Years later and I still can't come to terms with it

[dontpanic]

and another thing

Thanks for the compliments.

Another thing that really annoyed me was that the girl who did this to me started going back to her lectures wearing baggy clothes and stopped wearing make up. She told everyone that she didn't want to "attract anyone".

But, sure enough, 3 nights or more each week she was out at the local club with everything hanging out and make up caked on.

The whole facade of it disgusted me and when we told our solicitor about it he said it was actions by people like her that destroy the system for genuine complaints.

The other thing that I noticed about them was that they have both told lies before. One of them made up a story about having an abortion for a presentation at university.

I hope their consciences catch up with them.

[felix]

Empathy

I too am struck by how nice and normal people are here. I have always got on well with women. Since I was in my 30s I found younger colleagues would come to me with their problems. I am just a normal empathetic approachable bloke - with a bit of a paunch.

It is that empathy which makes us vulnerable to predatiors.....

[Phoenix]

It's been over 4 years since I was accused and 3 years since NFA was given.

I still see one of the girls who conspired against me, walking about town and even coming into my work and not recognising who I am. I don't think I can ever forget their faces and what their lies nearly did to me.

I still have nightmares and I have panic attacks frequently as a result.

I don't want to go to the doctor because I feel like I would have to explain everything to him.

Does anyone else on here still feel held back by their experiences of false accusation?

I am an incredibly intelligent young man and since this happened I was thrown out of university and I have gone back again but I struggle now having spent a year out of the loop. I also find i hard to concentrate due to a lack of sleep and I constantly fear for my safety.

Any responses will be welcome, just to know I have other people to talk to in the same situation.

Thanks

Dontpanic, my heart goes out to you!

It's so unfair that you should have to suffer like this.

I've seen things from both sides of the fence - as a rape victim and as someone who saw a male friend falsely accused of rape.

There's no magic fix and no one size fits all solution.

What I DO know is that I want to hug you and kiss you and remind you that you DIDN'T do it and you need to try to start forgiving and loving yourself.

God know I can talk - I still can't stop blaming myself.

Even so, you know the truth and whatever nasty minded people say you've got your integrity to hang on to.

Please, dear man, be strong and know there ARE people who love you and care about you - even ones who've never met you!

Hugs and kisses a bundle!

[witsend]

Don't panic
This reaction seems quite normal for a lot of people. Somehow, and it's very hard, you have to pick yourself up and start anew. Our son came close to suicide but with the help and support of some professional people we are slowly making inroads. Keep coming back

[psychotic]

suicide is not the way out

yes i agree with all of you... 2 weeks ago i was so distraught i was close to end my own life... but somehow i brought myself back to reality and now i am in the fightingest mood ever... there are scars on my arm but now i want them to recover fast so i will not let the "complainant" see that she has hurt me... they will just serve as reminders that i have been hurt but i will come back as a stronger person

i am glad that many of your families are so supportive... i think its important that we have to show our family members that we believe in them and we stay stronger than the person being falsely accused... i think that way it will create a positive cycle and more goods will come out of it than expected!

[dontpanic]

It's been a while...

Hey guys, it's been a while since I've posted. I just want to thank you all for your help and your kind wishes.

I find that talking to people helps. I found out that a friend of mine was in a similar situation years ago and discussing it with him takes the load off my mind.

I always found it hard to try and make new relationships with people after what happened to me. I became very reclusive and anxious around new people.

Two years ago I met my girlfriend, and I have shared my story with her. I expected she would run a mile. But she has comforted me and undersands my anxiety and panic attacks as well as my inability to sleep.

I just want to let everyone out there, who is going through the legal process, know that there is some good in this world.

My experience has helped shape who I am know. I am much wiser and a lot more cautious as to who I trust.

I took your advice and tried hypnosis. It has helped me focus on my ambitions and my future instead of living in the past.

Thank you all, you've helped a young man pull through.

[Faith]

It's nice of you to return and offer this message dontpanic

I am very happy that you have found yourself a nice girlfriend. Nice women DO exist, far more than the evil ones, and sometimes an experience of this magnitude can make us forget that.

Take Care.