Please help me!

[Corkycat]

Hello everyone,

I have been falsely accused of rape...but the thing is that i have been accused before, approximately sixteen years ago. The case went to court and i was proven not guilty. I started dating a friend of my cousins who happens to be married to the brother of my accuser (confusing, i know) 13 years ago. We had two gorgeous children, but unfortunately when they were of the ages 4 and 2, me and their mum split in october/november 2003. We was having lots of arguments about money and me working to much (vicious circle) and sometime they would be quite heated, very loud shouting at each other and occasional throwing of things at each other, against wall, that type of thing. I had a really really fansastic relationship with my kids and wanted to see them the whole time from when we split...this is where the problems really started. My ex let me have one of my children right from the word go, every week, but she never allowed me access to my other and in my opinion, because the two of us where literally un-seperable. Things like standing in front of the telly and creating just because my attention wasn't as focused as she wanted it be . I continued having my son every week and paying good maintenance, and on one particular sunday i introduced my son to my new girlfriend, this was the end of may 2004. Later that day when i returned him home to his mum, he burst through the door and told his mum that "daddy's new girlfriend is in the car outside" ha, kids, god bless em! Well then all hell broke loose and my ex started screaming that i wasn't to bring anyone to her home, I specifically parked a lot further down the road from her house so as not be in her face with it all, but she still took major offence and we ended up having an argument. She then proceeded to gain a non-molestation order against me and i was stupid enough to attend the case without a solicitor to contest everything and she was granted the order, to be honest, at that time i was drained emotionally and was low on cash at the same time. Me and my new girlfriend are great together, she is totally my best friend and i truly want to be with her so much forever. We have worked so hard together we now have a lovely detached home that we are currently doing alterations to.

We was out visiting friend when i decided to go down past my ex's house just in case i could catch a glimpse of them playing out on the garden, we actually saw my ex and our daughter getting into the car, i stopped at the side of them both and asked through the car window...and very very politely asked to see my children again. She gestured, swore at us both and then screeched off.

My family had always remained in contact with her on a regular basis and my aunt and uncle where especially close to her. I constantly asked my sister to try to smooth my ex over so we could all move on and then eventually allow me to see my children. No such look ever came about and in the end my ex started to send vile and threatening text messages (we have them all) to my sister and aunt. I then decided that it was never going to happen the way i thought it could, so i got myself a family solicitor and started proccedings to gain access lawfully to my kids.
Two weeks ago we both got the hearing date for the case to go before a family court, then our world fell apart at the beginning of last week when we got a knock at the door at 05.15, it was the police! They told me i would have to go with them and they arrested me on suspicion of raping my ex in April 2004??????????????? I'm totally devastated, they questioned me for a little over two hours, realeased me on bail and now, nearly two weeks later, the detective invetigating told me today that i have to go to the police station on monday to have my bail adjusted because she hops to have a decision from the CPS on MONDAY!!!! She says she has finished her investigation and will see me on monday. Now this female detective totally looks and talks as if she is really out to get me and she has got me scared stiff! Is the early end to her investigation and the fact that she expects a decision from the CPS on monday an indication of her being confident that i did it? Needless to say...i am absolutely not guilty of raping my ex...hell she says that i walked in through her door and raped her whilst she was collapsed on the floor from blacking out due to Menieres disease, absolutely outrageous lies. It's like something from Crimewatch!

She happens to know all about how scared i was of the last case and is putting me through all of this again because of me wanting to see my children. She did nothing about this fantasy rape for six and a half years.

Thanks so much for any replies i might receive, and for the time it took you to read it all

[Casehardened]

Dear Corkycat,
So sorry you have had to find your way here and what a shocking tale.

On the face of it your ex seems to be very jealous of your new relationship and has made this accusation to scupper the family court proceedings, no coincidence that it came just after the date was set.

As her texts were sent to your aunt and uncle hopefully they are safe from being seized as ‘evidence’, as obviously they back up your account of her unreasonableness. Maybe to be on the safe side give the phone to your solicitor for safe-keeping.

If you have looked at a few of the posts on this forum you will be aware that 2 weeks from arrest to CPS decision seems unbelievably quick, is it possible that the OIC meant that she wanted to vary the conditions of bail after discussions with the CPS?

[Corkycat]

Thanks for your reply Casehardened,

When i sopke to the officer earlier today, the only thing she said was that "i've finished my ivestigations and i expect a decision from the cps on monday" But then i asked her a question about me attending the family court on the 18th of november and would i be in breach of my bail conditions if i were to attend as my family solicitor says we should. And she replied " as far as i am concerned, you wouldn't be" It was the ex's solicitior that sent my solicitor a letter stating that if we did go ahead and appear at court, then i would be in breach of those conditions. The officer never mentioned anything else about bail?

Is ther anything positive to take from this...i'm sorry, i'm just really really low!

[Rights Fighter]

From what you say it appears that the OIC (Officer in Charge of the case) is not to be trusted - check with the court and your own solicitor about your bail conditions. In many of these cases the police are not out to help you and are more interested in meeting targets for rape convictions.

Under no circumstances give the police the phones with the messages on. If they insist copy them off onto your computer using the phone software, first, then hand to your solicitor, and it will be for them to send it - so there is a record of the phone existing. Unfortunately some police officers "lose" evidence or claim they never received it in the first place.

