desperate mum

[bagpuss]

My teenage son was arrested in october for oral rape on a 11 and 10 year old. Four boys made statements, 2 saying he made them preform oral sex on him and the other said they were in the house and my son was knaked but never saw this happen. My lovely son has said they were all in his mates house but said these acts never happened. We believe our son completely, hes a nice natured boy. He has been on bail since october and has been interviewed twice. No dna was found in his friends house even though from what one of the boys said in his statement that my son masturbated over the bedroom. His phone was taken as this was in use during these alleged attacks, but again the phone was returned with nothing on it.
One of the boys accused a family member of the same offence and even though this was not taken to court trhough lack of evidence the family member was removed from the home by social services.We are worried sick for the safety of our family and our son who cant understand why this is happening. Please help me im on so much medication and havent worked since before christmas.
All 4 statements are different, 2 say it happened in the summer holidays and 2 say it happened in april. Also the rooms this was meant to have happened it are different.

[Shatteredhusband]

So sorry to hear about the position you and your son find yourself in. I hope that this does not drag on much longer for you both. I am sure that others will be along with support and advice.

[allatsea]

I am sorry you have had to find your way here, but welcome. This is a very good site for help and practical advice. My son was arrested in August last year and was on bail for five months before it was NFA'd (no further action). The process is slow and the waiting is agony but you have to hold strong for your son. My heart goes out to you.

allatsea

[bagpuss]

Thank you for your posts we live in constant fear of people attacking our son, the boys all live within a 2 minute walk of our house. I dont sleepat nite and feel helpless and suicidal. My lovely life has been ruined by lies, ive lost a stone in weight and will lose my job as i cant work. Just want to go to sleep and not wake up x

[Shatteredhusband]

Bagpuss,

What you are going through emotionally is entirely understandable. Few of us affected by these false allegations have not at sone point felt suicidal. In my case I found the samaritan's invaluable. Please get the number and keep it safe and definitely use it at those moments when you are so low.

Consider your GP who will be able to arrange counselling or medication to cope with stress and help you to sleep.

Your son will need you and you will be no good for him if you do not take care of yourself at this stage. It is not weakness to ask others for help. In this situation it is essential.

Best wishes and take care
SH

[suzzq]

hi bagpuss please get in touch with your council if your property is rented and explain your fears they have emergency places that they can put youin.do you have parents that arnt in your area.can you stay with them for awhile.is he still attending school.go to the doctors get some councelling for you both.my heart goes out to you.

[Verity]

On average there is at least one victim falsely accused or his supporter becoming a member of daftmoo every day.
I joined on Jan 31, 39 days ago when the membership stood at 1,068
Today's figure is: 1,129
which equals: 61 new members in 39 days

61 divide by 39 = 1.564102564 (1 and a 1/2) new members per, day every day.
Now let's say each falsely accused has three close family members who will be severely affected by the fall out from the false allegation:

61 x 4 = 244. So 244 people are affected by a false allegation in a 39 day time frame.

So 365 days divide by 39 days = 9.358974359 people per day, every day are experiencing the nightmare that is a false allegation.

This figure is fascinating as it has been calculated that 9.70 men are falsely accused of a sexual offence each day everyday and have been for the last 24 years as evidenced by Home Office statistics.

If the join rate on this forum continues at the rate it has for the last 39 days, in 326 days time 3,412 and 3/4 of a person would have been falsely accused of a sexual offence.

Times 3,412.75 by 4 (the family as a whole) = 13,651 people affected by a false allegation of a sexual nature in a period of 365 days.

That is just a survey for this site. Now multiply this nationwide, then include all those who are to afraid to come on to a forum or do not have acess to the internet.

Go to the Straight Statistics society and read the blogs written by statisticians.

The allegations made against the innocent victim, (especially the historic allegations) are becoming more outrageous, fantastical and unbelievable.
Yet the police etc, do everything they can to 'build a case against the victim falsely accused' regardless of how weak, tenuous and spurious it is.

I am so sick to the back teeth of this crime against men and a lesser number of women.

This is a pustular canker, surely to God it has to explode in the face of the state soon.

God help us, this is destroying society.

[RFLH]

blimey Verity - I thought I'd timewarped and was back at school!

scarey figures though aren't they?

[largactyl1]

Hi Bagpuss, I am so sorry you are in this situation with your child. If you are being harrassed at all where you live then (if in council/housing assoc) ask to be moved or at least log anything that happens and get police involved.

If your son is school age, ask to speak specifically with Behaviour Support (Behaviour Support is not just for naughty kidfs - it's for all sorts of problems kids face)about what support they can give without letting teaching staff know exactly what the problem is. You get in touch with this dept. through the local council (ask for Education). Note: Behav. Sup is not always called that but most LEA's now have them. Social services can surely offer some support but I'm not clear on that.

For your self I would recommend your local MIND, who can organise talking therapy immediately and they will not judge you. You have depression, therefore they will help. And has been mentioned, the Samaritans are good - particularly at night when you can't sleep and anxiety gnaws away.

The support and knowledge of people on this site is also invaluable and you can come on and rant, ask questions to people who have been there.

Kind Regards
Jen x

[witsend]

Hi Bagpuss, so glad you found your way here,hopefully you will get the advice and support you need. Please take on board what other members have said it's all good advice. My heart really goes out to you and your boy.

[bagpuss]

Thank u to everyone that took the time to post a comment. Its nice to no im not going through this alone.

[LS]

Uh, those figures may be a little skewed. Don't forget the other side of the forum/fence, so the influx of 100-odd could effectively be a fair number lower than that in reality.