Help me! Falsely Accused of Rape!

[Shatteredhusband]

Right, you need to arrange to see a GP. If you feel more comfortable and are away from home, go back to your parents. Today if you can. It is better to talk with them face to face. There is no easy way to do this, but you need to do it. They will be shocked not at you just the situation but will want to help and support you.

Go to a GP. if you have one near your parents take a few days off, you cannot concentrate on course work at the minute. Your GP may be able to arrange counselling or prescribe something to help with anxiety. He can also provide a sick note if needed for now. The first two weeks are the worst, and it will get bad again in the last week before bail, but getting back to college/uni may help take your mind off of it.

Your parents can help you decide how much you share with college. I think you so need to think this through. I have always been of the opinion that honesty is the best policy but some people may treat you with prejudice, so it is not an easy call. I would not share it with college without thinking it through with your parents.

Keep coming back even if you are at home.
SH

[OldJoe]

I live with my mum and her friend.
I suffer from anxiety as it is.
I don't know how much longer I can continue like this.

[OldJoe]

What will happen on the 6th when I go back?

[Shatteredhusband]

The options in April are

1 you could be charged

2 you could be NFA'd - no further action (most likely option I think)

3 you could be rebailed whilst the investigation continues/CPS decides

They may also no crime it if they have evidence that no crime occurred.

[Shatteredhusband]

I am still going through this and am just driving back to my parents right now. I am twice your age, but have been through the same emotional turmoil you are.

I won't lie and tell you that it will get easy. Just after a couple of weeks you will find that you settle into living with it. You will still have all the what if's, worries, fears etc. You will just get periods where you can do your course work between times.

Key to this is the support you need. You need to go home, tell your mum. You will be relieved when you have shared it. Then GP in the next couple of days.

[witsend]

oldjoe, lets take one step at a time, then it's easier to deal with. PLEASE talk to your Mum. As you already suffer from anxiety are you on any medications for it? If not then you really really do need to see your GP. It's not going to be easy to explain what has happened to anyone but you do need this support. As SH rightly said the first few weeks are horrendous, shock, disbelief, fear, anger...a whole host of emotions. If you get the chance read through some of the other threads as you will be able to get useful information from them. Just keep coming back here

[OldJoe]

how am I going to get through this ?
what if I go to prison? its like 7 years! I have done nothing wrong
it will ruin my life.

[Shatteredhusband]

Oldjoe,

I know how you feel. We have all gone though this. Absolute disbelief, trying to understand why it has happened to you, looking at the scariest outcomes.

Witsend is right, you should try and read through some other posts. I found that really useful. A lot of them are similar scenarios to you. Boy meets girl, consensual sex, false allegation. The crux of the issue is consent and I am sure you will have been questioned at length by the police on that issue. If you try and find some similar cases you will be able to see how many of these result in NFA.

I know that you feel so low right now but you will get through this. I felt suicidal a couple of times at the beginning and even phoned the Samaritans which was a great help. You need people around you who can support you. As I say I am off back to my parents today for just that sort of support.

You will get through this and we will do what we can to help in any way we can.
SH

[OldJoe]

Thank you so much for all your help.
Lets hope for the best outcome.

[witsend]

oldjoe, try to deal with one thing at a time, we know you brain is racing with the "what iff's" and this is going to be difficult, very difficult. Is your Mum up??? PLEASE please go and talk to her, really that is the FIRST thing you need to do.

[OldJoe]

I really can't Could I not leave it till / if it goes to court? then tell her?

[OldJoe]

Will I know before the 6th of April if it gets NFA? or will I have to wait till the day?

[Shatteredhusband]

An NFA could happen at any time. Equally you could be rebailed after 6th April. Sorry it is probably not what you want to hear but I do not want to mislead you.

Think about it this way, would you want any member of your family to go through this alone. Telling your mum will be the best step you take in this process.

You can do it and you need to. This was not your fault, you are innocent; any mum would want to know when their son is hurting so badly because of the lies of another.

[OldJoe]

Why would an NFA happen?

[Shatteredhusband]

That is when the police decide to take no further action. Usually it means there is either insufficient evidence to charge or that there is evidence this was a false allegation but may be insufficient evidence to charge the false accuser.