Husband Accused of Rape

[anxious and scared]

I will try to keep this as brief as possible, 14 months ago my husband had a 1 night stand, Well it was a half an hour quickie to be exact, He met the woman in question in the club he was working in, She had been drinking and asked my husband if he would give her a lift home. As she was on her own, He didnt have a problem with that as other members of staff thought it was a good idea, While driving to her home she suddenly said she felt sick so my husband pulled over to let her out, To cut a long story short, They started kissing and touching, Which eventually ended up with them having sex, They then got back in the car and he asked her if she had enjoyed it and she replied yes, He then asked her directions to where she lived and took her home, When they arrived at her address, They got out, He walked her to her front door, Waited until she opened the door with her keys, Then kissed her goodnight, 2 weeks later,He was arrested for raping this woman, She is stating that she was too drunk to give him consent and claims she cannot remember anything about that night, Or that her memory of that night is very hazy, As you can imagine it came as a total shock to me, Feelings of that day were disbelief, Utter shock, Devastation, Excuse my spelling, I felt my world come crashing down around my shoulders, My husband cheat on me was bad enough, but to find out he had been arrested for rape, Well you can just imagine unless you have been through it yourselves. The trial is in november, Ive gone through all the emotions a wife could go through, But in my heart of hearts, I know this man is incapable of such a dreadful crime, He has been left devastated by all this, The woman in question posted videos and comments on facebook saying she had a mint night, 10 hours after my husband was supposed to have raped her, HOW CAN SHE REMEMBER THIS. We have heard from friends and collegues of my husband that this girl has a bad reputation, A friend of his phoned him yesterday and told him he also took the same woman home and she gave him oral sex in his car, He said he will go to see our solicitor to tell of what happened but he wont make a statement or go to court as he is married, Im dreading the trial, She will be pitied, My husband will be regarded as a monster.

[anxious and scared]

[QUOTE=anxious and scared;11068]I will try to keep this as brief as possible, 14 months ago my husband had a 1 night stand, Well it was a half an hour quickie to be exact, He met the woman in question in the club he was working in, She had been drinking and asked my husband if he would give her a lift home. As she was on her own, He didnt have a problem with that as other members of staff thought it was a good idea, While driving to her home she suddenly said she felt sick so my husband pulled over to let her out, To cut a long story short, They started kissing and touching, Which eventually ended up with them having sex, They then got back in the car and he asked her if she had enjoyed it and she replied yes, He then asked her directions to where she lived and took her home, When they arrived at her address, They got out, He walked her to her front door, Waited until she opened the door with her keys, Then kissed her goodnight, 2 weeks later,He was arrested for raping this woman, She is stating that she was too drunk to give him consent and claims she cannot remember anything about that night, Or that her memory of that night is very hazy, As you can imagine it came as a total shock to me, Feelings of that day were disbelief, Utter shock, Devastation, Excuse my spelling, I felt my world come crashing down around my shoulders, My husband cheat on me was bad enough, but to find out he had been arrested for rape, Well you can just imagine unless you have been through it yourselves. The trial is in november, Ive gone through all the emotions a wife could go through, But in my heart of hearts, I know this man is incapable of such a dreadful crime, He has been left devastated by all this, The woman in question posted videos and comments on facebook saying she had a mint night, 10 hours after my husband was supposed to have raped her, HOW CAN SHE REMEMBER THIS. We have heard from friends and collegues of my husband that this girl has a bad reputation, A friend of his phoned him yesterday and told him he also took the same woman home and she gave him oral sex in his car, He said he will go to see our solicitor to tell of what happened but he wont make a statement or go to court as he is married, Im dreading the trial, She will be pitied, My husband will be regarded as a monster. Please i need help and advice from anyone in a similar situation.

[anxious and scared]

Husband Accused of Rape

I would like to hear from anyone who can offer help and advice, The court process is running so slowly, Not sure we have confidence in our solicitor, As after 14 months since my husband was charged with rape, Nothing seems to be happening, We hardly ever hear from our solicitor, Trial has been cancelled once already, There is no evidence what so ever, So its her word against his, Just feel like we are banging our heads against a brick wall.

[shocked...]

Hey anxious, and welcome to the site under the most unfortunate circumstances. I am in a similar situation where I had sex with a girl whilst we were both drunk and I am currently on bail until late August where I have to be re-interviewed.

What I've learnt from this is that drunken sexual escapades only lead to a world of trouble. Having said that, the fact that it has gone to trial under your circumstances is quite indifferent. There is a well known case regarding consent which establishes that drunken consent is still consent. This was established in R v. Bree.

