i need some help and advice plaese (its long but please read)

[in need of some help]

Hi All
Im really in need of some help, i know alot of people on this site are going through the same or similler to me. Im 25 just awaiting to go away in the army as a paratrooper. 4 months ago i was accused of rape by my 13 year old cousin! My story is as follows. i know its very long but its what happened and i really need some advice its really turned my life upside down and i fill alone and dont know where to turn.

After a split up with my ex girlfrend who i was with for almost 4 years i had to move in with my arnty and younger cousin who ive not really been that close to at all, My cousin has always been a handfull to cope with for my aurnty she has run away a number of times and once accused my arnty of punching her and reported it to SS this was droped after she admited she was lieing. She was having alot of truble at school with people after her for steeling there boyfriends ect, and just in with the wrong people that were getting her into alot of s**t with police and her mother, Her mum had tryed to get her taken away by SS but they said is wasnt possable for that to happen.

i stayed with them for around a month, in this time i tryed my best to speak to her and try to get her to sort her self out with school ect as i myself droped out and got no GCSE's ect so didnt want the same to happen to her as i know how hard itis to find work without any. My attampts failed she continued to be the same if not worse. Then she satrted drinking of a wekend with friends out on the streets. I know as do all the family thats shes always has a big crush on me, her and all her friend use to call me fit ect but i always took it as a joke from a little girl.

When she started drinking she seamed to trun in to a diffrent person someone ide never met before. Once i knew what she was like when drunk i was quite worried about her that someone could do something to her wile she was in this state. i knew she wasnt going to stop drinking as i done the same when i was younger i think everyone did. one weekend i said her and her mates could have a drink with me so i could keep an eye on her she go very out of hand. rung my ex and caused a whole load of s**t with her for me. Also started to get very weard around me saying she loved me and trying to hug me. I managed to get her home that night and all was well i knew she was ok and nothing happened to her.

The following weekend she texted me saying she was out with one of her girl mates drinking, i was around a friends drinking myself she sent me texts asking if i has comdoms? i relpyed NO WHY? she texted back saying ok then you and your friend want a bj? i told her she was crazy my friend is ten years older then me and i said that was never going to happen! after that i found out where she was and went and found her. sat in a bin shead kissing her girl mate. i took the pair of them back to me and my mums flat and made them sleep in my bed and i crashed on the sofa. i didnt grass her up to her mum because i knew she would be grouned for months over it but i did sit her down and said this has got to stop!

the following night she got drunk again and was sending me texts saying she wnted to kiss me the night before, i replyed saying thats not going to happen! she my cusion and 13 i wouldnt do that and i would go to prison for something like that. I told her to stop being crazy. i knew her mum checked her phone every day so told her to get rid of the texts she sent and i wouldnt say anything as long as it stoped now! after that i stoped replying to texts from her as it was getting to much!

a couple of weeks later me and my friends went out to a lake to have a drink in the summer, my mum, arnty, cusion and her friend came along, my arnty allowed her to drink and she once again got out of hand, told me that day that she was sexualy active and had got rid of a baby bafore i didnt know if this was true, plus any chance she got she would hug me or touch my body ect as it was hot and i had no top on. she was found that day but her mum in a bush with her mate (a diffrent girl) kissing her. and that night stayed at the girls house. we aranged to have a bbq the following weekend at my arntys house with my friends and family. my couson was there but grouned for running away the night before and the police having to find her and her mates house.

at the bbq she was sneeking drink out of the fridge while we was outside. my best friends other half asked my arnty if she could stay with them for the night and she would try and have a word with her to sort her self out, so we ended up back at my friends flat there was myself and two other men there, we got through 3 750ml bottles of vodka and i was very drunk, my cousin was drinking also (beer) given to her by my friends other half.

i was asked by my mum and arnty to stay there the night i didnt want to but said i would, my cousin was sent to bed about 10.30pm in the spear room on her own, we carried on drinking my best mate said he had to go to bed as too drunk and our other friends left also, me and my friends other half had another drink or two and chatted, after a little while i said i had to sleep as room was spinning i layed on the sofa and was asleep after no time at all, next thing i know i was woken up by my mate at 9am with a coffee infront of me in the same place i layed down (fully dressed) then my cousin was woke up and we all spent most the day cleaning two car.

