ex wife's accusations and procedures after bail

[worried123]

Hi, I am after some advice as to what will happen next in my situation. I will try to be brief.

Was married for over 10 years, divorced several years ago, remarried and very happy. After struggling to get access to see my children (who live with ex 100 miles away) I applied for a contact order.

I was then accused of domestic violence in my previous marriage and physically abusing one of my children. This was cited as a reason for no contact. Up until this point I had never in my life been accused of any crime or even s traffic violation.

The court ordered a 'finding of fact' for my contact case.. time dragged on..

I was asked to attend a police station in my ex-wife's neighbourhood (100 miles away), I went voluntarily, was arrested for beating my child, interviewed and subsequently balied to appear back at the same station 6 weeks later with restrictions on contacting ex wife and my children. A couple of weeks later the police called me, informed me my bail had been cancelled and they would not be taking it any further.

The contact 'finding of fact' went ahead, 3 days of lies against me, the judgement at the end found none of the accustaions were facts, I went home again thinking my contact case was getting closer to actually letting me see my kids.

A couple of weeks ago a police officer called me, from the same police station as before, asking me to attend. I drove 100 miles to the station, was arrested, and was gobsmacked to learn I had been arrested for rape and anal rape of my ex wife several years ago. I have been released on police bail to attend the same station again in a couple of months (no restrictions this time).

I have a couple of questions, will this accusation affect my contact issues? I can see my ex wife saying to CAFCASS I cannot see my kids because I am a rapist. Also what happens when I return to the police station as last time I was just phoned and told not to bother, do I get charged when I attend or can they just extend my bail ad infinitum?

Appreciate any advice and info.

[Shatteredhusband]

Sorry that you find yourself in this position.

I am going through something similar. Others may be along with more information later.

I think that most people hearing this story will soon think that these allegations are likely to be false and motivated to prevent contact. Unfortunately the police have to do a full investigation which will take time and many of us experience rebailing whilst the investigation is ongoing. You obviously need to discuss with your solicitor but it may well be that her actions are seen by the family court for what they are.

Have you considered seeking a residency order rather than contact order and cite your wife's false allegations as abuse to both you and your children in denying your children contact with their father?

Anyway as I say people more experienced than I may be along soon with better advice and answers to your questions.

[worried123]

Thank you,
No I haven't considered a residency order, I am unsure as to what is involved in changing what I am seeking. Unfortunately I am just being sort of swept along by events I cannot control. I appreciate your comments.

[Saffron]

This is an absolutely transparent case of your ex trying to prevent you having contact with your children and unfortunately happens far often than many people would believe.

It seems that your ex fabricated the physical and domestic abuse accusations to prevent access to your kids. This has failed, so she has gone one step further and accused you of rape and (just to be on the safe side) anal rape.

I don't know very much about family law or the machinations of family courts, so I'm afraid I don't know whether this accusation will affect your chances of getting contact with your kids. I would guess (and it is just a guess) that until the police have concluded their investigation into the "rape" it will prevent your access order progressing any further. Once you are NFAd on these accusations the ball will start rolling again. The police have no choice but to investigate these allegations, no matter how transparently false they are - rape is rightly an extremely serious crime.

However, the fact that she has made previous false allegations against you goes some way to discrediting her. She tried to make you look like an abusive partner and father: it failed, so she has upped the ante as it were, and is now calling you a rapist.

Others will be along shortly with more advice. In the meantime, welcome.

[Shatteredhusband]

Well put Saffron.

I understand that a residency order is you applying for the children to come and live with you.

I am not an expert but as I said I am going through something similar. My solicitor had advised that the family court would put things on hold until the police investigation is complete. I am afraid that will probably take months. Which is more time separated from your children. Do you have a solicitor? If so they should be able to advise you regarding obtaining some contact with your children.

[Rights Fighter]

SH you never cease to amaze me. You are going through such hell at the moment yet you still find time to come on here and the private forum to encourage others. Some just stick to their own thread without a thought for others going through similar trauma.

@ OP: I think that at the moment you should leave the contact/residency issues alone as any further action on your part could spark even more false allegations. The next trick she could attempt to pull out of the hat is abuse (sexual or physical) of the children. Children can be conned into believing something has happened to them if they are told often enough.

Post up which county you are in (do not identify the town as this is an open forum so can be viewed by anybody, including the police) and I will will to find a suitable solicitor who might assist even though you are not yet charged.

Publicly funded solicitors do not get paid before charge so one cannot expect them to work for nothing - although some will offer free advice.

[worried123]

Thank you all for your advice and encouragement. After spending the last hour looking through other threads it has made me appreciate that I am a lot better off than a lot of people and not as isolated as I thought.

[worried123]

Oh I am in NW England btw.

[Corkycat]

Hi worried 123,

i'm so sorry to hear of your situation, it initially sent a chill down my spine because your case absolutely mirrors my own, i mean, EXACTLY the same!

You are not alone and i feel deeply for you. I was charged two weeks after i was bailed and me and my partner are going through hell, but we are taking on board what other say on this site and this is giving us great strength. The way that i am coping is by continuing to work and generally keeping thing as normal as possible, the most important and strongest points to concentrate on are the facts. Keep reminding yourself that you are innocent and that people who lie, will trip themselves up...sooner or later.

Feel empowered (as i do) that you have the truth on your side.

Good luck! Hope you get NFA'd asap!!!

[Rights Fighter]

Oh I am in NW England btw.

That is where the solicitor I work for is - there are other good ones as well. Once you have been on here a few days and posted more you will be able to accept PMs and emails. I'll then be in touch.

[worried123]

Thank you all for your posts.

[Saffron]

I would just like to echo what Rights Fighter said about Shattered Husband....SH, your support is invaluable, and you are always so encouraging and helpful despite what must be a desperately worrying time for you personally. Thank you.

[quinnb]

Hi I went through something similar. Pregnant partner accused me of rape. But it back fired on her and I got custody. So it can happen. Do u have pr for your kids. I.e married and or on birth cert. Makes it easier if u do. U said no bail restrictions on u so push ahead with contact order. The childrens act does give u rights even if u get supervised contact u will still get contact. Do u work if so u may have to represent yourself that won't be easy but not insurmountable. I have lots of experience of family courts so pls ask if u want some advice. Last point residence order almost no chance the courts nearly always go with the resident parent.

[RFLH]

thanks quinnb - your knowledge will be helpful.

[worried123]

Hi, yes i do have PR and I do work. Thanks for your advice.