The old saying of its her words against his does not apply to cases of alleged rape. I have been educated to believe that the police must treat every allegation seriously and they have to "believe" the alleged victim.

What does work for you is the fact that this girl whom your husband had a one night stand with was walking, fully able to speak and generally was coherent. However, on the flip side, the fact that she has been sick isn't that favourable. Sure when people are sick whilst they have been drinking people assume the worst, but I myself have drunk so much, then I was sick, felt alot better and carried on drinking! So its not all bad.

Even more compelling is that the woman has stated she could not remember giving consent. This is crucial to any prosecutions case as not remembering giving consent is different to not giving consent. Consent will be inferred by the actions of each of the parties involved as it would be silly to presume written consent would be required!

A question which has posed no answer is what degree of intoxication must a woman be before she is unable to give consent, conscious or not. This is all down to the legal principle of capacity. As such, I would not be able to give any information on that basis. The fact that she may have regretted having a quickie with your husband may have been the main impetus for this allegation, as revenge is a regular motive in these cases.

As to her reputation, the Court has to take an objective view on the circumstances and only concentrate on the facts. Many things that lay people may find relevant, will not be relevant within the legal system.

What I would advise you to do is to make a copy of any evidence you have. Do not hand it over to the police and only let your solicitor be in possession of it. This evidence could be anything like an original copy of this girls facebook page which states she had a good time, any messages or witness statements as to her intoxication level. Any witness statements about her asking him to give her a ride home. Anything like that will help your case.

With regard to his friend who received oral sex, given that he doesn't want to testify in Court due to him being married, witnesses have the right for anonymity and it may be of use to you.

Contrary to what I said earlier that it is no longer his word against hers, the Police are the only ones who feel that way. The Court must still be satisfied that your husband is guilty beyond reasonable doubt.

Personally, given that his story is consistent and backed with evidence, I really can't see your husband being convicted. Being drunk whilst having sex is, and for the foreseeable future is legal. The fact that she had voluntarily gotten into some stage of intoxication also works against her; had your husband put something into her drink, things would certainly look down. However the issue of consent is one which is still a rather difficult matter to resolve. I will attach a snippet from R v Bree which you will no doubt find comforting at the very least.

[Taken from the case of R v. Bree which refers to the case of R v. Dougal]

"30 We are not aware of any reported decisions which deal with this aspect of the new legislation. We should however refer to the much publicised case of R v Dougal (unreported) 24 November 2005, heard in the Crown Court at Swansea . Having heard the evidence of the complainant, the Crown decided to offer no further evidence. Before the jury counsel for the Crown explained:
“ the prosecution are conscious of the fact that a drunken consent is still a consent and that in the answer, in cross-examination, she said, in terms, that she could not remember giving her consent and that is fatal to the prosecution's case. In those circumstances the prosecution will have no further evidence on the issue of consent. This is a case of the word of the defendant against that of the complainant on that feature. It is fatal to the prosecution's case…”

31 The judge (Roderick Evans J) directed the jury that as the prosecution was no longer seeking a guilty verdict, there was only one verdict which could be returned, and that was an acquittal. He added that he agreed with the course the prosecution had taken."


I wish you and your husband luck and you will be in my thoughts.

[joyousguard]

I will try to keep this as brief as possible, 14 months ago my husband had a 1 night stand, Well it was a half an hour quickie to be exact, He met the woman in question in the club he was working in, She had been drinking and asked my husband if he would give her a lift home. As she was on her own, He didnt have a problem with that as other members of staff thought it was a good idea, While driving to her home she suddenly said she felt sick so my husband pulled over to let her out, To cut a long story short, They started kissing and touching, Which eventually ended up with them having sex, They then got back in the car and he asked her if she had enjoyed it and she replied yes, He then asked her directions to where she lived and took her home, When they arrived at her address, They got out, He walked her to her front door, Waited until she opened the door with her keys, Then kissed her goodnight, 2 weeks later,He was arrested for raping this woman, She is stating that she was too drunk to give him consent and claims she cannot remember anything about that night, Or that her memory of that night is very hazy, As you can imagine it came as a total shock to me, Feelings of that day were disbelief, Utter shock, Devastation, Excuse my spelling, I felt my world come crashing down around my shoulders, My husband cheat on me was bad enough, but to find out he had been arrested for rape, Well you can just imagine unless you have been through it yourselves. The trial is in november, Ive gone through all the emotions a wife could go through, But in my heart of hearts, I know this man is incapable of such a dreadful crime, He has been left devastated by all this, The woman in question posted videos and comments on facebook saying she had a mint night, 10 hours after my husband was supposed to have raped her, HOW CAN SHE REMEMBER THIS. We have heard from friends and collegues of my husband that this girl has a bad reputation, A friend of his phoned him yesterday and told him he also took the same woman home and she gave him oral sex in his car, He said he will go to see our solicitor to tell of what happened but he wont make a statement or go to court as he is married, Im dreading the trial, She will be pitied, My husband will be regarded as a monster.

