usually only two of these in each CPS region.

To NFA or 'not going to proceed', the first CPS lawyer has to decide there is no case, or no realistic chance of prosecution, or the woman is barking mad. Then he has to go to the SECOND lawyer and obtain his agreement that an NFA is the correct decision. Only when that happens will the first CPS lawyer call the officer in charge who will in turn call your solicitor who will in turn call you.

If one of the two CPS rape lawyers is ill or on holiday, or the officer or your solicotor is on holiday, everything gets held up.

In my case it went to the CPS about 20th March. We were promised all would be decided by my bail date at the end of March. It wasn't because one of the two relevant CPS lawyers was ill or on holiday or something. Thus I was rebailed, to end May but then heard good news a week or so later.

Do you know whether the officer in charge has been to the CPS with your case yet? If he has, reckon at this time of year three to four weeks for a decision. If he he has not, and there may be all sorts of perfectly reasonable and non alarming reasons why it is taking the officer in charge so long to prepare things, then it is three weeks after it goes to CPS when you can expect to hear.

Delays are particularly occurring in analysing mobile phone calss, texts and laptops apparently, at least in London.

So don't worry, delays are part of the game. It might be worth asking your solicitor if it has gone to CPS yet and if not when is it going to.

And I STRONGLY relate to "I've been too scared to look at the Internet about rape since I was arrested over a false allegation mid December. " I only started looking after I got my NFA.

Felix:

[Raptorace]

Thanks people.
I feel fairly sure I will get an answer by my next date of 20th may as it went to the cps months ago but the requested more info and statements from the police before making a decision. Since then the solicitor dealing at the cps moved jobs and my case was passed to another solicitor at the cps weeks ago. The police have told my solicitor they expect no further delays.
What are someone's chances of NFA, I don't really get it because I did have sex with the girl so it's just one word against another.

I have lots of witnesses and CCTV showing her all over me, and have told the police that she even asked me to help her think of some bull***t she could tell her partner to avoid her having to admit she had cheated on her partner, I didn't expect her to pull out the rape card though. But what I'm saying is that no one at the cps is going to want to make a decision to NFA because there is no actual evidence in a case like this only circumstantial so I fear that all these cases must end up in crown court which scares the life out of me because if it goes wrong there...... So if your reading this and you got NFA'd why do you think that was??
Thanks

[Bigsister]

Million dollar question.
Bit like asking how matey next door won the lottery & I didn't. (he didn't but you get what I mean)

[felix]

Circumstantial evidence, emails, voice messages, text messages before and after the alleged incident, inconsitstent with an incident in which the alleged rape occurred - but that is only a guess. I have no real idea why. She may even hav withdrawn allegation for all I know. You get NO information......

[Kermit]

Revenge only drops you to her level

Hi Felix, I no all the feelings you put down so does my fiancee Kermit,he is serving a with prison sentence for a rape he did not commit and i can say that with my hand on my heart as i was home and so was my daughter when the supposid rape was meant to have happened.Kermit is waiting on his appeal that was put into london the day after the verdict came in,kermits defence is appealing the verdict and misdirection with evidence to back up his defence.Write things down no matter how small, is there any reason for this allegation? did you reject this person, are they jealous of your family life? anything that your defense team can use! Kermit was found guilty without any evidence only the word of my x husbands daughter from his 1st marriage, who has also made another allegation of other rape by someone else with a possible 3rd.
Make sure your solicitor has everything.
Kermit has had so many thoughts about suicide revenge depression,yet it does not help. Both me and my daughter have felt angry revenge but it only eats us up more and more.We need to be strong for kermit and help him,as im sure your family are helping you,i no when kermit was first taken from us i only wanted revenge but now 4mths on all we want is to get kermit home and start the recovery process and getting our life back.At times i did not want to go on,the police try ever dirty trick they can to break you but when you no your innocent and you stand up against them it actually helps you become stronger for each other.Everyone on here has helped us and i know they will back you 100% supporting helping and understand all emotions.
If there is anything no matter how small that you can find evidence wise keep it and dont let the police have anything.Kermit and me thought before we found this site we were doing the right thing by talking to the police and trying to work out why my x husbands daughter had made up these lies, little did we no they will twist and lose evidence.I pray things work out for you and your family.Dont forget you are not alone,there is an extensive family on here all willing to listen x

[Phoenix]

Good luck! I wish you success in the appeal.

[Saffron]

Hi Raptorace

Good advice from members so far. Unfortunately I have nothing to add in practical terms, but I wanted to say welcome.

[psychotic]

fight to the bitter end

but don't let these thoughts distract you, need to stay strong and rebuild your family, career and life... just keep on thinking you are not the only one... many of us will continue to stay strong and fight to the bitter end!

[psychotic]

the loved ones

on the flip side, cus i am not married and don't have any children, i only have my mom to worry about... i don't want to worry her so thats why i must stay strong and fight, my friends all say the same thing to me and say don't give up hope

so far through all this 1 girl has been really supportive... she checks me almost everyday to see how i am doing... she told me no matter what happens hurting yourself is the stupidest you can do... just for that i have stopped alot of my suicide thoughts... and believe justice will be served... i think this is just a test to make an even stronger person!

[Kermit]

Glad you have someone there for you when you need a shoulder, i have just got back from the doctors and now on medication for depression.
If it was not for advice from everyone on here i would not be as strong, i no the depression tablets will help but just knowing that there are others in the same boat help us no we are not alone ever.
If you do start to feel low as it really is a roller coaster ride we are all on , then please take advice and go to your doctor and seek help further.
Hold on in there stay strong as you can and i am a firm believer of
What goes around comes around !

Kermits Fiancee