Help me! Falsely Accused of Rape!

[OldJoe]

Thank you for your help, family is praying that this will be NFA'd or she will drop the charges completely.
I've told the Bail office where I am staying and have been fully open with them.
the officer on the phone was very supportive and "said don't worry, sit tight Joe we'll get to the bottom of this"
So hopefully they can see i'm an innocent man.
The impression I am getting is that they can see i'm a decent lad and wouldn't hurt a soul.

[OldJoe]

Also just out of curiosity, how long ago would she of reported this if I got arrested Friday ?

[Midnight and Worried]

My Grandson was arrested about six hours after the report was made to the Police,it was made at 8.30pm and he was arrested at 1.30am next morning.

[largactyl1]

Tony was arrested the next day after the accusation. He had no idea when this assault was supposed to have taken place.

[OldJoe]

Having ups and downs, so scared, then thinking its going to be ok.
just told my girlfriend who I was kinda with at the time, she was not impressed.

[OldJoe]

She asked me why I was staying with my brother for a bit, I had to tell her.

[Midnight and Worried]

It does come as a bit of a shock to hear something like this but at least it's said now and hopefully she can see it for what it is and will be supportive.

I know it isn't easy but try not to worry too much,talk things over with your Brother if you can and do come back here,you will get all the support you need plus lots of good practical advice.

[OldJoe]

I'm waking up at 5 am everyday in worry.
this is killing me.

[Casehardened]

I'm waking up at 5 am everyday in worry.
this is killing me.

Something I've mentioned before but worth repeating:

The police's own guidelines (from their website www.askthe.police.uk/ ) say that if a woman alleges rape then the individual she accuses will be arrested and interviewed.

At this point I always want to add 'no matter how unlikely her story is' but nevertheless this is a spin-off from the previous governments determination to increase the rate conviction rate.

The shock of being arrested and interviewed is something one never really gets over, truly a life-changing experience, but it's by no means a prelude to a spell behind bars.

An arrest is just part of the investigation into whether the woman is telling the truth or not.

[OldJoe]

I don't know how much longer I can carry on, going to the GP won't help, pills don't do anything.
I don't know how much longer I can stay like this, I'm so close to ending it all.

[Shatteredhusband]

Oldjoe,

I am afraid the early morning rises are par for the course and I still struggle to get sleep three months after the allegation. The best thing is trying to get a nap if you can in the day or get an early night. I am sure your sleep pattern will return to normal afterwards.

Probably best that you were honest with your girlfriend, it could obviously go either way with the infidelity but imagine how bad it would have been if she had heard about the allegation from someone else. I think that there must be few if any of us who have been through this who would ever consider a one night stand, so ironically you will probably be one of the least likely guys to cheat on her again.

Anyway, you do sound better. Still might be worth going to the GP, in case in the future you need some doctor's letter if your studies suffer due to the stress. If he has some documented visits about this, he would be more able to write something if you ever need it. He will keep confidentiality, so would probably just refer to it as personal crisis or something.

Best wishes
SH

[Shatteredhusband]

Just seen your latest post.

I went through the same feelings, everyone I have spoken to who has gone through it feels the same way.

You were so much more positive earlier. That is because you realised the positives in your particular case.

[Shatteredhusband]

I really got a lot from speaking to the Samaritans.

I also realised that if I did anything silly that people would just assume I was guilty and couldn't live with it.

You cannot let this girl win. In a few months, this could be behind you and you can move on with your life.

Please promise that if you feel suicidal that you will speak with your family or the Samaritans.

[OldJoe]

I know, but I can't bare to think about if it goes to court.
I'm going crazy, what happens if I actually go crazy? I don't think I'm far off it.

[Shatteredhusband]

Oldjoe, I know the thing which I found most difficult was the waiting, worrying and wishing it was over with. Is that what you are struggling with at the minute or is there something else?