false accusation advice wanted

[inshock]

hello everyone have spent sevral hours reading over some posts in this forum and am plesently suprised with the advice and contributions offered.

i would like anyone with experience of knowledgeable information to help me

im not entirely sure how much information i am able to post here as my case is current ongoing, so i will briefly describe my situation .. i have been arrested and interviewed in realtion to a rape allegation since which i have been given bail. i had consensual sex with a women whom i met and on the same day i met her this happend in my property and she left in what i thought was a good mood and happy and joking. i am not entirely sure of the complete accusation she gave to police they just read out bits in interview the majority of which were lies..the place were she says we initally met is incorrect and i have informed police of the true location and am hoping cctv will be available to demonstrate that basically the rest of the statement was lies with a few truths. after i was bailed the police gave me a lift home and advised me "they no when someone is telling the truth " "i shouldnt worry nothing will go on my record if too apply for a job" "i would probably get a phone call in a few days advising nfa" that is the last contact i had and was 6 days ago now. can anyone advise on what action i should now take?

[Rights Fighter]

All you can do is to sit it out and wait until you answer your next bail date.

[inshock]

thanks for that... i took that as a given. i was actually hopeing someone could advise me on whats happening. i have done nothing wrong so am feeling very confident but there is still the nigggle in the back of the mind what if im still charged. the police actions as i mentioned after the interview are they common?

[inshock]

i can see peoples time on this forum is very valuable and am eagerly awaiting some advice.... just an update to add... i have spoke to the police officer who arrested me who advised he was not working for the next two days but as soon as he was back on duty he would speak to his superior then all being well would send out a letter advising me no further action was to be taken

[inshock]

i really am upset that apart from the brief comment from "rights fighter" no body can offer me any advice or information, this is a constant worry in the back of my mind and with people using this forum having the same or similar experiences i would be really greatfull if somebody out there could give me some advice

[Shatteredhusband]

Inshock,

I really sympathize as I have been on police bail since October and know all too well how stressful this can be. I am not really sure what advice you were looking for. You say that the OIC has stated that when he comes back he hopes that your case can be NFA'd. Until that time, I am afraid it is a waiting game. Hopefully you will get your NFA today.

Good luck and best wishes
SH

[xxlettyxx]

hi inshock,
I think their reply really summed up what the fact of these awful situations is" a waiting game" . My partner has just gone through 18months of hell from that first questioning till the sentencing at crown court and inbetween bailed quite a few times and every time you hope someone is going to tell you no further action or there has been a mistake. Every day will seem like an eternity and you are desperate for someone to tell you that it will be ok and nothing will happen. But in reality you really do jst have to sit and wait . You are just another case to the police , it doesnt concern them that you are spending each minute worried sick. At least you know they are checking things out on the girls part before getting back to you. I hope when you hear from them it is NFA. By the way we found never believe what police say to you "off the record".They tend to say things and then as soon as your're in a room with a tape recorder its a different ballgame. From what you said it looks very "dodgy" on the girls part, and getting to be a very common accusation to throw at some poor lad/man. Really hope they soon get it sorted and you can put it behind you but in the meantime it really is just a waiting game. You might find it helps to get a notebook and write any little piece of information that springs to mind down because if it does drag on you'll find as time goes by its easy to forget things that could be a vital part of your defence no matter how trivial it may seem.
Sorry that I cant offer you any advice on the legal side of things. It does take over your life and every waking thought so you have to try and live life as normally as you can and lets hope you soon have peace of mind , keep me updated please. x

[Rights Fighter]

There isn't really much "advice" anybody here can give to you as they do not know the specifics of your case. Others are in much the same situation when they first arrive here and until they have some idea of what others are fighting they can't really make suggestions.

Have you posted on other people's threads?

[inshock]

thanks very much for all the comments its just a relief and nice feeling to no there is other people out there and im not alone. everybody seems to be in agreement from what i can see it really is just a waiting game, i feel as tho i would just like to be sedated and woken up when the police finally realise i didnt do it. just gonna keep a eye out for that postman every morning and hope the letter comes soon. thanks everyone

[inshock]

well..another day of hell over thinking everything panicking asking myself can i trust the police to investigate properly and find the truth not just look for a conviction, doing my head in, sorry just needed to sound off a bit

[Verity]

Hi Inshock,

That is exactly the stage you are at: in shock.

