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Firstly I would like to just say a huge thank you to everyone who has set up and continues to support people like me who have been falsely accused of such a terrible crime. I do not feel that I could have been accused of anything worse and the more that I have read, this is one of the few crimes where a conviction can be secured by the testimony of an accomplished liar (a real worry in my situation). I have read so many of these posts over the last two weeks and can really sympathize with so many who have been affected by FRA's but I have not so far come across any marital rapes being discussed.
I was arrested at my work over two weeks ago. I could not believe it when the police officers told me that my wife had made an allegation that she had been raped by me and claimed that this had happened episodically over the past couple of years of our marriage. My world was turned upside down. I was arrested on a Friday afternoon at 13:45 and spent 29 hours in custody. The duty solicitors were both good and although they are paid to believe me I feel they really did realize how justice was being perverted. The police also seemed very reasonable. Almost all of the questioning was background related to my son who is disabled and my wife who is alcoholic (inpatient detox. twice, lost her licence, could tell lies for Britain). We covered our relationship from first date to this year including a very detailed examination of our love life. In only the last twenty minutes was I questioned about the allegations themselves. This surprised the duty solicitor.
The disclosure was minimal but the only alleged date was the night of 23rd October. When I saw this I thought great she has made a huge mistake with her lies as I was in Barcelona from noon on the 23rd. The police said that the date was correct but it must have been before I went. I was at the airport for 04:45 and left home at 04:20. It still sounds incredible that I would somehow get up earlier than absolutely necessary to carry out a rape. I told the police that we had not had sex on the 23rd and when questioned also not on the previous night.*
Throughout my trip To Barcelona I received texts from her telling me how much she missed me and that she wished she was there with me (even acouple of hours after i had left) also how she couldn't wait until I got home. The night I arrived home we made love and the police confirmed that she had told them we had had consensual sex that night.
What precipitated it:
The evening before my arrest I was called at work by my wife. She was drunk and abusive. I cancelled my meeting and came home to find my son in the kitchen surrounded by broken crockery and my wife upstairs in his bed. She did not get up for four hours. I told her that I wanted her to leave as she could not afford to live in our house. I wanted residency and custody for my son so that I could protect him. I had suggested this before.
Motive?
I thought why would she do this when I was arrested and was able to tell the police:
She knew that I seriously wanted to leave her this time (told her several times in past eighteen months to two years) (corroborated by One of my son's carers on night of races)
She would lose her lifestyle (house, financial impact and support for childcare etc.)
She still wanted to be married to me (evidence in letters and cards also texts even after alleged event)
She has a psychiatric illness (recent intervention of the Crisis team in august as she was suicidal)
Texts and statements that without me and our son her life would not be worth living (even whilst I was in Barcelona)*
She is an alcoholic
Possibly she also felt the need to compensate for or explain away some personal failings; alcohol, inability to cope with our son or life in general. Threat of divorce and a real concern that her failings would dramatically hinder any child custody case. Possibly an attempt to level the playing field or because she felt backed into a corner with few realistic options of success. Getting me "off the scene" certainly appears to be strengthening her case with social services right now.*
It seems that my wife's alleged rape solves so many problems for her unlike the unfortunate real victims of rape who face many new problems.
For the last couple of weeks I have taken time off work but have been asked to come back from Monday. My boss knows of the false allegation and has been surprisingly understanding. I have been living in hotels and am trying to rent a property. My family have been fantastic especially my parents.
The OIC told me that I would go through the full range of emotions. On Sunday I was almost suicidal but strangely I have improved gradually since. I would hate to think that I am getting used to it. Tomorrow I am meeting a new Solicitor recommended by FASO.*I cannot honestly face the publicity if I was charged so I am going to try and engage a private solicitor to try to avoid ever getting there.
I asked a solicitor from the duty firm to contact o2 to get copies of my texts almost two weeks ago but I only got a letter today saying they had now written. The mobile phones I understand will take months to analyse (due to backlog - apparently every criminal now has at least three or four - obviously mobile phone analysis is a good business to get into) and they had not even sent the phones off at the end of last week.t
A couple of questions:
Does anyone know how long it takes to get texts back from o2 court liaisons?
Can I provide my own evidence to the police for consideration by the CPS? I am starting to realize that their main role is to build the prosecution case.
When will they tend to interview my wife again as I am sure that she will find it difficult to remember all of the details which they will have asked her about?
I appreciate that my circumstances are a bit different to those other cases I have read. No forensics, no issue of consent for the only date provided as no sex took place. I was made homeless (whilst she is living in our luxury home) by the allegations and social services have sent him back to his mum from respite care. Apparently she is sober having been drinking two bottles of wine per day for the last few months. I have no restrictions on my bail and although I have to call to arrange it there is no restriction in my access to my son.
