Why

[largactyl1]

Hello there,

well, I have been talking to my close friend who has been accused of rape by his ex-girlfriend.

He is very low and very scared that the police might believe his accuser - despite her making well documented false allegations of him hitting her in town last year (it was caught on cctv by 7 cameras - it never happened) and the charges were dropped. She made accusations against some family members 2 or so years prior to this, but didn't go further than video evidence - I don't know why, she is a compulsive liar - she said it was to protect her Mum etc. She has also accused at least 3 other people but not to the police, just discredited their names around town.

Now she has accused my friend ( 3 days after he finished with her for good, he is a patient and forgiving guy but just couldn't cope with her everyday lies and alcoholism any more). He is so distraught about what others might think; the fact that their 7 year relationship clearly meant nothing (they split up a lot during this time so not really 7 years); and mainly WHY, WHY would anyone do such a terrible thing - accusing him of violence (he wasn' anywhere near her on the day she accused this of him), sending 50 threats to kill by telephone and text (the police have his phone so already will have seen this is untrue, she apparantly "lost" hers when the coppers asked for her phone) and worst of all of course is the accusation of rape - this apparently happened on the Tuesday according to her and two days later she sent him a text saying she hoped they could be friends - he did not reply and on the Friday she accused him of these crimes to the police.

So, I am asking people for their opinions. WHY do some people make up such dreadful lies, lies as people here know are utterly devastating. My friend feels so dirty - as he knows she will have told everybody that he did this terrible thing. He isn't able to go anywhere as he feels he is a target, he is frightened that it will go to court and that people may believe her ( she does a really good line in being a nice person, one who is dogged by victimhood). I believe she enjoys the attention that comes with being a perenial victim, but what goes through people's heads? Does the lie become real or are they aware that they are lying?

This is all so dreadful, I'm sad for people here as everyone has been affected by this wicked crime. I'm also glad that this forum is here though, as my friend and I feel completely lost and very alone.

I would really appreciate people's opinions on the WHY of all of this. Thankyou x

[Rights Fighter]

The motive is clear - malice after being rejected for the last time.

Instead of trying to work out why this has happened, your friend must gather what evidence he can. If there are text messages and any other electronic communications then he should find a solicitor experienced in defending false allegations of rape and hand the phone plus its SIM card to him/her.

If he hands it to the police, and he is unlucky enough to have an OIC who is not particularly bothered how he gets a conviction, then that evidence could very easily go "missing" or it could be said that he never handed that evidence over in the first place.

My friend Rob, who was put into prison by his daughter in 2000, handed the "nice" OIC 53 pieces of evidence which she then denied receiving from him. He was lucky and was released on appeal in 2001.

So first thing to do is, if he has not already done so, find a good solicitor. He's better off getting one in a big practice as they are more likely to be helpful prior to charge (they do not get paid by public funding until after charge).

Keep coming back - there are others here who will come in to support you.

[joyousguard]

Stick by your friend, I doubt there is anyone alive who can handle going through something like this by themselves.

[Skye]

Keep coming back to this website for support.

These allegations are hell to face,I know from personal experience.Help your friend as much as you can,as the previous person wrote, no one can get through this alone.He needs you like never before.Please ask the experts on this site anything you need to know.They will help and support you.Wishing your friend and you didn't have to go through this.Some women/men who say/ tell these malicious lies are sick in the head.

[largactyl1]

Helpful

Thankyou so much for your advice, I (and my friend) are really grateful. He's finding that he is thinking about it all of the time and is getting no rest from it at all, it seems so unfair that he has to wait and be in a limbo. The police clearly don't have any particular concerns as he is on unconditional bail, and surely if they were concerned that he was a violent rapist who had threatened to kill his ex. he would be on remand or with very strict conditions attached to his bail?

[joyousguard]

Thankyou so much for your advice, I (and my friend) are really grateful. He's finding that he is thinking about it all of the time and is getting no rest from it at all, it seems so unfair that he has to wait and be in a limbo. The police clearly don't have any particular concerns as he is on unconditional bail, and surely if they were concerned that he was a violent rapist who had threatened to kill his ex. he would be on remand or with very strict conditions attached to his bail?

my doctor prescribed me sleeping pills, they helped me for awhile get to sleep even if they left me really tired the day after. Your friend might consider something like that as the pills also tire you out and slow you down which I found caused me to stop thinking about my situation. Just make sure he hasnt had thoughts of harming himself before he gets them.

[mouse]

Lost Phone Text messages can be recovered without the phone

Hello there,

well, I have been talking to my close friend who has been accused of rape by his ex-girlfriend.