my cousin was asked a number of times if she wanted to go home and said no everytime, around 2pm that day i took her home after we had cleaned the cars and droped her off, the next day i got a call saying she had accused me of going in the bedroom and raping her! i was shocked! i went to the police station straight away handed myself in and gave them all the dna they wanted and helped them in anyway i could my interview was only 20-30 mins long. the police took bed sheets and my cloths from that night and bailed me, i returned for bail about a month ago but dna still wasnt back so got re-bailed till sep but they still think dna wont be back by then. my life has been turned upside down over this and it seams the police are trying to rewin my life before ive even been found gilty of anything. wanting statmens from my ex who has a daughter and because she said she didnt want to get involved they are saying they will get SS involved

since this has happened my cousin had run away again for a night and picked up by police back in this area after they moved away when this happened also she has accused her mum of punching her again and SS have found out its untrue and called her a complete lier

i dont know whats going to happen to me over this ive read storys on here of people getting put away for something they havent done

any advice would be a geate help and sorry again for going on so much but i just dont know where to turn for help

[in need of some help]

i dont even know if i should of wrote all this on here but its all been told to the police

[in need of some help]

can someone please let me know if its a good idear all this info being on here if not i can erase it, but i am really in need of some advice about all this

thanks all

[largactyl1]

Hi there, someone with knowledge and experience will be along at some point matey. I know very little apart from the trauma you must be going through as a close friend of mine is going through the same nightmare. Sadly you are not alone with a false allegation and your cousin sounds totally out of control, it is awful you find yourself in this position - especially as you were trying to help her and being understanding with regards to her teenage angst.

Someone with actual knowledge about your legal situation will be along.

Jen x

[joyousguard]

First and foremost you need to start securing any evidence you have. If she sent texts to your phone, your phone may still have stored the texts even if you deleted them depending on the type. DO NOT LET THE POLICE GET YOUR PHONE AND CHECK AS THEY MAY ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE MISPLACE THESE TEXTS THAT COULD HELP CLEAR YOUR NAME.

DO NOT MAKE ANY MORE STATEMENTS TO THE POLICE WITHOUT TALKING TO A LAWYER FIRST OR WITHOUT A LAWYER/SOLICITOR PRESENT. Being innocent does not matter to many of these people and if they have enough to prosecute you they will do so regardless. Anytime you say anything to them they can twist your words or take things out of context and now it's your word against a police officers and a little girl.

The DNA evidence will most likely not help you regardless of whether it comes back negative. As many others on this forum have pointed out just because your DNA may not be present, the prosecutor could change the charge from rape to attempted rape should the time come. FOR NOW, THE POLICE ARE THE ENEMY AND THEY ARE NOT THERE TO HELP YOU. THEY ARE THERE TO HELP CONVICT YOU AS THEY DO NOT GET PAID FOR HELPING CLEAR PEOPLE'S NAMES BUT RATHER FOR PUTTING GUILTY/INNOCENT PEOPLE IN JAIL.

YOU NEED A SOLICITOR AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

As the previous poster said, more people will be on to help you who are extremely qualified in this area.

[shocked...]

Hello and welcome to this site. I can completely understand your situation as I am currently going through the same thing. The only difference being is that I actually had sex with the girl except we were drunk. I answer bail next month to discover whether the CPS are to press charges; the worst feeling is the thought of going to prison when you have done nothing wrong!

Anyway back to your situation. Don't worry about the police, they will act the exact same way with everybody in our situation, i.e. assume your guilty regardless. Even if the Police want to prosecute you, it still has to pass through the CPS before anything can happen, Court wise.

Echoing what joyousguard has said, you must take copies of any evidence you have, no matter how frivolous. Witness statements, text messages...anything. Try and back up this evidence onto the PC via your phones PC applications and then store the files onto USB and store AWAY from your house. Do not give this USB to the police, get a solicitor ASAP and give it to him/her.

Now that you have sorted your evidence out, the only thing remaining is to try and forget your situation. The first week is the hardest of them all. I spent my days in my room almost crying. I then said to my self that I had to man up and fight these allegations. The thoughts of ending it all is sometimes inevitable, but do not think like that! If you are innocent, then fight to clear your name with all your heart. For now, there is nothing you can do but play the waiting game, so try and stay active. I am exercising (being in the Para's is something you will be doing anyway), being with my friends a lot more, reading, etc etc. Try anything so you don't have to think about whats going on. I am no longer scared of the police or this allegation as I know that I have done nothing wrong; but that doesn't mean miscarriages of justice do not happen.

