Life In Tatters

[gareth589]

Thank You folks,

I m waiting for my solicitor to call me back today and will speak to him about things, but i think i wont be letting the girlfriend speak to the Police.

Last night i called my friends parents, as this ex turned up there in january, on the pretence she was trying to sell a greenhouse.

She started talking to my best mates mum about me, telling her that her dad had died, and that she had found out i was cheating on her and that i had got this girl pregnant while i was still with her.

She was asking my best mates mum where i lived then, my best mates mum felt that my ex was very angry and jealous about my partner and baby and that i had treated her badly.

My best mates mum said me a rapist never, she said me and her son always had girls on the go, we were like a pair of male tarts.

She is prepared to go to Court and make a statement.

Do i allow the Police to talk to her or will my own solicitors take statements and use them on my behalf.

I still don't know how to cope and this morning i have woken to that same old feeling of emptiness and sadness.

The damage its doing to the people closest to me is now showing and I am heartbroken, as I have my life to loose and the life i enjoy of being free.

[Rights Fighter]

but i think i wont be letting the girlfriend speak to the Police.

That is up to the police - if they want to talk to her then they will.

As anybody else here will tell you, it's a waiting game now and you have to sit it out. Keep coming back here and you will get support from the other members here.

[RFLH]

Nope you don't offer anything, get the statements and give them to your solicitor.

Hold your head up - you haven't done anything wrong. Go out for the day and give your head a break, you have to re-charge your batteries otherwise you'll fall by the wayside and we don't want that.

Go back to the start of this thread and copy and paste all your posts - then go through and remove all the deails that are personal, as you've found out, lots read this site including the police on occassions, so remove anything that could identify you.

[gareth589]

edit button.

i cant seem to find this.

[RFLH]

button on the right - got a pair of scissors on it!!

[webmoo]

RFLH - You've been a mod too long!
http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/f...iting_deleting

gareth589 - Please let us know what needs editing and we can do this for you. PM RFLH or myself. HTH!

[Saffron]

Gareth, please stop self-medicating and thinking of ending it right now. There are people who love and need you, for their sakes you cannot end this. Your baby can't grow up without her daddy.

Get some Optrex "Infected Eye" drops for the sties in your eyes. They are great and work really quickly.

We are all rooting for you. OK, so you've been a player in the past, but that does not make you a rapist. Look at the positives, as I have said before. You have loads of character references. You have MSN messages that the accuser has been trying to contact you. She has attempted to bribe you. She has harassed and intimidated members of your family. There is a lot in your favour.

As others have said, you are currently in limbo. This is tough to endure, but you CAN get through it. Think of those who love you and need you. Where would they be without you? (and don't say "better off" because that is not true!)

Chin up mate. You can get through this.

[RFLH]

aw bum, you're right Saffron....... sorry Gareth. PM away, I've made some room now.

[RFLH]

how are you today?

[gareth589]

Just to check in with people, life is still very very sad and empty, and the stress is doing my head in and the fear of when I answer bail, am i going to Prison, I dont trust the officer one bit and feel that he will do all he can to see me charged and behind bars for this matter.

Things have been happening, but i cant raise them on the public side as it could cause me problems, all i am prepared to say is that i have more evidence on this matter daily that shows her character is not normal, and that as my solicitors said, she is a loose cannon.

Gareth

[RFLH]

keep positive and calm. Make sure you write everything down and keep copies.

Don't forget to take time out too, its important.

[gareth589]

Will do, been working today and found this helped me to not think about things, sadly the moment I have spare time, my thoughts and emotions creep up, and fear takes over.

Just the waiting game and the fear of the unknown, I know in my heart of hearts that I have not done what she states, and I only hope that when i give my account of the story that the Police see this, although I accept that they will be asking me major questions about me being in the swinging scene and what goes with it. Guess i am very embarrassed by this as its not the thing you talk about, its highly private.

[LS]

Gareth, don't be put off with having to disclose "personal" details. I had to go through the ignominy of giving out medical details relating to downstairs problems which my accuser would have seen had there been any truth to her account.
However, the embarrassment is short-lived and if you don't disclose the details and the case goes wrong you'll constantly feel What If?

The other side is that the more detail you give it can only strengthen your case if you have a thinking jury and they realise it's you being honest.

[friday]

having worked on the bar in a fetish club (i know that it isn't the same as the swingers scene but it is still considered "unusual") i can tell you something for nothing: the majority of people in the club (private members) were doctors lawyers (and judges), some minor royalty etc. people don't tell people about that stuff but it isn't as shocking as you would think to most people.

[RFLH]

I have a gay friend who was a rent boy - guess who his regulars were?! No wonder they enjoy dressing up!