He is very low and very scared that the police might believe his accuser - despite her making well documented false allegations of him hitting her in town last year (it was caught on cctv by 7 cameras - it never happened) and the charges were dropped. She made accusations against some family members 2 or so years prior to this, but didn't go further than video evidence - I don't know why, she is a compulsive liar - she said it was to protect her Mum etc. She has also accused at least 3 other people but not to the police, just discredited their names around town.


Now she has accused my friend ( 3 days after he finished with her for good, he is a patient and forgiving guy but just couldn't cope with her everyday lies and alcoholism any more). He is so distraught about what others might think; the fact that their 7 year relationship clearly meant nothing (they split up a lot during this time so not really 7 years); and mainly WHY, WHY would anyone do such a terrible thing - accusing him of violence (he wasn' anywhere near her on the day she accused this of him), sending 50 threats to kill by telephone and text (the police have his phone so already will have seen this is untrue, she apparantly "lost" hers when the coppers asked for her phone) and worst of all of course is the accusation of rape - this apparently happened on the Tuesday according to her and two days later she sent him a text saying she hoped they could be friends - he did not reply and on the Friday she accused him of these crimes to the police.

So, I am asking people for their opinions. WHY do some people make up such dreadful lies, lies as people here know are utterly devastating. My friend feels so dirty - as he knows she will have told everybody that he did this terrible thing. He isn't able to go anywhere as he feels he is a target, he is frightened that it will go to court and that people may believe her ( she does a really good line in being a nice person, one who is dogged by victimhood). I believe she enjoys the attention that comes with being a perenial victim, but what goes through people's heads? Does the lie become real or are they aware that they are lying?

This is all so dreadful, I'm sad for people here as everyone has been affected by this wicked crime. I'm also glad that this forum is here though, as my friend and I feel completely lost and very alone.

I would really appreciate people's opinions on the WHY of all of this. Thankyou x

Text messages can be recovered without the phone police, don't need the phone nor does your solicitor, get him to contact the network and ask for copies, you may need to pay. Just get statements and as much info as you can, solicitors don't have time and sometimes leave it too late in getting witness statements so get them yourself, you can download witness statement forms from the Net. although not necessary as once you have them solicitor can get them typed into correct format and resigned.

[Rights Fighter]

I've not heard of that procedure Tony. In all cases I have been involved with where text messages are retrieved this has had to be done using a forensic expert (I can recommend such an expert if necessary) and funding can be applied for in order to instruct them.

I know others have believed they could retrieve deleted text messages via the provider(s) but have been hugely disappointed when it's not happened.

If, however, you know of a case where this has actually happened I'd be really interested to know about it as it could help in cases that come up as and when.

Cheers!

[mouse]

Text Messages

I've not heard of that procedure Tony. In all cases I have been involved with where text messages are retrieved this has had to be done using a forensic expert (I can recommend such an expert if necessary) and funding can be applied for in order to instruct them.

I know others have believed they could retrieve deleted text messages via the provider(s) but have been hugely disappointed when it's not happened.

If, however, you know of a case where this has actually happened I'd be really interested to know about it as it could help in cases that come up as and when.

Cheers!

I believe text messages have to be kept by the provider but will come back to you on this after I investigate further.

[Rights Fighter]

Thanks T I appreciate that.

[largactyl1]

Thankyou people for your comments and help. Well, my friend has had is case "handed down" to a PC from the CID so I assume this is good news? He is terribly depressed though and fears he cannot get through this. What a horrible crime False accusations are. What a horrible effect it has on people. It's like GBH of the brain and mind. I think I would rather be beaten up, and I'm pretty certain my friend will agree with this. At least bones can be mended.

[mouse]

Why

Thankyou people for your comments and help. Well, my friend has had is case "handed down" to a PC from the CID so I assume this is good news? He is terribly depressed though and fears he cannot get through this. What a horrible crime False accusations are. What a horrible effect it has on people. It's like GBH of the brain and mind. I think I would rather be beaten up, and I'm pretty certain my friend will agree with this. At least bones can be mended.

Can only wish you & your friend all the best & hope things turn out for the best. We are all here for him & answers & support are only minutes away.....

[Rights Fighter]

Not sure what "handed down" means in this case but when judgements are "handed down" it means that the result is given later on.

Hopefully it won't be long before you hear and that the news is the right result..

[mouse]

why

Not sure what "handed down" means in this case but when judgements are "handed down" it means that the result is given later on.

Hopefully it won't be long before you hear and that the news is the right result..

Sounds like just changed I/O to a less senior officer to ease senior officers work load...does sound as if they have downgraded importance of this incident, certainly hope so and that they are just dotting i's and crossing t's before NFA on it. We will have to wait and see before we get any hopes up.