accused of sexual assault

[garry41]

hi guys
a month ago i was accused of sexual assault by a female she went to the police and told them i dragged her into the toilet not true she led me into the loo where she took her own jeans down at wich point i walked out to be met by her boyfriend standing outside the loo he was not happy.
she came back to the pub a few days later to tell me she had reported it and that she was sorry for doing it i told her she was a physco and where to go this was infront of a witness.
since then she has told people that she dropped the charges but the police keep on to her to proceed with it,one person has been interviewed and he told them nothing could of happened in the 45 seconds i was in there with her,why didnt she scream etc why has she been back to the pub several times,why add me as a friend on fb 4 days after this supposedly happened.i have not been contacted by the police but im bricking it any advise or help you can give me please guys.
many thanks.

[LS]

Hi, welcome. Sorry that eleven people viewed without bothering to post a response.

I think you have little to worry about. Firstly, she cannot go around "dropping charges," the police and cps have that choice, not the accuser generally. Yes, she could refuse to play ball, but that's not the same as being the one who can decide to press charges or not. Once she reports it, it's in the hands of others, not her.

Secondly, 45 seconds? I doubt anyone can do much in 45 seconds. And there was a "witness" (her bf) who obviously knows the time you went in just as well as the time you came out.

Personally, ignore it. Only worry if you hear something back, but my view is she's messing with you.

[worried123]

I woudl try and forget it if possible (not easy I know). I assume the police are not going to do anything about it or they would have been in contact by now.

Good luck and I hope you can try and put it out of your mind.

[Verity]

When will this destructive wickedness stop???

I am sick to the back teeth with women who use the 'he raped me' card to excuse their behaviour.
Women of this ilk seem to think they can behave in a promiscuious manner lead a man on then cry wolf when he responds.
They know the law is heavily weighted in their favour and abuse that privilage.
I have said this before and I will say it again, until the powers that be stop cowering to the feminist anti-men lobby and sort the law to stop the witch hunt against the male population of this country ALL males are going to have to take control by NOT chatting women up at night clubs, NOT going to the female's place or taking the female to his place.
Refrain from having sex with a woman he has just met, forget about one-night stands even if the female initiates things.
Run a mile from a female who has been drinking.
Do not touch a female under any circumstances.
Get sex consent forms printed in triplicate, so if a woman wants to have sex get her to sign the form and send one copy to your solicitor, the second copy to your local police station and keep the third copy on your person.

The other alternative is to have a witness during the sex act.

The best and safest policy is keep well away from women.
Do not touch.
It would be great if all men got together and had a national ignore women day where men do not talk to or answer women, have absolutely no interaction with women and keep a good ten foot barge pole distance from them.
As a female I am thoroughly ashamed of my gender.

Garry, treat the woman who has made the allegation against you with the utter contempt she deserves.
Cut all contact with her, block her from any electronic communication with you, block her telephone number, do not respond to any form of communications from her.
Ignore her completely.
Get on with your life and if this matter goes any further let us know and we will take you along the road so many others have travelled and so many more will.

[Casehardened]

Get sex consent forms printed in triplicate, so if a woman wants to have sex get her to sign the form and send one copy to your solicitor, the second copy to your local police station and keep the third copy on your person.

The other alternative is to have a witness during the sex act.

Verity,

I know it's a serious subject and you do give great advice and support, but this bit is so brilliantly funny that I hope you won't mind me quoting it (in suitable company of course)

[LS]

Better have an extra form filled out for the "witness" too, or he/she'll be done for voyeurism

[Saffron]

Sorry that eleven people viewed without bothering to post a response.

Hi Garry and welcome. Sorry you find yourself here.
Just thought that I would mention LS's post as quoted above. This is a public forum and therefore anyone can view your post (without registering as a member). This means that anyone googling something like "false rape allegation" or "support for rape survivors" - yes, we try to do both - will be directed here. Some people will read posts for days before summoning the courage to register and post.

About 2 years ago this site changed so that only members can post. This is because we had some "guests" posting unhelpful comments; sometimes downright nasty posts. However, the site remains open to the public view, so the number of viwes your post has attracted reflects all those as well as members.

With regard to your request for advice: I echo what the others have said. This female cannot make the decision to drop charges! She can tell plod/CPS that she doesn't want to give evidence, but she doesn't have the power to "drop" charges. This is quite common for False Accusers - they will sometimes claim that they decided to "drop" the charge because they didn't want to go through the trauma of a trial. In actual fact a Rape case can proceed to trial without the victim giving evidence.

In your OP you said that the police have not tried to contact you about this - are you sure this female is telling the truth? If she had reported it you should have been arrested and questioned about it by now (although delays are common). Are you sure she has actualy gone to the police?

Stay strong. Keep coming back.

[garry41]

hi guys
thanks for the replies,safron yes she reported it to the police they have interviewed my witness.
he phoned me yesterday to tell me the police had been in touch again to ask if he had seen this girl again because she as changed her number and they can't get in touch with her,what is she playing at?

garry

[Verity]

Oh where, oh where can she be?

she has changed her number and they can't get in touch with her. garry

Well I wonder why she would do that and not inform the police of the change?
Doesn't the OIC have her address? Hasn't he gone round to see if she is there?


After all, if she was scared of intimidation etc and wanted to change her number the police would either assign a new one for her or put a tap on the phone to log all incoming calls and tracer and voice recording equipment.

I hope the red flag has gone up for the investigator and now sees this for what it is.

[garry41]

have still not heard anything from the police

garry

[Shatteredhusband]

Garry the waiting is definitely the worst. I have been doing it now for four and a half months. Try to find something to take your mind off of it. Easier said than done, I know. I find the cinema a decent distraction. Couple of good movies out.

[garry41]

falsely accused

hi everyone
well it as been over 4 months and the police have still not contacted me,but still cannot relax.
what do you guys think?is it still possible that i may hear from them after this length of time.

garry

[RFLH]

I expect they've cleared off on holiday - I'm sure that its cold comfort to know that they will be in contact, at some point.

[largactyl1]

Hi there, I'm so sorry that you have this hanging over your head. Would talking to a solicitor about it help - to find out where you stand and to have a Brief ready if the police call?
Jen

[garry41]

falsely accused

hi everyone
its been almost six months now and i have still not been contacted by the police,surely if they were going to do something i would of heard by now.
what do you guys think should i just try and forget it now.

garry