Help me! Falsely Accused of Rape!

[wednesday]

Oldjoe,

I have just read through the whole of this thread and I can completely empathise with your situation. I received a phonecall at work on wednesday this week saying I had to leave and go immediately to the police station. As you can imagine, I was so scared and I still am. When I got there I was formally arrested on suspicion of rape of a girl I had met and slept with on the preceding friday.

Similarly to your case, I have no doubt that it was completely consensual and she had been all over me at the bar we were at beforehand. However, I am told she has no memory of the night and so the police are also investigating date-rape.

I am so distraught by these allegations, especially as everything seemed so normal during the night and the morning after. We even talked in the morning about seeing each other again. So I am dumbfounded as to why she is pressing ahead with this and I only hope she knows the pain and distress she is putting me through.

I am also always thinking about the worst but my friends who were out with me that night (who are now being interviewed), parents and my manager at work who I have told are being very supportive which has helped greatly.

Like you, I am also a young man, at 21 and just out of university, starting my first job and I am **** scared that this is going to ruin my life. Wednesday was by far the worst day of my life... I can hardly explain the crushing horror and fear. And it didn't help that I was in the police station for over 6 hours because it was so busy, being called 'prisoner' and having to sit in a cell for over half an hour.

Reading this thread has helped me a lot. I can see how strong you have been to tell your parents and seek help. Please do not give up. I went to work the day after I was arrested (yesterday) and, though I felt horrible inside, it actually helped to take my mind off it as I could push it away by doing other things and try to be normal. Having said that, I am taking today and Monday off to try to sort myself out.

I've also been encouraged by everybody else posting in this thread, how supportive everyone's been and its reassuring to know that I'm not alone in having these kinds of allegations made against me. I know the comments apply to you and your case, but they have also been a lifeline for me - so thank you all so much.

Keep us posted on how you are getting on,

Wednesday

[RFLH]

I'm sorry to see you here wednesday, but really pleased that this thread and site is helping you.

Sadly it seems to be the same thing happening over and over again.

Others will be along soon to welcome you and offer advice, but most of it has already been said!

Keep posting - it does help and if you've any questions - this is the place to get them answered.

[OldJoe]

Been to Dr's today got some stuff sorted out.
Just trying to focus on all the positives, and just recalling what my solicitor has said to me over the phone makes me feel a lot better.

Returning home tomorrow I think.
Gunna go back to work next week too.

[witsend]

Well done you for going to Dr's and sounding so much more positive you've really come a long way in such a short time

[Shatteredhusband]

Joe, well done for going to the GP.

You do right to get back to work. It will help a lot to make the time go more quickly. Also you need to try and get back to as normal a life as possible.

This episode of your life will not last for ever. Hold onto the positives.

What film did you see last night at the cinema.

[OldJoe]

It was called NEDS, I don't know if its out in mainstream cinema yet, but I advise you to see it, its absolutely brilliant.

What did you get prescribed from the GP btw? (if you don't mind me asking.)

[Shatteredhusband]

I have not taken any medication but some tablets can certainly help with the anxiety and stress.

Did the GP prescribe you something to help with anxiety or insomnia?

[Shatteredhusband]

I will try and catch the film, seen some trailers.

[OldJoe]

Gave me something for both.

[Shatteredhusband]

Well done Joe, you are doing all the right things and I hope you are feeling a bit better.

[OldJoe]

I'm feeling a bit better,
they've spoken to all the witnesses involved now.
Got a letter from the solicitor today saying they were going to pressure the police to sort this out over the next few weeks.

[Rights Fighter]

Well done Joe, you are doing all the right things and I hope you are feeling a bit better.

SH you too are doing considerably well too, considering what you are going through. Well done yourself for supporting others as well as having to put up with your current situation.

[Shatteredhusband]

Thanks RF. I have so appreciated the support of others throughout my own false allegations and am only too happy to help support others who find themselves in a similar situation.

Joe, glad you are a bit better. When you going back to work?

[OldJoe]

Monday I go back to work.
agh I'm getting sick of this waiting game.

[Shatteredhusband]

I know the waiting is a killer. Everyone recognizes that.

Going back to work will help but you will have difficulty concentrating like you used to. At least there will be a bit more structure to your day and it will go a bit quicker.

Keep focusing on the positives. You have made all the right steps. In the last six days you have told your mum and now have your family's full support, you have had some proper legal advice and the solicitors are very positive about the case, and you have been to a GP who has given you something to help you through the stress of all this.

You will come through this and it will be easier now that you have taken the above steps. It would have been twenty times worse to be still trying to carry this burden alone. I have a really positive feeling about your case.

Best wishes
SH