What to do?

[Standing-Solo]

Hi folks.

I'm here on behalf of a long term friend and his wife. My friend has been falsely accused of raping their eldest daughter and judging by events thus far I seem to be the only one who stands beside them.

I have read many of the back posts on here and found some fantastic advice already but I was wondering if anyone could possibly answer a Q for us perhaps?

At present the situation is that although my friend has been arrested, his statement (and his wife's) taken (on seperate dates), then he was bailed and informed that the police would be in touch after they had made further enquiries ...

Regarding what they should do if the situation goes further, My friends have 2 other children living at home with them normally, their eldest is over 18 and unemployed and is classed as disabled due to reduced mental capacity. This lad suffered oxygen deprivation as a small baby due to a complicated virus, is now estimated to have the mental age of a 14 yr old despite his real age of 21. His younger sister is 14 and fit and healthy.
They both have an elder sister, who left home approx 11 months ago to move in with a female friend. This elder sister is my friend's accuser, she has claimed that my friend (her father) raped her repeatedly over a long period from age 13 - 21 (she is currently 23)

Obviously to go into full detail here would result in my writing something akin to War and Peace, I'm keeping things to a minimum, but should anyone need further info, do please let me know and I'm happy to waffle on....

I am aware, that should this matter be taken seriously by the police and CPS that they will then return to take further statements from all concerned, and also that they will via search warrant enter the family home and take computers and other data storage items, my query is this.....

If they present a search warrant to sieze any family computers there are 3 desktops belonging to 1) family 2) mum and dad upstairs 3) brother in his room. There is also a laptop that belongs to the youngest and she has a notebook that was provided for her through the school and all are online via broadband connection.

The problem is, the brother has access to and has used on a regular basis ALL pc's at home other than the notebook, and he can and does use any pc he chooses, often without supervision and therefore could feasibly have visited porn sites at any time in the past. My friend has admitted to me that he has also browsed a few legit porn sites over the years with his wife on their pc upstairs in the privacy of their bedroom.

Should they remove all pc's from the home prior to any possible further visit with warrant or, due to the son having possibly used any/all and presumably also having possibly browsed porn (although he is somewhat behind he is still a male with normal testosterone issues) or is it possible that because he lives at home and has access to all pc's would this mean that these pc's would be inadmissable in court and therefore no need to be removed from the family home due to the son's diminished responsibility?

Reason I am asking is that although both children are fully aware of what is going on, obviously their parents are trying to keep things as 'normal' as is possible (all things considered) and to remove any or all of the pc's would not only cause the children more stress but also prevent their game playing/web browsing/youngest doing schoolwork etc and thus subsequently cause the children to suffer which their parents are trying to avoid if at all possible.

I'd be extremely grateful if anyone would be so kind as to let me know if they can answer this question as although we can replace all hard drives with new it is a considerably lengthy process and we'd rather not have to go through the rigmarole of that (not to mention the cost to them) unless it is totally necessary.

We'd be extremely grateful for any advice available

[Saffron]

Hi Standing Solo and welcome.

It is possible that Plod may want access to the house's computers, but it depends on the nature of the accuser's claims. If she has alleged that there is correspondence between her father and her to support her claim then they will certainly be seized. Given that she is alleging the "abuse" started when she was 13, the computers may be seized anyway to see if any child porn sites have been accessed (by "child" porn I mean images containing anyone under the age of 18).

If your friend has only been looking at adult porn then there is probably nothing to worry about, although should the case come to court the fact that he used porn sites may be dragged up to blacken his character.

Does each member of the family have individual log-ins? If so the fact that the son has access to all 3 computers will not be an issue - he would have used his own log-in.

I would suggest that replacing all the hard drives/removing computers to a different location could be viewed as "having something to hide" by the police. If your friend has anything on his computers which could help his defence, then make copies of whatever it is and store it away from the home - ideally with his solicitor.

Your friend needs to start thinking of why his daughter would have fabricated these claims - he needs to find a "motive to lie". Is she a drama queen, craving attention and "victim status?" Have they recently had an argument? Is she in financial difficulty? (the compensation for years of sexual abuse can run into thousands of pounds) Has she made any similar allegations in the past?

