Help me please??? In distress.

[helpmeplease101]

Hi there,

On friday, I went out with some friends, and pre drank at a girls house.
We went to a club, and I spoke to her for maybe 5 minutes or so all night, after a while myself and some others went down to the main part of the club (not with the female, who I will call A) and I immediately lost everyone.
After mingling with various people I know for a short period I time I decided to leave, upon leaving, at the same time as me A and a male who was also drinking with us were leaving. I went over and talked to them, and it became apparent that A had lost her bag. (We were both very very drunk)
Myself and A went and sat down opposite the club while the male went back in to look for the bag, while we were sitting down we were kissing a little, and the male soon came out and said he couldnt find the bag.
I said id get her home safely, as i live 5-10 minutes further than her and hers is on the way.
I got more money out and we got in a cab, and stopped outside her house.
I paid and we went to the door, i said she didnt have her keys, and that she could stay at mine if we couldnt get let in. She said I could stay at hers if we could.
After banging on the door for a few minutes, her housemate let us in, and they went inside, i followed behind.
We put her in bed and I went to the toilet, i then came back, took my shoes off and got into bed with her, facing her. We continued to kiss and she started to take her underwear off, which I helped in doing so. As her hand was on my bum, my jeans/boxers came down to just below my genitals.
I (for want of a better word) fingered her, and she was touching me. However I was too drunk to obtain an erection, so after a little more kissing stopped. At which point she threw up over my arm.
I then went back to the bathroom to clean it off, and went back to the room to put my shoes on.
I made a stupid drunken mistake of stealing a few items when leaving.
And then left.

On monday morning I was arrested for theft, which I completely owned up to etc. And taken to a police station, and after several hours had my phone seized, and was further arrested on suspicion of rape.

At this point I requested a solicitor.
I was then put on constant supervision and consented to all dna sampling (blood, urine, nail clippings/scrapings, penile swabs, pubic scrapings) and after several more hours was interviewed under caution.

I was then released on bail (about 4 weeks away) with conditions attached, and informed several items from my room were seized (clothing, fake viagra ((I own for a laugh)) my phone and a few other bits like bedding)

Im so scared, ive done nothing wrong. She was fully consential, and was doing just as much as me.

Ive never been in trouble with the police before, not even pulled over while driving. I was fully cooperative, and owned up to the theft of goods.

This female goes to the same uni as me, I made a silly mistake in cheating on my girlfriend and now I cant get my mind off what this could do to me.
My girlfriend has effectively ended it with me (understandably), I cant get any work done, and I'm so scared.

The housemate that let us in has also said how drunk she was.
She doesnt remember anything. No sex happened at all.

What can I expect to happen?
What should I do?

I cant afford a specialist solicitor (I live on like £10 a week! as im a student!)

please help????

[helpmeplease101]

Any advice at all would be appreciated x

[OldJoe]

Hey mate,
Sorry to see that you have found your way here.

Try reading my thread from the begining, "help me falsely accused of rape"

it may help a little.

[largactyl1]

Hi 101, well there are a lot of people here who will be able to advise you, but I will try and be helpful as it's quite late and it's not nice being up all night sweating anxiety.

OK, Firstly I'm sure you are aware that it was a dumb act to thieve off this girl but obviously nicking a few bits and pieces is not rape. We've all done stupid things which we would not normally do when p*ssed.

Secondly, if you are in the UK, you will not have to pay for your solicitor if you are broke (which as a student you will be). You get legal aid. There will be others who can tell you about this.

Thirdly, take a deep breath. You can cope with this situation as you have no choice but to cope with it. It will be tough, but hopefully you have people close to you who can support you. This site is excellent for support, advice and a place to vent.

Fourth, write down everything you can remember about this night. Who you remember seeing, who you talked to, anything about the cab driver, where you drew your money out. Write down everything that happened when you were with this girl - including at her place and try to get it all in order. I think others would say to give a copy to a friend to look after.