Try to stay strong, talk about your situation with your friends, parents, on here, whoever. Venting out your frustrations and talking about your circumstances help greatly; its therapeutic.

PS don't tell my brother I'm helping out a Para...he is a marine

[Rights Fighter]

I've emailed one of the moderators so she will be along shortly to edit your post and remove some of the info as requested.

I've asked her to put it into paragraphs of a few sentences each as it's difficult for me to read/understand it the way it is - in one big block.

I am going out now but will be back later this afternoon and might be able to help you once I can see what it's all about.

[in need of some help]

thank you rights fighter, the post has now been sorted ive been told you are one of the most knowledgeable people on here when it comes to case's like this any help would be great.

after i handed myself in and done my first interview i did go and see a SL she is now dealing with the case but cant really do anything for me untill we know whats going on with dna, the police did take my fone (blackberry) so i am unable to get text ect but i told them all about it in interviews.

i also found out yesterday from my mother she had been texting her just after this all kicked off saying she wanted to see me or to please get me to text her as she needed to talk to me i read through all the text some saying shes so sorry for this and she wouldnt let anything bad happen to me ect im unable to put the text on usb as the mobile is old so just have my mums fone to take to my SL. i dont think the mobile network would give us paper copys of text recived would they?

she did try and withdrawing her statement about a week after she said it but the police said that she couldnt and its up to the CPS what happens now

i do think the police are relieing on this dna as the women in charge of my case keeps saying she will ring me to tell me if its NFA before my bail date, statements have been taken from everyone there that night also from all family about me and her and what we are like ect, but some of my family have called and asked to retracket/change there statement about her as since shes been living around them all they have seen what shes really like, and also have all said from the day after this has ment to of happened she has acted like nothing has happened its not affected her at all.

Also the first thing she done was not cry rape she emailed a family member and asked how she would go about getting the morning after pill then she was questioned by family and her mum and this came out.

i am trying to keep buisy at the gym everyday trying to take my mind off things its been around 4months now and time just seams to be dragging on now and i know it could be meny more months before the CPS even make there mind up so looks like im going to be on hold for the paras now till next year over this all

thank you all for you replys so far it really dose help alot to talk to people going through the same thing

[Rights Fighter]

Your mum's mobile should go to the solicitor if you are charged. It sounds like the sol is doing some bits and bobs for you pro bono (free) as funding doesn't kick in until after charge. If you are charged hopefully they will get a forensic expert onto it. I can recommend one should the need arise.

Is the sol experienced in defending false allegations of sexual abuse (as opposed to sex offences?)

[in need of some help]

Your mum's mobile should go to the solicitor if you are charged. It sounds like the sol is doing some bits and bobs for you pro bono (free) as funding doesn't kick in until after charge. If you are charged hopefully they will get a forensic expert onto it. I can recommend one should the need arise.

Is the sol experienced in defending false allegations of sexual abuse (as opposed to sex offences?)

she told me she had delt with a case like mine but was an under age girl who said she was older she agreed to sex but then said it was rape after, she said he was aqiuted but his life was in bits by the end of it. she is helping me out ive been on the phone to her alot in the last week getting advice ect but theres not much else in the way of evdidence i can gather myself now, all my friends have given statements now but they are all polish so dont know if the police will try and twist there words. well i will keep posting on here im back next month but police lady said she dont think any dna will be back as not a high priorty case? its been over 4months now since they sent it all off we have been thinking its abit long now

[in need of some help]

do you know of any sol's in the south east that deal with cases like this? that might take on the case?, only down side is im on legal aid so know most wouldnt take the case on

[Rights Fighter]

English not being the first language is not a bar - it police twist their words then they would get hammered at trial as to why they did not get an interpreter in.


Can you tell me without being too specific if you are in London or Ken area? I might be able to recommend a solicitor with experience if I know of one near to you.

[in need of some help]

they did get one for my best mate as he dont speak great english but took almost 4months to get one for him, the others do speak ok english tho

also im in the surrey/sussex area

thank you!

[Rights Fighter]

Unfortunately I don't know of any solicitors experienced in defending false allegations in Surrey or Sussex but

http://www.tuckerssolicitors.co.uk/who-we-are/people

are in London and will take publicly funded cases from outside of the area.

Scroll down on the link and look for Tim Brown. In my informed opinion he is the best man for the job. It's worth ringing him to ask if he will be able to take it on. You can email him direct although a phone call will probably be better as emails can get lost if the recipient gets hundreds a day.