I am not an expert, but it sounds unlikely that paternal sexual abuse of children would carry on into the victim's 20s. What have the other children said about the situation? Is your friend still living at the family home with the kids? Usually if someone is accused of this kind of crime, the first step taken by the authorities is to remove any other children from the home, or to demand that the accused moves out. If the children are still living with their mum and dad it seems that plod haven't informed Social Services and therefore are perhaps not taking the accuser's statement as gospel.

Others will be along shortly with more advice I am sure. In the meantime, I am glad your friend has you by his side.

[Standing-Solo]

Hello Saffron and many thanks for your speedy reply.

To reply to your post which will of course help others possibly help us here goes...

My friend has only ever looked at 'normal' adult porn, with his wife purely for curiosity's sake They have a healthy happy sexlife despite 25 years of marriage, and consider each to be their 'soulmate'. I have lost count of the times I've seen them sporting the odd lovebite over the past 19 years and they appear to me, even after all these years to be actively interested in each other. They still hold hands even in public and are openly honest to each other.

Sadly because they are not wonderfully computer savvy they normally just have the one login and all use that rather than individual seperate accounts on each pc. It was my idea to replace the drives in the computers as several of them were 2nd hand and could feasibly contain Lord only knows what hidden under formatting etc.

There is nothing (as far as we know) on any computer that could incriminate him. I'm just trying to cover as many bases as we can to protect further distress, and of course I'm aware of the problems with popups on adult sites and knowing Plod will, can and do dig out anything they can to use against those accused and I'm also aware that they can and do (from my own past experience of our local constabulary concerning a driving incident I was involved with a few years back) turn the truth around and make it appear that you lie. Our local West Mercia constabulary are (in my eyes) extremely corrupt (My Solicitor's own words) and do not care about truth...they care about statistics and power. Knowing this I am very concerned of the outcome of this all... Far far too many people end up wrongly convicted and incarcerated as I'm sure we can all agree.

Believe me when I say we have all wracked our brains trying to guess why this girl has made this claim against her dad. But having known her since age 4 and knowing what a spiteful, self centred, conceited, manipulating, greedy, dominant overbearing female she has grown into helps at least me understand her motives possibly a little more than her parents do.

She is the eldest of 3 but had an older brother, who sadly died after a few hours after birth due to having been born prematurely and also having complications regarding immature/incomplete internal organs etc.
She is overbearing, bossy and demanding. She is waaaaaaay over her head in debt (compulsive spender) and has made that known to all and sundry - even to the point of plastering how 'skint' she is on Facebook and asking her friends to pay for things or clear her debt/buy her a holiday etc. (albeit jokingly)
She is a bully, and repeatedly picked on both her sister and her disabled brother when she lived at home, calling him some really nasty names that I'd rather not put in here unless necessary including telling him he should have 'been drowned at birth to save them all from having to live with him' and although her parents would reprimand her for this, sadly they misguidedly presumed she would stop and often took it no further. They do not believe in any physical form of punishment and are at best somewhat weak willed and easily manipulated by their eldest.

Before she moved out about a year ago she readily took her brother shopping up town however to help him spend his DLA money...and would 'buy' things for her brother with his money in her own choice of style/size etc...and then simply 'borrow' the garments at the drop of a hat. She is in my opinion extremely narcissistic and readily tells anyone she meets how she is so much better than anyone else, and will happily insult her parents and total strangers as well. She's a user of people, and I've lost count how many of her friends from school no longer have contact with her as they finally grew up and saw her in her true light.

I've caught her out in lies many times over the years, and I (and her parents) believe she could well be bi-sexual or gay. Confusion about her gender may possibly have something to do with all this (I'm gay myself)(Neither of her parents have any homophobia issues - they were my witnesses at my civil partnership ceremony 5 yrs ago) She's a complete drama queen (moreso than many gay men I've met) and a constant attention seeker too. She has a serious drinking habit (also plastered all over Facebook) and regularily complains of being 'bladdered' and complains about the subsequent tireness that ensues lots of very late nights out and having to work full time.
Prior to her reporting this to the police she made no earlier claims, at least not to her parents and her parents cannot for the life of them understand why she has done this. She did not even bother to confide in her mother about this prior to seeing the police despite the close relationship they had then. Her parents are good people, and will do anything for anyone happily and without need for praise or payment. They are loving parents, and treats all their kids the same way. Or at least did until this all happened as they obviously have no contact with her since this claim. I firmly believe this is her idea to get compensation payout as motive.