During this stage you have a billion thoughts coursing through your mind, nothing makes sense, catastrophic thoughts crash in and your mind and body doesn't have a clue how to deal with the psychological and physical sensations you are experiencing, so the mind and body does what instinct dictates, which is to go into survival mode.

The digestive system slows down so blood can be diverted to the vital organs needed for the fight or flight, lungs, heart and muscles.
The body thinks it is in imminent danger of death, some people find they suffer vomiting, constant and urgent need to clear the bowel and bladder etc.

This is how a prey animal reacts to a predator, clearing the system out makes them lighter and therefore more fleet of foot.

The problem is, we can neither run like the clappers from what our mind percieves as danger and nor can we fight that danger, so we are stuck and all this preparedness has nowhere to go, no way to be vented or released and as a result, all the adrenalin, cortisol, lactic acid, etc is not used or metabolised and by remaining in the body and brain causes all the sensations you are experiencing.

This is defined as post traumatic stress disorder, (used to be called shell shock - which sums up quite nicely what has happened - you are shell shocked).
There is a constant sense of urgency to get advice, information, to get it stopped, for the nightmare to end.
Everything needs to be done yesterday.
If people don't respond immediately all sorts of irrational, illogical and catastrophic thoughts invade our every waking moment and even restless sleep brings no relief, no respite and the feeling of being in a pitch black tunnel of which there is no end and therefore no light.
The sudden loss of control of one's life, the impotence of not being able do something, anything.
The dread of knowing your life and future is in the hands of those with malicious intent, non-altruistic objectives and possibly 12 people who may be more interested in getting to the pub, pick the kids up from school or are too thick to understand making they are making a decision that could deprive you of your liberty, destroy everything you have worked for and decimate your relationships all based on the lies of a false accuser.

A fatious idiot said to me; 'falsely accused don't need support or help, those convicted under the joint enterprise law do'.
I nearly brained him where he stood, especially as I have yet to come across a single case where the 'wrongfully convicted' really was 'innocent'!

I have always been a survivor as a result of my horrific childhood and it took me years to modify my reactions etc to have all my hard work blown to smithereens when my now hubby was falsely accused.
Hubby, like a wounded lion went under a bush and tried to block the horror of the situation. He held on to the knowledge of his complete innocence and the knowledge that the false allegation was a concocted fabrication.
He very nearly took the car to beachy head.
Our GP said we had a duty to survive for all those suffering along with us an for the innocent victim's falsely accused in the future.

I came out fighting with the thought; I may not have been able as a child to put a stop to my abuser (my mother) but as an adult I can put a stop to hubby's abuser
(the female investigating officer who knew the allegation was false but was more interested in getting a male scalp than investigating in a balanced and impartial
manner to find where the truth lay).

I paid a heavy price paychologically and physically in the winning of the war with the State.
But we did it, we survived, we are blooded and battered but WE proved beyond all doubt that hubby was, is and always will be a factually and morally innocent man.

We are both suffering from the fallout of the war and will do for many years to come.

As my signature attests - He who endures, conquers.

We all have a duty to endure and conquer the canker of false allegations.
We all, innocent victim falsely accused, their families and loved ones deserve restorative justice and closure.

Inshock, what you are experiencing is (believe it or not!) normal for the situation you find yourself in. Not that it makes it any easier to cope with.

Please go to your GP, get help. You are in a boxing ring and the fight bell has sounded. Every boxer has a second, armed with a towel and a first aid kit, that's what your GP is.
Use the services, you are entitled to.

Stay with us on the forum, we are here to impart knowledge through first hand experience.
You could say we have learnt on the job!!!

You will survive this, you will be a different person but, you will survive.

Verity

[Bigsister]

What a fantastic post Verity.

[Verity]

Thanks Bigsis!!!!!

[inshock]

thanks for that Verity gives me some comfort.. sat waiting for the postman again hoping the letter is on it's way and this can all be over

[inshock]

just to update on recent events have spoken to the office who arrested me just now.. he said the person who he needs to get conformation from for the nfa is on annual leave but he is quite sure no further action is going to be taken against me and not too worry too much, that he would not tell someone that in his opinion no further action would be taken if he was not confident. im taking a lot off positives from the conversation but it has also placed a huge doubt in my mind. the person who he needs to speak to is on annual leave surely there most always be someone thier who could authorise that not just one person, maybe im just over thinking too much, would like anybody who could offer advice or knows how the system operates, is it right that the person could be on leave? is there only one? thanks