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  • #16
    Originally posted by Shatteredhusband View Post

    He also said when I had previously asked that they had no more questions to ask me at the minute. He also said that they may not even need to interview me again. Do some people get charged without the potential benefit of a second interview?
    I also assumed that there would normally be more than one interview (probably through watching too many episodes of the Bill) but when I queried this, the answer was 'oh no, you've had your chance to say what you want'

    In fact I was 'invited' to a second interview because my accuser had requested a second interview and made further allegations against me, and I was questioned about these.

    My OIC indicated what these allegations were, never directly to me, but via family members, thus highlighting the importance of not antagonizing the officers. I therefore went to this interview well prepared with answers to the questions that I knew were coming. Contrary to my first round, I felt in control, not in the least because I entered via the front entrance of the station, rather than being escorted from a cell, it seemed like a business meeting or job interview.

    In my case I still feel the second interview tipped the scales in my favour and led to the NFA. It's more difficult for you because you have no idea of what your wife actually said, all I could suggest is a little guesswork at this point, after all you know her better than anyone, (look on it as a macabre version of Mr & Mrs) and some judicious prompting of the OIC at the next interview.
    'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

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    • #17
      Thank you casehardened.

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      • #18
        Feeling a bit more optimistic tonight. I spend two and a half hours with my son this evening. That always gives me a significant boost especially as I know this false allegation was because I wanted residency for my son and to leave my wife for his protection. The irony is that I am now homeless and he has been returned to my wife. Social services say that they will ensure his safety but I have little faith in them. The police have been very fair and I believe even handed but SS seem very prejudiced and I feel that they have made up their mind what they feel should happen. They have cancelled three of my appointments with them at the last minute. I fully intend to complain when this false allegation is dealt with. At least I have a great family solicitor, she has already initiated divorce proceedings and I think she will be formidable in relation to a residency application.

        Probably also optimistic at the realization that this should be my last night in a Travel Lodge. I hopefully get the keys to my rented house tomorrow. My solicitor has arranged for me to collect some of my possessions on Saturday morning. So hopefully I should be busy through the weekend. That brings me to my first day back at work on Monday. It has to be faced. I will tell those I trust that I am going through a rather messy divorce which is definitely true.

        I almost ran out of petrol tonight whilst driving around. I found a garage open in the middle of nowhere just as the car was running on fumes. It has been my first really good bit of luck for a while, so who knows maybe my luck is changing and Christmas will not be so bleak after all.

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        • #19
          Good to hear you sounding more positive, SH, and so happy that you were allowed to spend some time with your son. It must be heartbreaking to be separated from him.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by gareth589;12803
            My advice with the Solicitor is they may seem to be doing little while on bail, this is down to Legal Aid not kicking in till charged, if you want a more call it pro active approach where your on the attack, you will have to pay for this, A guide my legal bill [I
            for a solicitor at the station x2 and approx 8hours of telephone work cost me £1300.00.[/I]

            That is rather expensive. Further, representation at the police station is still free (although funding is being cut drastically so in some areas the "legal advice" is often now done by telephone prior to interview).

            There are still some sols who will actually give advice for free although these are few and far between.
            People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

            PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

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            • #21
              I have now engaged another solicitor. The firm was recommended by FASO. I appreciate that there will be costs and that without full disclosure, it will be difficult to demonstrate where my wife has been lying. However I just could not face the publicity associated with being charged and I need to feel that I have done everything to expose her lies and rebuff these false allegations.

              On the plus side I am writing this from my new (rented) house rather than the Travelodge. But just to show that every silver lining does indeed have a cloud, the house is slightly colder than it is outside at the minute. Principally due to the fact the boiler is not working. Need to call the landlord in the morning. Hoping to collect some of my possessions from the matrimonial home tomorrow, so hopefully it will be a lot more comfortable tomorrow night.

              I really have learned so much from this forum. If I ever find myself in the position of clearing my name, I fully intend to continue to participate so that one day I may be able to provide the same help and support that I have received.

              Thanks

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              • #22
                No more silver lining

                The silver lining is a very distant memory. The clouds are back again today.