Her brother and sister hate her now, neither want any contact with her and both have stated that no such rape or any other form of unnatural physical contact has ever occurred to either of them and both stand firm by their parents' sides.
The father sleeps away from the family home since the claim but still spends time with his wife and the children at home during the day and early evening as much as possible, in an attempt to keep this as normal as they can for the kids but does not allow either child to be left alone at any time with him since this began, even to the point that should his wife need to use the loo, he goes with her to avoid being left with his kids. My own daughter (now 19) has stayed overnight on sleepovers with the younger daughter on several occasions and has freely told me that there was never any 'hanky panky' that she either witnessed or was subjected to. I trust my own judgement (and that of my kids) and my daughter and my other grownup children are all horrified and cannot believe this of my friend. They've all know him and seen him and the rest of the family as they grew up and ALL state that they do not believe he has done anything wrong and that this is, as I and my partner also think, fabricated.

C.I.D. did tell the mother when she was interviewed on video that she should bear in mind that this is still 'allegations' made by the girl, and they are just 'making enquiries' and the younger girl has been interviewed at school with an adult representative present but I am unaware if that person was from Social Services or simply a teacher.

I am just praying that Plod will see sense and realise what a nasty piece of work this girl is, what a decent law abiding man her father is and simply drop the case but am more than happy to attend court if needs be and stand by his side to attest to his good character and honesty. There are so many little things that this girl has said and done over the past few weeks since this began that poke massive holes in her story including her asking her father to help her get her car MOT'd and driving it there and back for her just 2 days before he was carted off to the police station for interview regarding this/her mother suffers severe anxiety and sleeps very little/leaving her houseshare friend's two little girls aged 6 & 8 sleeping over at her parents house in their sole care so they could go out drinking/ father undergoing chemo for weeks for bowel cancer 8 years ago (which he is fortunately in remission from at present) How on earth could you rape someone during that! I myself (and my partner) clearly heard her say just before Christmas just gone that her and her mother should "Get rid of Dad and then us girls can live in peace and not have to share the tv remote" Now that may well have been a joke, but in light of this all now... rings an awful lot of bells to me. Her joy (should she be fortunate enough to actually get this rubbish to stick) will be short lived however... I doubt her mother will ever speak to her again after this.

Thank you for the opportunity to vent and share, apologies for the length of this post and more importantly, hopefully glean more sound advice to offer my friends.

[largactyl1]

Hi Solo, I too was in the position of supporting a dear friend through the same sort of nightmare and it is so good that he has you for support - and his wife also as these sorts of allegations really tear the falsely accused apart with all of the "Whys" and the "How could she" and the soul searching and the looking for answers - at the same time as being petrified as to what will happen, and the feeling soiled somehow, to be accused of a sex crime you haven't committed I think is the most terrible of things.

I am sorry that you have found yourself in the position of having to find your way here, but I'm glad that you have - people here have a lot of experience of all angles of the situation and it is a good place to vent - with people who understand.
Kind regards
Jen

[Saffron]

Well, she certainly seems to fit the mould of most false accusers.
I would suggest that you monitor any social networking sites she uses and take screenshots of anything that might help. Unfortunately her previous "bad character" is unlikely to be admissible as evidence but it is useful to have it just in case. Make a list of all the provable lies she has told in the past and of her manipulative/underhand behaviour.

The computers are second hand...does your friend have receipts for them? If there is anything dodgy on there, a computer expert will be able to tell when it was downloaded, so it should show that it was already on there when your friend purchased the hard drive. (I am always nervous about second hand computers for this exact reason. We have one, and I have made sure the receipt is kept in a safe place). Unfortunately most people don't think of this until they are in this situation.

The positives are that his other two children are adamant that these "rapes" didn't take place, and that nothing like that has happened to them. IF your friend had raped his eldest from the age of 13 it would indicate a tendency towards paedophilia and would seem likely that he would have "moved on" to his other daughter at a similar age.

I would also suggest compiling a list of people who are prepared to provide character references for your friend. These would ideally be recognised "professionals" such as teachers, doctors, lawyers, etc but they don't have to be.

As I said before, Your friend is lucky to have such strong support from you.

[Rights Fighter]

Should they remove all pc's from the home prior to any possible further visit with warrant or, due to the son having possibly used any/all and presumably also having possibly browsed porn (although he is somewhat behind he is still a male with normal testosterone issues) or is it possible that because he lives at home and has access to all pc's would this mean that these pc's would be inadmissable in court and therefore no need to be removed from the family home due to the son's diminished responsibility?

