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  • Serviceman wrongly accused

    My Grandson has been accused of rape by a girl he has been seeing regularly for about a month.He is in the Navy and was on leave last weekend,he stayed at her flat overnight on Friday where he says that they had consensual sex.He left late on Saturday morning and since then he has made and received text messages from her where everything seemed quite normal and from the messages she seemed to be looking forward to him coming home next weekend on leave.

    Suddenly,out of the blue,I received a call to say that he had been arrested on his ship and the Police were bringing him back to interview him.

    He has no idea why she has suddenly made these accusations against him and I am beside myself with worry.

    He has been told that she had marks on her shoulder but there was no vaginal bruising,he was embarrassed telling me this as you can imagine but he is totally devastated.

    I just don't know how I can help him,any advise would be most welcome.

  • #2
    Originally posted by Midnight and Worried View Post
    My Grandson has been accused of rape by a girl he has been seeing regularly for about a month.He is in the Navy and was on leave last weekend,he stayed at her flat overnight on Friday where he says that they had consensual sex.He left late on Saturday morning and since then he has made and received text messages from her where everything seemed quite normal and from the messages she seemed to be looking forward to him coming home next weekend on leave.

    Suddenly,out of the blue,I received a call to say that he had been arrested on his ship and the Police were bringing him back to interview him.

    He has no idea why she has suddenly made these accusations against him and I am beside myself with worry.

    He has been told that she had marks on her shoulder but there was no vaginal bruising,he was embarrassed telling me this as you can imagine but he is totally devastated.

    I just don't know how I can help him,any advise would be most welcome.
    Tell him not to speak to the police. Tell him to talk to a lawyer first and not to sign or say anything at all to anyone but his lawyer.

    He needs to document everything and keep the docs in a safe hidden place.

    You need to be strong for him as no doubt he will not be in the best frame of mind. If it wasnt for my family I wouldnt have made it this far.

    Even though he is innocent dont assume for a moment that they will not try and hang an innocent man.

    As to the reasons this girl has done these things, your guess would be as good as anyone elses here i guess. Apparently some girls finnd it amusing to mess with other peoples lives. I wish to God they could see what it does to the falsely accuessed and their families for just a moment to understand the pain and anguish.

    You need to be his strength and take one for the team until he is back to himself again.

    Ill say a prayer for you
    veritas, amore et spes

    Comment


    • #3
      Midnight and Worried: The text messages are really important so he needs to keep these safe. If they are on the SIM/memory card then he should remove it and put it in a safe place. If he hands it to the police it could get "lost".

      As he is in the forces then would I be right in thinking that he has a forces solicitor already advising him? If he does, hopefully the solicitor will have access to a forensic mobile phone analysis expert. I can put you in touch with such an expert if needs be. You can contact me through the forum owner at email address at the bottom of this forum.
      People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

      PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

      Comment


      • #4
        Serviceman wrongly accused

        I've just got home after returning my Grandson to base,approx 200 miles away but at least I know that he is safe there on board ship.

        We have spoken to his Duty Officer who has said that he doesn't believe a word of the accusation which in itself is comforting and has said that he will receive the full support of the Navy and will have access to any resource that he needs,I know that there is a large welfare and legal service and I am assuming that this will include a solicitor who will guide him through this trauma.

        I have his phone but the Police have asked that it be handed over to them and I am really unsure whether to give it to them or to wait to see what his officer says when he has heard all of the facts.

        One thing is puzzling me though, why was this not reported on the day it was supposed to have happened but three days later during which time text messages were still being exchanged between them and nothing seemed wrong?

        Comment


        • #5
          Three days is nothing - some people wait 40 years before reporting an alleged rape......

          Hand the phone to the Navy legal rep and then you can honestly tell the police that you do not have the phone and that it is in the hands of a defence solicitor.

          You do realise that this forum is open to the public and that anybody, including any passing police officers updating intelligence can be reading these posts at any time?

          Be careful what else you post up here.
          People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

          PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Rights Fighter View Post
            Three days is nothing - some people wait 40 years before reporting an alleged rape......

            Hand the phone to the Navy legal rep and then you can honestly tell the police that you do not have the phone and that it is in the hands of a defence solicitor.

            You do realise that this forum is open to the public and that anybody, including any passing police officers updating intelligence can be reading these posts at any time?

            Be careful what else you post up here.
            Good ideas. Its nice when you
            have so many people supporting him. Just make sure its going to someone who is going to protect him as opposed to help investigate.
            veritas, amore et spes

            Comment


            • #7
              Dear M&W. Sorry you had to find your way here but you have come to the right place. Some of us can only offer a shoulder to cry on and others are much more knowledgeable, particularly of the legal system. I know that this is the most awful time for you all but as you can tell there are MANY of us out there who have been, and are still going through the nightmare of false accusation. Why do these females do this????? I think that we would all like to know the answer to that one. Please try to stay strong, thinking of you.

              Comment


              • #8
                ^just to add it isn't only females who make false allegations just as it isn't only women who get raped.
                "I dreamt I went to the doctor's and she gave me eight minutes to live. I'd been sitting in the f**king waiting room half an hour." Sarah Kane (4.48 Psychosis)

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by witsend View Post
                  Dear M&W. Sorry you had to find your way here but you have come to the right place. Some of us can only offer a shoulder to cry on and others are much more knowledgeable, particularly of the legal system. I know that this is the most awful time for you all but as you can tell there are MANY of us out there who have been, and are still going through the nightmare of false accusation. Why do these females do this????? I think that we would all like to know the answer to that one. Please try to stay strong, thinking of you.

                  Men and boys make false allegations of sexual abuse too.
                  People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                  PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Rights Fighter View Post
                    Men and boys make false allegations of sexual abuse too.
                    i wish i understood why people do these things but im clueless.
                    veritas, amore et spes

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Hi, I have been falsely accused too, when I got arrest police told me not to worry about it, many times told me to carry on my life as normal becouse they saw that the case won't go any where and say that if they need me the well call, I belive then!! then upther 5 mounths they told me go to the police station and charge me, I have been to court 3 times now waiting for trial, there is not evidence to suport the allegation just becouse I tell police that consent sex take place with that women my solitor say that is matter of consent, I really hope justice is going to be than, I'm living with this horrible problem for 12 long mounths and I got another 3 to go, good luck to your grandsoon.
                      Regards

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by joyousguard View Post
                        i wish i understood why people do these things but im clueless.
                        Well I guest becouse is a large amount of cash waiting for then, I maybe wrong

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          We have a compensation system here in the UK which is a veritable shopping list for liars.

                          £1K for an IA (alleged)

                          £16K approx for rape (alleged)

                          It goes up if you accuse more than one person and if you claim it happened when you were a child and allegedly ongoing for a number of years.

                          Germany had the right idea several years ago when they substituted financial compensation with top-notch therapy for those who genuinely were sexually abused. Allegations of sexual abuse apparently dropped by over 90%. With no reward for lying, I wonder why that would be.................
                          People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                          PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Well, bail day came and went yesterday and I seem to be getting nowhere.
                            bail was extended for another three weeks as the Police say that they are still retrieving information from my Grandson's mobile phone.
                            I have spoken to him and he says that all of this information will only show that they were in a relationship with photos and text messages that were sent to each other before and after the alledged incident.I am clinging to the hope that this is a good thing but we now have another three weeks to wait and the nightmare goes on.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Hi M&W

                              The waiting is horrible, but it could be so much worse. Your Gradnson could have been charged, and he hasn't, so that is a small mercy. Hang in there. 3 weeks will fly past.

                              Comment

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