Fifth, have you had any contact since? I guess not as she would be so hacked off with you for nicking stuff, but if she has contacted you via FB or anything, take a screen shot and ensure a copy is in a safe place. Ditto phone - or have the police got that? Do you know anything about this girl which might lead to her saying she was raped?

Specialist solicitors are also on legal aid, there are some people here who work with/ know of people in different parts of the country.

I really hope this is of some use to you 101 until someone who knows more comes along. If there is someone you trust, make sure you talk to them about it as you will need support over the following weeks. You also need to accept that this could take quite a while as the police and cps unfortunately seem to work at the rate of a tortoise on valium.

Best wishes to you

Jen

[OldJoe]

"as the police and cps unfortunately seem to work at the rate of a tortoise on valium."


haha, too true.

[helpmeplease101]

Hey,
The issue as far as the legal aid goes is I have got about 2k, its just thats all saved up towards my masters. So Im guessing theyd look at that and say no to funding?
Im in the south east of kent though, if anyone has any ideas??

Contact with the girl, no. Id met her, as I say, once or twice before, a friend of a friend. SOmeone Id know to see but not to say hi to, if that makes sense?

Yes, they have my phone.

I've told a close friend, and my mother. The problem being I obviously dont live at home so cant just pop round to get support.

Her, what is clearly, boyfriend has now added me on facebook, I havnt declined or accepted. Any advice?

101

[quinnb]

Hi what items did u steal. I assume that the police recovered them. And as for Facebook me personally would accept fb request have a look at his wall see if anything relevant on it. Print it off then block him. But I suspect others may think differently.

[helpmeplease101]

hey,

err, just some **** really. Headphones, sunglasses, a bit of money that was lying around.
Nothing I even needed or really wanted to be honest.
As soon as I left I was confused myself as to why i even had it.
I also had the intention of returning the goods / leaving them outside the front door, something I made clear to the police, however obviously was unable to.

I admitted this crime straight away.

As far as the facebook thing goes, does this not technically breach bail as far as indirectly interfering goes?

[largactyl1]

Hi - I don't think 2k is going to make much difference to your need for legal aid. I'm wondering if her having a boyfriend could indicate as to why she felt the need to say she had been raped if she hadn't - i.e. as an excuse for being unfaithful to him?

Jen

[helpmeplease101]

oh, fair enough.
Is anybody able to help as to where i could get a specialist solicitor through legal aid then?

Maybe?
From what ive been told by my solicitor at present, (the duty one), she hasnt a lcus as to whats happened.

Any advice from anyone??

x

[quinnb]

As for fb he is making contact with u not the other way round. Besides the fact u will only have him added for a few mins then block him. U may find something interesting.

[LS]

Uh, I'd be very careful in that situation, quinnb. If the bf is trying to get in touch, which adding as a friend would be, it leaves room for an accusation of having contact with the girl indirectly.

Trust me, I fell foul of that with IM. The other party's dad sent a number of comments, which I ignored, but he then made a Word Document and pasted his own comments, and fabricated a series of threats in between his, and put my name in. When I pointed out to the police all of the faults with the document, and showed them how it had been fabricated, they didn't listen and didn't even bother to investigate, just got me remanded for 4 months, accused of intimidating a witness.

You have no idea how good this guy is with Photoshop or what he could put together with it with your name on it, so my advice is steer clear. Well clear.

[helpmeplease101]

LS, agreed to be honest. Id rather not (inadvertently or otherwise) get into any more grief than im already in.

at present i still have not replied to the request, but have changed my privacy settings to make my profile as private as possible.

Has anyone got an idea of what steps I could take here?
Whats the best course of action etc etc.

Thankyou so much for all responses so far by the way.

[Verity]

Hello 101,
I am in East Kent and have set up Kent Against Injustice.
Go to the website: kentagainstinjustice.com and join. Then I can speak to you privately.

If this goes any further look on the website and you will find a solicitor's, EBR Attridge who specialise in false allegations and have loads of experience in dealing with the police in order to protect your best interests.

You will also see on the site that we have monthly meetings, the details are there so if you want to come to the next one just let me know.

Keep calm and take control of your case, you can do it and you will get all the support and practical help we can offer.