heartbroken

[concerned mum]

my son has recently been accused of rape in australia he has spent 4 weeks in a prison. he had no clean underwear or any toiletries this is a man who showers twice a day and is immaculate in his appearance...he slept with a girl had consentual sex and afterwards she acted wierdly and started goin on about her boyfriend ..next thing he knew he was arrested and charged and put in prison. My husband and i had to go over to oz to bail him but he cannot return to britain untill the case is resolved...i know he is completely innocent and indeed is a victim of this girl. He is frightened and so upset he cant believe this has happened to him...its affected our whole family his sister is in a state as are his grandparents ...why do girls make these allegations...my son is a lovely lad who was untill then enjoying traveling australia and experiencing life in another country..we his family are heartbroken for him and feel so useless we just want him home soon so he can rebuild his life after this awfull time....I ask god everyday to help this girl find it in her heart to tell the truth and stop this terrible lie....why do girls make such allegations surely they must realise what these men go through... im am struggling with this and have been off work myself as its making me ill....ourlives are in limbo the waiting is dreadfull.

[RFLH]

hello conerned mum, I'm sorry that you've found yourself here.

A couple of years ago there was an Australian police officer on here who was going through the same thing as your son - if you search through the threads you should be able to find him. He may be able to give you some insight into how you can help him.

Please look after yourselves and keep posting her, you'll get all the support and advice we can offer.

[Saffron]

Hi Concerned Mum

I know nothing about the Australian legal system, so unfortunately I can't offer you any practical advice, other than the usual:

Ask him to write down everything he can remember about the occasion in question. Even the tiniest detail could be important, no matter how insignificant it may seem.
If they met in a public place (a bar or pub) ask your solicitor to get hold of any CCTV footage of the evening.
Talk to the people who were with him and ask them to make statements to your solicitor about the girl's behaviour towards him (was she being flirty, did they kiss in public, etc)
Monitor her social networking sites if possible. Take screen shots of anything that might be relevant.
If you haven't already been to your GP, make an appointment now. S/he will be able to offer anti-depressants or refer you for counselling.

I'm sorry you find yourself here. We will all do our best to support you.

Saffron

[witsend]

Welcome concerned mum. glad you found your way here, people will be able to offer you advice and support so please keep coming back.

[Constant]

I have some friends there

let me know how you get on and I will put you in touch

[concerned mum]

sickening

let me know how you get on and I will put you in touch

thanks for that it seems to be taking forever . he is due to appear in court for a prosecution brief next tuesday 13th. Im hoping we will know more then. Being so far away doesnt help . Its sickening why do girls make these allegations i have two daughters and god knows if they wer to be raped i would be gutted but makin a false allegation is just as bad . surely they must know how it affects the man . our lives are in limbo and you feel so alone . his friends have been great and are 100% behind him but ther over here and its not so easy for them to attend court and give character witnesses for him . Hes trying to be brave for us but i know in his voice hes afraid and just doesnt feel safe ther anymore..its such a shame as this was supposed to be the trip of a lifetime before he settled down .