Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

American story

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • American story

    There don't seem to be many forums or sites for Americans with this type of situation so I thought I might as well post here because we are cousins after all and apparently most of us are going through similar things.

    I'm 28 and I was High school teacher at Catholic boarding school for girls sent away by their parents from all over the world. One girl accused me of trying to proposition another girl for sex. The girl denied it, to the nuns in charge of the school and then to the police. I was essentially forced to resign and given no help from the nuns at the school or the school itself. I can't file for unemployment because the school never paid into it. Its been 3 months and I still can't find a job.

    In the meantime someone convinced the girl who I supposedly propositioned for sex to change her story. She also added new twists, that i sexually assaulted her. I read the DCF (department of children and families) report and it was enough to make want to shoot myself in the head it was so horrible some of things she said. Apparently it seems that she and her friends had a drug ring going on in the dorm that I found out about and they decided to ruin my life rather than have me get them kicked out of school.

    Its been 3 months now and I have had to spend all my money on lawyer. The pain and the anguish this has caused me and my family is unbearable. I was suppose to go on August 10 to appeal my case to DCF in a hearing and finally be able to defend myself against this insanity but my lawyer says I cant until the criminal side of this is done. The DCF in this country has the ability to convict you with a mere preponderance of the evidence and put you on the equivalent of sex offender list that you can never get off of.

    Now I just sit here waiting for the police to come and arrest me and I jump every time the dogs bark or the phone rings. In the Catholic church we are all guilty until proven innocent and in the realm of public opinion soon as it gets reported in the media that i was arrested immediately I'm guilty. Who knows, tomorrow I mayfind out this girl has accused me now of raping her.

    What a messed up world we live in where people do this to other people. I would rather have been accused of being a bank robber or an arsonist than this. I wish she would have just shot me in the head rather than put me and my family through this.

    You Brits are not alone, us Yanks get screwed over by the law and the justice system too and for a teacher it means the end of my career even if I am cleared.
    veritas, amore et spes

  • #2
    There are support groups in the US. I'll have to ask one of the mods to email me so I can send them the list as we seem to be getting quite a few US people here looking for support.

    One I am involved with is FAST: False Allegations Solutions Team

    http://www.false-allegations-team.com/
    People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

    PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Rights Fighter View Post
      There are support groups in the US. I'll have to ask one of the mods to email me so I can send them the list as we seem to be getting quite a few US people here looking for support.

      One I am involved with is FAST: False Allegations Solutions Team

      http://www.false-allegations-team.com/
      Yah, I was surprised that there are so few groups for people falsely accused. Being accused of rape/sexual assault can be as devastating as being raped. It really seems to be one of the injustices of the world that victims of false rape allegations are ignored even though by some estimates the number of false allegations is greater than the actual.
      veritas, amore et spes

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Rights Fighter View Post
        There are support groups in the US. I'll have to ask one of the mods to email me so I can send them the list as we seem to be getting quite a few US people here looking for support.

        One I am involved with is FAST: False Allegations Solutions Team

        http://www.false-allegations-team.com/
        If you could pm me with the email of the director of FAST as I can't access it for some reason. I think I need google mail or yahoo and I dont have that.

        Any other resources would be helpful too
        veritas, amore et spes

        Comment


        • #5
          I've PM'd the owner of this forum with the email address you need.
          People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

          PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

          Comment


          • #6
            Its been 3 and a half months since this hell began. I wonder if no news is good news. I havent been charged yet but the fear of the unknown and everything is killing me and my family.
            veritas, amore et spes

            Comment


            • #7
              We cannot know because, as far as I know, nobody on this site has experience of US law.

              I've known people go for longer than a year before charge in the UK. All you can do is to sit back and wait - not easy I know.
              People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

              PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

              Comment


              • #8
                Hang in there.

                Please know that we are rooting for you here,as have been through all the waiting hell ordeal,ours was just over two months and we have never known
                such a short time to stretch out so endlessly ,with an unknown outcome.
                Look after yourself and your loved ones as best you can.
                Hands across the sea.

                Skye.

                Comment


                • #9
                  ive been on vacation with my family this week in Virginia but after this its back home to the hopeless job hunt and the police showing up at any moment. I wonder if she sleeps well at night knowing what she has done to me and my family. I would love to know if her conscience weighs upon her. Doubt she cares because nothing happens to her regardless.
                  veritas, amore et spes

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    4 months of hell and counting. No job still, legal fees mounting and the stress on my family has been enormous. No word from the police in 2 months since they took my cellphone

                    Am I the only one who obsesses about what has happened to them? Every night I walk out on the drive way and say my rosary but for the last 4 months anytime I do all that goes through my head is the day I get to start fighting back and clearing my name and what I want to say or scream.

                    I'm not exactly depressed but any happiness or joy in my life has pretty much been extinguished. All I look forward to is the day when all this insanity is done when at my age I should be looking towards getting married and starting a family.

                    Everything I have read on these forums or in court cases in this country leads me to believe that innocent people often go to jail and get punished for things they have never done and convicted on far to little evidence and far too many lies. All justice systems are for the rich and powerful.

                    All my life I have always tried to look for the good in people, always. Now I wonder if I will ever be able to return to the person i once was.

                    Abolish the death penalty, falsely accuse them of sexual assault instead, it's a far worse punishment.

                    I always tried to give people the benefit of the doubt before this happened to me but now eve more so I feel sorry and supportive of anyone accused of anything as even I have jumped to judge them. Never again.

                    I don't drink, maybe you're never too old to start lmao
                    veritas, amore et spes

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Don't do that! Take it from one that knows!

                      The waiting is awful - and I know it sounds mad, but try not to think about it if you can - it is a sure way of driving yourself insane, just to keep going over and over it.

                      Do you take any meds? Do you go out and do things?
                      And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the world round .... and laughed and laughed and laughed ..

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        School starts up in a little bit and it kills me that I'm not going to be back in the classroom. I just borrowed money from my parents to pay my bills.

                        I did get some sort of medication from the doctor but without a job and any money I have been using it sparingly because when it runs out I cant get more.

                        I wonder when God believes I have been punished enough
                        veritas, amore et spes

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I can't answer that, I'm not a believer, but I know some who come on here are.

                          I'm sorry you you haven't got the equivalent of the NHS - I thought they were beginning to try to make it easier for getting treatment over there.
                          And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the world round .... and laughed and laughed and laughed ..

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by RFLH View Post
                            I can't answer that, I'm not a believer, but I know some who come on here are.

                            I'm sorry you you haven't got the equivalent of the NHS - I thought they were beginning to try to make it easier for getting treatment over there.
                            Obamacare is a nightmare and it hasnt even been implemented yet. prices have skyrocket 20% since the legislation passed and it hasnt even been implemented yet.

                            The government in this country runs absolutely nothing well at all and I'm frightened to see what happens when they get a hold of health care.

                            If you want to see something more depressing than any of my posts look at this website http://www.usdebtclock.org/
                            veritas, amore et spes

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Hi there, had a look at your link!!! that's frightening, but probably seems insignificant compared to what you are going through. Like another has said sorry you don't have the equivalent of the NHS. Did the meds actually help? I know through personal experience that I don't think I could have got through the nightmare of our son being falsely accused without the support of my GP and the medication he put me on.
                              most of all I could not have coped without the support and advice of others on here.
                              My prayers are with you.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X