One of the first things I can tell you is that your husband needs to start documenting everything he can remember about the night and the girl. Get a file folder or start a file on your computer marking it clearly "attorney client privilege". Put everything he can remember down no matter how trivial and let the lawyer decide what is important and what isn't. If you can take a screen shot of the face book page or get a witness who saw it then do that. You have lawyer but that does not necessarily mean that you can not work as your own lawyer and start gathering evidence and resources that will help you. It also helps to get it all out in the open and out of your head onto paper.

The waiting is the hard part. Knowing you didn't do anything wrong (illegal) and knowing full well that the police will always believe the alleged victim instead of the true victim makes you want to hit someone in the face and force them to see the truth.

Your husband made one mistake and I am more than positive no one or no punishment could be worse than what he will be doing to himself over all of this. If a man does 99 good deeds and makes one mistake, does that make him a bad man or a good man? If you love him and he loves you I think you could understand if for a moment he was not thinking clearly and made a huge mistake that may haunt him for the rest of his life. Please learn to forgive him and try to see the man that you fell in love with. I'm sure he is hurt the most as he probably believes he has hurt you and for us men that is something some of us can never forgive ourselves for.

Try to support him as best you can but at the same time make sure you have someone to vent your frustration and anger to as no one can be a solid rock all the time.

Lastly, if your not religious my advice to you would be "start". Prayer also has beneficial physiological effects and relaxes people to say nothing of the religious aspect. Also, maybe you want to seek some counseling or go see a member of the clergy. I happen to be catholic and although you might not be or you might not be religious at all, alot of these priests have already heard and gone through similar experiences, with other people, to what you are going through and may be able to help you. Just a thought.

I was recently falsely accused and I'll tell you I am having a very hard time keeping it together. The waiting and the fear of the unknown are horrible. I just signed up to this website and from what it sounds like you have found a good bunch of people who know exactly what it is like to be falsely accused by someone playing around with other people's lives.

Your husband made a mistake but he is no criminal and he should never forget that you and he are now the victims and the ones being persecuted.

Before this I was not an individual in favor of lawsuits but i will be when Im cleared, but sue sue sue sue sue sue. If this woman has done it to your husband, she will do it again and who knows maybe suing her could be the best thing for all the guys she may take advantage of in the future and help her turn her life around.

Keep fighting the good fight

[LS]

Get a file folder or start a file on your computer marking it clearly "attorney client privilege".

I'd get a legal clarification of that first. I know this from having a CD made marked just that, but it didn't stop the police taking it.
Storing ANYthing on your pc at this time is not a good idea, as the police will seize computers, disks, memory sticks and other media. The fact that your partner's been arrested for something gives the police a reason to do this.
If you've got important evidence, store it away from the house so it cannot be seized.

[Rights Fighter]

You are right LS. Legal privilege extends to those who work within the legal system such as solicitors, sols reps, work on computers done by employees of sols (I would come under that), police officers who have a work designated computer...... etc

Any work done on the case should be saved onto a memory stick and kept in a safe place.

A friend of his phoned him yesterday and told him he also took the same woman home and she gave him oral sex in his car, He said he will go to see our solicitor to tell of what happened but he wont make a statement or go to court as he is married

This would be ruled inadmissible anyway as this would be classed as "bad character" and does not prove that she is lying about the alleged rape. All that proves is that she's "easy" (as is anybody who goes with such a woman knowing that). Women of easy virtue can be raped just as, for instance, a nun.

If this "bad character" is admitted into the evidence it would only be so if bad character evidence of the defendant is also admitted. It would or could open up a huge can of worms.

If there is evidence of her making false allegations of any kind of assault, preferably sexual, then that would be admissible.

[MYTIME1967]

Tolerance/ do your research

I might be able to offer some input. There is the issue regarding tolerance. This is very important. Most defense lawyers do not address this in court. It can be fatal not to address this in the trial. A drink and sex limit (bac level) will be given to the jury by the cps. It is extremely misleading. Every single person has a different tolerance (consent issues). Blackouts, "i don't remember". Some people have memory loss and do not record events of the evening, but they are acting and appear normal to others. (possibly to your husband). There are test that can be done to determine a persons tolerance, the police labs, hospital's ect. Do not conduct these test. There are additional test that can be done to access one's level of tolerance. They do not not conduct these test. This leaves the accused with inaccurate evidence that goes to the juries. You must research and you will understand. Let me know if i can help. Good luck, hopefully you see what i'm getting at. It might help.