Any advice or support would be very gratefully received. Thank you. * *
I was arrested at my work over two weeks ago. I could not believe it when the police officers told me that my wife had made an allegation that she had been raped by me and claimed that this had happened episodically over the past couple of years of our marriage. My world was turned upside down. I was arrested on a Friday afternoon at 13:45 and spent 29 hours in custody. The duty solicitors were both good and although they are paid to believe me I feel they really did realize how justice was being perverted. The police also seemed very reasonable. Almost all of the questioning was background related to my son who is disabled and my wife who is alcoholic (inpatient detox. twice, lost her licence, could tell lies for Britain). We covered our relationship from first date to this year including a very detailed examination of our love life. In only the last twenty minutes was I questioned about the allegations themselves. This surprised the duty solicitor.
The disclosure was minimal but the only alleged date was the night of 23rd October. When I saw this I thought great she has made a huge mistake with her lies as I was in Barcelona from noon on the 23rd. The police said that the date was correct but it must have been before I went. I was at the airport for 04:45 and left home at 04:20. It still sounds incredible that I would somehow get up earlier than absolutely necessary to carry out a rape. I told the police that we had not had sex on the 23rd and when questioned also not on the previous night.*
Throughout my trip To Barcelona I received texts from her telling me how much she missed me and that she wished she was there with me (even acouple of hours after i had left) also how she couldn't wait until I got home. The night I arrived home we made love and the police confirmed that she had told them we had had consensual sex that night.
What precipitated it:
The evening before my arrest I was called at work by my wife. She was drunk and abusive. I cancelled my meeting and came home to find my son in the kitchen surrounded by broken crockery and my wife upstairs in his bed. She did not get up for four hours. I told her that I wanted her to leave as she could not afford to live in our house. I wanted residency and custody for my son so that I could protect him. I had suggested this before.
Motive?
I thought why would she do this when I was arrested and was able to tell the police:
She knew that I seriously wanted to leave her this time (told her several times in past eighteen months to two years) (corroborated by One of my son's carers on night of races)
She would lose her lifestyle (house, financial impact and support for childcare etc.)
She still wanted to be married to me (evidence in letters and cards also texts even after alleged event)
She has a psychiatric illness (recent intervention of the Crisis team in august as she was suicidal)
Texts and statements that without me and our son her life would not be worth living (even whilst I was in Barcelona)*
She is an alcoholic
Possibly she also felt the need to compensate for or explain away some personal failings; alcohol, inability to cope with our son or life in general. Threat of divorce and a real concern that her failings would dramatically hinder any child custody case. Possibly an attempt to level the playing field or because she felt backed into a corner with few realistic options of success. Getting me "off the scene" certainly appears to be strengthening her case with social services right now.*
It seems that my wife's alleged rape solves so many problems for her unlike the unfortunate real victims of rape who face many new problems.
For the last couple of weeks I have taken time off work but have been asked to come back from Monday. My boss knows of the false allegation and has been surprisingly understanding. I have been living in hotels and am trying to rent a property. My family have been fantastic especially my parents.
The OIC told me that I would go through the full range of emotions. On Sunday I was almost suicidal but strangely I have improved gradually since. I would hate to think that I am getting used to it. Tomorrow I am meeting a new Solicitor recommended by FASO.*I cannot honestly face the publicity if I was charged so I am going to try and engage a private solicitor to try to avoid ever getting there.
I asked a solicitor from the duty firm to contact o2 to get copies of my texts almost two weeks ago but I only got a letter today saying they had now written. The mobile phones I understand will take months to analyse (due to backlog - apparently every criminal now has at least three or four - obviously mobile phone analysis is a good business to get into) and they had not even sent the phones off at the end of last week.t
A couple of questions:
Does anyone know how long it takes to get texts back from o2 court liaisons?
Can I provide my own evidence to the police for consideration by the CPS? I am starting to realize that their main role is to build the prosecution case.
When will they tend to interview my wife again as I am sure that she will find it difficult to remember all of the details which they will have asked her about?
I appreciate that my circumstances are a bit different to those other cases I have read. No forensics, no issue of consent for the only date provided as no sex took place. I was made homeless (whilst she is living in our luxury home) by the allegations and social services have sent him back to his mum from respite care. Apparently she is sober having been drinking two bottles of wine per day for the last few months. I have no restrictions on my bail and although I have to call to arrange it there is no restriction in my access to my son.
Any advice or support would be very gratefully received. Thank you. * *
). At that point I missed her so much even after everything that I was searching for an excuse to forgive her and give her another chance. Even when your head tells you what must be done, even when someone has treated you worse than anyone ever should, its still hard to say forget about our fourteen years together and move on.
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