As has already been said, if you remove the computer(s) the police will find out the computers exist in any event. The son having learning difficulties does not necessarily render him with "diminished responsibility". Further, even if he does come under "diminished responsibility" that would not preclude the computers from becoming evidence or even him being prosecuted if he has downloaded or viewed CP.

Every keystroke on a computer leaves an electronic footprint with dates and times. So in the event the son HAS downloaded child pornography it might well be established who downloaded it if water tight alibis are available for those dates and times.

[Casehardened]

Hi Standing Solo,

With regard to seizing the computers for forensic analysis, I would surmise that if the police intended to do this they would have already obtained a warrant and done so at the time of his arrest, purely for the reason that a guilty person would immediately destroy any incriminating evidence as soon as they were out on bail!

However it may be that the accuser may yet make further allegations involving the use of the computer which may then result in them being looked out.

I agree with Saffron and Rights Fighter that disposing of the equipment or fitting brand new hard drives would make it seem as if there is something to hide. I would suggest that if he is worried about anything he might have downloaded, to delete it & then wipe the free space on the drives and the Windows swap file (normal deletion doesn't actually remove the file or image, only the header)

If he's fairly clued up on computers, he could use EnCase to search the hard drives and there are several free utilities around for deletion with wiping (eg. BCWipe)

[Rights Fighter]

Hi Standing Solo,

I would suggest that if he is worried about anything he might have downloaded, to delete it & then wipe the free space on the drives and the Windows swap file (normal deletion doesn't actually remove the file or image, only the header)

If he's fairly clued up on computers, he could use EnCase to search the hard drives and there are several free utilities around for deletion with wiping (eg. BCWipe)

All of that would carry electronic footprints and would be viewed with suspicion by the police.

One guy I tried to help with an appeal had a registry cleaner found on his computer called ScrubXP. the trial judge went to town on that one and told the jury that he had deliberately installed that programme and had used it to "scrub out" indecent images of children.

ScrubXP cannot be used like that and anybody who knows the programme would be well aware of that. However, members of the jury may not know and this was used, very effectively, against him.

Best to do absolutely nothing because then he cannot be accused of trying to "hide" something.

[Casehardened]

One guy I tried to help with an appeal had a registry cleaner found on his computer called ScrubXP. the trial judge went to town on that one and told the jury that he had deliberately installed that programme and had used it to "scrub out" indecent images of children.

That's harsh, using a registry cleaner is merely good houskeeping (as is occasional wiping/reformatting/defragmentation of the drive)

Judges too often seem to 'take sides' instead of keeping the balance between prosecution and defence, but hopefully this helped the appeal

[Rights Fighter]

Apparently it is no ground for appeal despite the fact that the judge was particularly harsh in summing up plus she actually lied to the jury several times. 8 Images were found on his computer, not 800, or 8,000 or 800,000 but EIGHT.

She said that he admitted to spending hours hunched over the computer looking for and downloading child pornography. Well he wasn't very good at it was he - with the magnificent total of EIGHT. He'd been using one of those free shareware downloading programmes. These are notorious for adding in unwanted stuff.

I could not believe my eyes when I went through the trial paperwork.

It is easier to convict an innocent person than it is to appeal those convictions....

[Standing-Solo]

Thank you once again folks for all your helpful replies

The reason I asked about the drives etc was, that although the father has freely admitted to me that he and his wife have watched the odd video here and there over the years since they got their pc they are worried (probably my fault for mentioning it) that it might be possible that some popup containing cp images or other may have been registered by the pc itself. He hasn't actually saved anything from any site he's visited nor has he saved any images whatsoever.

Obviously as his son is a bit slow and to avoid him further stress (he isn't handling this at all well) he hasn't been asked whether or not he has downloaded anything but I'm trying to cover every eventuality here for them.

I'm only too aware of how cps and judges can manipulate juries (should it come to that) and how innocent people do end up behind bars and knowing this I'm trying to help them be able to prove his innocence as best as possible. He has a duty solicitor allocated to his case and sadly cannot afford to pay for one as he is unemployed and they have no savings. Please understand I'm not implying by any means that the duty brief will not give him as much support as a privately sought one would, but from my own past experiences with our local Plod I dread to think of how this could work out for him.