[RFLH]

Thanks for the replies on this thread - its thrown up some interesting points.

[Rights Fighter]

I might be able to offer some input. There is the issue regarding tolerance. This is very important. Most defense lawyers do not address this in court. It can be fatal not to address this in the trial. A drink and sex limit (bac level) will be given to the jury by the cps. It is extremely misleading. Every single person has a different tolerance (consent issues). Blackouts, "i don't remember". Some people have memory loss and do not record events of the evening, but they are acting and appear normal to others. (possibly to your husband). There are test that can be done to determine a persons tolerance, the police labs, hospital's ect. Do not conduct these test. There are additional test that can be done to access one's level of tolerance. They do not not conduct these test. This leaves the accused with inaccurate evidence that goes to the juries. You must research and you will understand. Let me know if i can help. Good luck, hopefully you see what i'm getting at. It might help.

Any jury will already know this from their own experiences. It is unlikely in this day and age that LSC would fund such an expert to attend trial and explain what the jury will already know. The point (and it is well make MYTIME) should be emphasised during defence counsel's closing speech.

[mouse]

Agree with all above replies.

Also important that you document everything as said, I would place on memory stick and transfer to a seperate hard drive kept somewhere else. Doubles up if for any reason memory stick is lost or police do manage to take. What I would say is mark it externally very clearly with 'Confidential Legal Material' if police do get it then your team have something to fight back with particularly if they use any info on it.
Personally I would go and take photo's of the area you say this happened, note any CCTV or private cameras, street lighting, good, bad etc. and I would take pictures of the door and house where you dropped her off. Any curtain witchers, busy pedestrian route, etc., Maps and Google Earth can also be of help depending on circumstances........good luck, and don't tell police anything you are not obliged to, keep it for your solicitor.....hope you have found some help here.....don't forget FASO, Safari and other help orgs.

[Rights Fighter]

'Confidential Legal Material' does not mean that this is subject to legal privilege. As I said in an earlier post this would only relate to those who are in the legal profession (solicitors, sols reps etc), otherwise anybody could write on their flash drives/extenal drives/memory sticks 'Confidential Legal Material' and expect this to be respected by the police.

[mouse]

Flash Drive

'Confidential Legal Material' does not mean that this is subject to legal privilege. As I said in an earlier post this would only relate to those who are in the legal profession (solicitors, sols reps etc), otherwise anybody could write on their flash drives/extenal drives/memory sticks 'Confidential Legal Material' and expect this to be respected by the police.

I didn't say it had any legal standing, I'm looking at it from experience, makes police think twice and I'm sure a jury wouldn't look favourably on police interference with defence legal files.......I look at things from street perspective and experience after 8 years of police harassment & not always legal. .
Another tip I learnt is to keep all receipts and where possible make all purchases on a card to establish whereabouts whilst on bail, or if on licence after prison.

[Rights Fighter]

Sorry Tony I hadn't realised. And I hadn't understood until reading your recent posts that you are suffering such harassment form the police. That must be absolutely awful. Have you taken legal advice on that?

I'm coming from the view of somebody who has worked on our cases with solicitors. Some of the emails I receive from you suggest you are very knowledgeable so I thought you had had similar experience.

You are absolutely spot on re keeping receipts when on licence. I also suggest that if one of our lads on licence is out and about to try to keep to places where there is CCTV. This has helped on several occasions where liars have pretended that their victim has been seen in areas where he is not allowed to go.

I visited somebody on Sunday in HMP Albany who is hoping to get parole (I doubt he will) but when he is out I warned him that he will be expected to sign in every few hours at a bail hostel. He seemed horrified by this but I explained that he can use this to his own advantage as if his liar claims she has seen him where he ought not to be - then by signing in every three hours or so will prove beyond all doubt that he cannot have been where has been claimed.

This worked for one of our guys who was in a bail hostel in London. His accuser claimed he had been in Colchester at the same time he signed on at the hostel.

For everything that might appear to be unjustified or awkward for our guys, I try to find an advantage. And that is one of them.

[LS]

where possible make all purchases on a card to establish whereabouts whilst on bail, or if on licence after prison.

I would second that.

I'm sure a jury wouldn't look favourably on police interference with defence legal files.

I wouldn't place quite so much intelligence in a jury. Seen for myself that they ignore barn-door sized bits of information with the word "CLUE" written on it.