Story on Daily Mail website

[largactyl1]

Hi there, well my close friend has been told to expect a letter from the police saying that there will be no further action - however, he has yet to receive it and has to go to the policestation on Friday. The police officer said she couldn't say over the phone that there would be NFA but that is what she was clearly getting at. We are all hoping that this will be the beginning of the end of my friend's suffering - although I don't think he will ever truly get over it.

There is a story on DM website about a woman who has just been sentenced for perverting the course of justice. Do the police automatically charge someone with this or will my friend have to make a complaint? I really think that my friend's accuser should be done with some kind of GBH as he is as damaged on the inside as someone who has been physically battered. I'm sure people here will understand.

And of course, he will always be concerned that any future partner could do the same to him. He is desperate to know "WHY" did she do this. I feel that if someone is that messed up (she has accused 8 people now - only 3 to the police though - the others have just had their names dragged through the mud), then there will be no answers for him. I just think she craves the attention that victimhood brings, in the same way as people with Munchausens syndrome will fake physical illnesses.

He has been making a list of all the things she lied about (or probably lied about) during their relationship - some will make your hair stand on end although I probably should not go into specifics.

How can I help him come to terms with all that has happened. We talk everyday, the same things going round and round in his head. It's horrible to see a previously confident man unable to go out of his house apart to see family (who live very close by).

[LS]

Hi Largactyl

How everyone copes, when you've been accused of something you haven't done, is different to all. I can only speak from my own experience and in the four years since being accused and convicted, I've been through every emotion imaginable. I also don't trust people any longer, and whereas I used to happily window shop for hours, now it's a mad dash to get in and get home again. And that's only if I absolutely have to go out, or cannot put it off. The feeling of agoraphobia - not a fear of open spaces, but a fear of the people in them, and outside the front door - is something I've tried to get professional help for but no one really seems to either know how to help, or are that inclined to help.

So, I can see how you find it difficult to help him come to terms with all that has happened. Still going through it myself, I wish I knew myself how to come to terms with it, then I could tell others how to help and not least put a stop to the turmoil I feel.
I'd like to say time is a healer, but it doesn't seem to be. This isn't like a one-time event; it's like being kicked every day, so every day is a new challenge with fresh scars.

The best you can do is to be around and be supportive, but beyond that......

[Casehardened]

It is tempting to want this woman dragged through court but bear in mind this will be a long process; would your friend want this to all come out again in 18 months time, as he may well be called as a witness.

Consider getting him to carefully construct a letter, detailing his trauma and those of the other men she has accused, and pointing out the enormous waste of financial resources and police time that her actions are costing the taxpayer.

Send this to your MP with a copy to the relevant Chief Constable; this should ensure her card is marked in the event of any future allegations, and may result in her being prosecuted for wasting police time.

Be prepared for it to be many months before he feels anything like ok, as LS said one can never forget, but remember 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

[Saffron]

That's great advice from LS and CH.
All I can add is that something like this will have repercussions for the rest of your friend's life, it will never really go away. The best you can hope for is that he will come to terms with it and be able to move forwards.

Your friend's accuser will not automatically be charged with POCJ, especially if the case is NFAd. An NFA simply means that there is insufficient "evidence" to proceed with the rape case.
If the case is "No Crimed" it means just that - the police do not believe the "rape" ever took place, and this would be more likely to result in the accuser being charged.

In either case your friend could make a complaint to Plod about the accuser. It is unlikely the police would take any action against her, but if he is going to write to his MP as CH suggested, then I reckon that he should make a formal complaint to plod before writing to the MP.

However, don't get ahead of yourself just yet. Wait to receive the NFA before you do anything.

Good luck!