                My solicitor had arranged for me to collect my possessions from the matrimonial home at 9:30 this morning. My wife would be out from 9-12. A police officer would meet me there so that my wife could not come back and make up more accusations. No heating in the house, so I set off early as it is warmer just driving around in the car. About 08:50 I got a call from a police officer. I thought they were just confirming the time. I was asked not to visit the house today. She said the police had found some unexplained bruises on my son. My first reaction was how bad is it. I asked "is he alright?" and was told he was fine.

                On the phone I asked if I could collect my things for work tomorrow as I am back to work on Monday and the officer said that I would probably be contacted by the police later today.

                My initial feeling was that I had raised all of my concerns about Callum during my interview and subsequently on many occasions with social services. I could not believe at the time he had been returned to an alcoholic mother who has been incapable of looking after him on so many occasions. Only after The police officer hung up, did I think I hope that my wife is not suggesting that I caused these bruises. I saw my son thursday evening. I picked him up from school. He had a dirty nappy, so I took him straight to Sainsbury's and changed him. His nappy area was so red and tender even with the sensitive wipes. I then took him into town. We bumped into one of the carers from the respite place he goes to and callum was pleased to see her. I took him to see the moving posters which he loves and then to Costa Coffee for our usual. We went to see the lifts and escalators in the shopping centre which he loves. I then took him to see father Christmas and bought a toy mobile phone for him. He had another dirty nappy so I took him back to Sainsbury's and changed him again. Again he was very tender but fine in himself when he had a clean nappy on. I took him to social services and we played for a while with the toys there. Lego, wooden railway and books. I told the social worker that I had had to change him twice and that his nappy area looked very red and tender. She told me that she would pass it on to my wife. I did not notice any bruises on his legs but did not take off his jumper or socks when I changed him.

                My wife would have to undress him for bath time/bedtime that night and I guess that she did not notice any bruises then. Maybe i am just being paranoid but i am just worried that given the

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                • #23
                  It sounds like she is scraping the barrel. A medical expert can usually "age" bruises if that is necessary.
                  People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                  PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

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                  • #24
                    Sorry pressed submit by mistake. I am really paranoid given my wife's allegations. I hope that no one thinks that the bruises have been caused by me.

                    I was living in a hotel so I had to take callum out to public places which is reassuring as it means we must have been on CCTV almost all of the time.

                    I am also really worried that my wife may be struggling to cope as she was before and also that she can be a bit Jeckyll and Hyde when she has been drinking. I worry that she may have hit him and I know that she is not above lying to the police.

                    I spoke to my solicitor and he has been very supportive. If I have not heard back by lunchtime, I may call the police as I need to know what has happened. Not knowing is so much more stressful. I know that they have said he is fine but someone must have been concerned enough to involve the police.

                    My parents have been so supportive but they are also worried about their grandson and I am trying not to worry them even more.

                    I will try getting back to the police at lunchtime.

                    I am just writing a timeline for everything I did with my son on Thursday.

                    It never rains but it pours.

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                    • #25
                      You seem to be doing all the right things - so fingers crossed its her they're looking at this time - and not you.
                      And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the world round .... and laughed and laughed and laughed ..

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                      • #26
                        Thank you for both for your support. I used to be so resilient, I just keep torturing myself with what ifs. I tried to contact the officer who spoke to me but they were unable to contact her on her radio. I just desperately want to see my son to know he is alright.

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                        • #27
                          Saw the police this afternoon. Turns out that my son had some small bruises on his upper arms identified by the carers whilst he was in respite. I was able to give them details of my time spent with him and also had the opportunity to voice my concerns that my wife struggles to cope with our son. Apparently she was sober when the police saw her. I am so amazed that she has managed to control her drinking for three weeks. She was unable to explain the bruises. Police explained they could have happened at school or whilst in respite from some of the other older children. They were not convinced that they would find the cause. I still worry about my son so much but at least he will be in respite care for the rest of the weekend, so he is safe for now.

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                          • #28
                            Shatteredhusband, did you get my email?
                            People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                            PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

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                            • #29
                              Thanks

                              Just responded, thank you.

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                              • #30
                                I'm sorry you have this extra worry about your dear son. I can't imagine what it must be like for you. Thinking of you and sending positive thoughts.

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