I dealt with an appeal against conviction in November 2008 that was based along similar lines: father had had a relationship with the mother (of the complainants) and they had a child together. When he wanted to get more involved she got her two daughters to lie about all sorts of nonsense. The jury found him not guilty on 11 out of twelve charges and he was sent to prison on the one charge.

He did his time and came out before the appeal was heard.

If there is any paperwork relating to the family court matter, go through it with a fine-tooth comb. It was in the family court matter that I found the evidence that helped quash the conviction. It had not been put at trial.

As you have not yet been charged you will be lucky to find a solicitor who will help and advise you without payment as public funding does not kick in until after charge. Hopefully this matter will not go that far.

[RFLH]

follow the advice given - its the best free advice going.

[the advocate]

Corkycat

I was in the same position as you in attending the family court possibly being in breech of my Bail Conditions. The conditions were that I was not allowed to contact [the female] either directly or indirectly.

I spoke to the OIC before attending court and told him that I would have to see [the female] in court, but that I didn't intend to speak to her. I decided to take a friend along with me, who was a respectable professional guy. The intention was that the friend would follow me everywhere in the court building (though he did stand outside the door of the gents!) so that if there were any accusations of contact, he could truthfully say taht he had followed me around and that nothing was said.

It did pass uneventfully, and I've discovered from subsequent hassles that the police are primarily concerned about potential witness intimidation, and possible breech of the peace. However, having a valid reason for going to court, and being in the same building as her, would remove any allegation that you visited her to do something taht was in breech of bail conditions.

If you also speak to her solicitors, and say 'can you please ensure that your client does not come anywhere near me, as I don't want to breech my bail conditions' I would suspect that the solicitors would play fair, and keep her away, no matter how much they may insult you or try to stitch you up in correspondence.

I'm presuming that the bail conditions are about non contact, If different, please let me know and I'll try to make suggestions.

Best of luck!

[Corkycat]

Update

Hi everyone,

Not really been dealing with this very good at all, i have got fantastic support from partner, my family and friends, and my managers at work are right behind me. All my work colleagues too, they have been amazing...I'm absolutely fine when i'm with my partner and friends, or at work, but then when i'm alone all the hell of this overwhelms me!

I am due to stand trial pretty soon and although my barrister states that i have a really really strong defence case, with some brilliant evidence (some of which has only just came to light) i still feel scared. Scared because my barrister even admitted that sometimes in what seem clear cut cases, the jury will swing in the opposite way and against the defendant and find them guilty!!!

I just wanted to say what a great site this is and thankyou to all that find the time and heart to advise others. To all that are falsely accused...you are not alone, please try to be strong and soldier on! We have to, to give hope to others in the future that will be put through this. I am definitely stronger now than i was in the beginning, and i'm determined to fight for myself...and for my partner, god bless her.

I yearn to wake up, free from all the horrible thoughts that remind me of this, every single time i open my eyes. I long for my peaceful life back and whenever that may come, i'm going to grasp it with all that i am. All this started from my fight for access to my children, i love them dearly from the bottom of my heart and if ever in the future the day comes that we can see each other again, i think i'll just about explode with happiness!!!

Good luck everyone! x

[Verity]

Hello CorkyCat,

My hubby and me know exactly what you and yours are going through.
It's brought back all the thoughts and feelings we went through.

I am sick to the back teeth that a man known by the authorities to be innocent is put on trial for a fictitious crime that never occurred and has no basis in fact or reality on the uncorroberated, unsubstantiated word of the false accuser.

The police are going to have to be forced to investigate the veracity of the accuser and the credibility of their allegation as they seem intent on 'building' a case against the innocent victim falsely accused in their quest to meet 'rape' conviction targets.

Once this debacle is sorted please, please put in a complaint in regard to the OIC deliberately not following reasonable lines of enquiry that would have proven your innocence and gather as much evidence of your ex's lies and report her to the police for committing the crime of making a false allegation and statement to the police causing an innocent man to be arrested, detained and prosecuted soley on the basis of the false allegation thus attempting to pervert the course of natural justice.

Every victim falsely accused must do this if there is ever any hope of putting a stop to the highly lucrative false allegation industry.

The deep sense of injustice and anger I feel is becoming more intense each time I read of yet another victim of this abomination.

The powers that be will not put a stop to this witch hunt of men so we are going to have to force them to.

Keep strong.
I so empathise with the terrible ordeal you are enduring.
Verity.

[Corkycat]

Verity

Hi Verity,

thankyou for your post. I'll keep strong...i have to. When all this is over, and giving time to gather my thoughts (and my life) back together again, i will help in any campaign to stop this from happening to others. It is hell and it has to stop...this country never, never, never ceases to amaze me, 'GREAT' Britain doesn't seem so 'great' to me, and hasn't done so for a fair few years. I wanted to do the right thing and fight for my children because i miss them and want to be there for them in every single way, and all that is never going to happen anytime soon now. Ex has ruined my life and to a certain degree, my childrens, they are going to be father-less for how long because of all this???

I can't think of anything more selfish and devious to do to someone than what my ex is doing to me and the children. I'll never give up, i'm scared to death, but i'll keep fighting, even if all this goes wrong, the day i become a free man i'll be getting on with rebuilding our lives and i am ridiculously determined to succeed!

Thank you again Verity. x