He's a good man, and a loving father, but should this go as far as it can, then I know for certain his wife will most certainly suffer a breakdown as a result (she has lots of health problems and her mental health isn't that great either) and would most likely end up in a mental institution should she have to cope without her hubby, for no matter how short a period so obviously I am wracking my few grey cells to help them prove his innocence as much as I can. This is where my Q about the pc's came in. Nobody has downloaded anything, but having visited these sites could feasibly have done so without realising.

With regard to the pc's I myself regularily fully formatted and re-installed their Windows for them. Neither have any knowledge of computers and even have problems understanding the difference between virii and spyware (the usual reason they end up being formatted) and over the yrs the kids have totally b***sed things up so often it was simpler to wipe/redo rather than spend hours painfully removing spyware and the odd virus. The time thing is simply as I myself am a full time carer for my partner so need to be free to do other things and a quick wipe etc is so much faster for me. I could easily remove their drive and replace with new freshly bought, but as was mentioned in a post above, this may well suggest 'dodgy dealings' and of course we don't need that.

It's reassuring that the Plod didn't show up with a warrant, I suppose that at least suggests some hope or they surely would have done that already. I do know that there has been no mention of the pc at all by either the arresting officer, or anyone else at the station, but of course time will tell. From what I gather it is simply a case of the daughter went to the station and told them her father had repeatedly raped her at home. No mention of any other claims have been mentioned thus far by either the duty solicitor or the police themselves and I'm praying it stays like that, it's bad enough to think that she has done this to her folks at all... if you only knew how much they have both done for their kids over the years and how many sacrifices they've made trying to make their kids happier it's so hard not to drive to her place and slap her! (obviously I'm not quite that stupid but I can't swear to not having had the thought)


Thanks again for all your help, it's great to know there are people out there that really do care

[witsend]

question

Dear Standingsolo
Have your friends been to their GP to explain what has happened? If his wife is already suffering from poor health I think that it would be wise to get them to go to their GP. As for the son with learning difficulties I can only begin to imagine the turmoil he is suffering with what is happening. Does he have any outside support workers? I only ask this question because our son, who has learning difficulties, was himself falsely accused last year and it was a nightmare to get any support for him!
This female sounds like a truly awful person and it's a good job the family have such a supportive friend as you. Keep coming back and we will do our best to advise.

[Standing-Solo]

Hi witsend To answer your question ~ Yes, Initally the shock of being arrested and the subsequent stress it all involved really hit my friend for six. The psychological trauma really got to him so I called their GP the day after it all started. He came over and after we'd explained it all and he checked my friend and his wife over he prescribed some tablets that helped him a great deal. (I'm hoping that their Doctor will also provide him with a character ref as he's known them over 20 years. They are due to see him early next week so will ask him then)

He only took them for a few days, and is now past the shock stage and into the 'anger at the gall of it all' stage so no longer needing meds to help him get through the day.

Although nobody from the Plod bothered to let them know about things like the Samaritans etc that can offer an unbiased ear to bend I took the liberty of taking them to our local branch and talking did help them both a great deal, however Social Services rang yesterday to ask permission to talk to the youngest just to make sure she's coping ok and the very sympathetic lady that came round late afternoon was horrified when she learned they had no other support barring myself and my partner and assured me she will find out who offers counselling and will contact me later today so at least they have professionals who are qualified to deal with this. I'm fully aware that, although I stand beside them and more than willing to lend my ear I know they do need qualified help too.

I'm sorry to read of your son's experiences and hope that he is coping with the trauma of it all. Sadly so many never realise how much more difficult things can be if you already have medical problems to cope with let alone this kind of false accusation piled on top

[witsend]

Dear Standing solo
Your friends are very lucky to have you supporting them and I am really glad you are helping though this AWFUL ordeal. It sounds as if they are doing all "the right things" GP, Samaritans etc. The other children must be both horrified and terrified by what is happening. Thankyou for asking about our son, no he has not "coped" and we are still trying to rebuild his life after nearly 12 months. People without special needs have real problems dealing with this false allegation, you only have to read through some of the other post to realise this, let alone if you have a learning difficulty.

[Standing-Solo]

Indeed witsend, sadly those with learning difficulties cannot understand all the complicated stuff that ensues an allegation like this let alone see why it happened in the first place. That has to affect them far more severely than someone without any problems in comprehending day to day affairs.
Hopefully with you helping him your son will eventually be able to move past this and continue with his life. He has your support, and will obviously trust you to see him through this all. Kudos to you for sticking by him.