My Story

[witsend]

Dear Constant, don't worry if the only thing you can do some days in sit in front the computer, I was like that. Glad to hear you are going to try to get out a bit this week. keep coming back here.

[Constant]

Feelings?

I met up with a friend on Monday and I told him about what had happended - this is only the 3rd person I have shared this with, he was very supportive and told me to calm down and not to be so worried - he then told me that when he was at Uni the same happened to him. I am astounded by how many people men and women go through this trauma. He said he understood the pain I was in - someone somewhere needs to make a stand.

[witsend]

Dear Constant,glad to hear that you now have the support of someone who has found themselves in the same situation. It never ceases to amaze me, just by reading posts on here, what so many people have been, and are going through. Yes, I have to agree with you, there should be a way of dealing with the people who make these false allegations, not only do they cause so much damage to the people they accuse but it also impacts on the lives of their family and friends. Also, imagine what it costs the tax payer!! waste of police time, they could be dealing with the genuine cases. Just makes my blood boil Hope that you hear something soon.

[Constant]

Gut feel says I will hear nothing till I attend bail in early June - thats what the plod said - his quote was "we should have a way foward by then" what a statement. If I hear before I will of course keep you all informed - my new solictors think the delay in reporting the alleged rapre and the barrage of provable lies are good enough to wreck the accusers case - but I am prepared for bad news - but I will fight this all the way and I mean all the way.

[witsend]

dear constant. we were told by OIC that we wouldn't hear anything until our son's bail date but we were lucky enough to have the news that the case had been NFA'd a week before then! I just burst into tears with relief. Unfortunately this experience has ruined our sons life, he is just a wreck. "Why would an alleged friend do this to him?" That is the question he will NEVER get an answer to. Every day is a battle for him and us as his parents. Must point out that the OIC of our sons' case was brilliant, he dealt with the whole situation (our son has autism) with great understanding, even to the point of coming to OUR house to say the allegation had been made. All the same it didn't make the whole thing a living nightmare for all of us. Thinking of you.

[Saffron]

I am pleased that you have managed to confide in someone, which will hopefully have bolstered your spirits.

With regard to the impending bail date - keep us informed. I still find it strange that your accuser claims to have been infected with the HIV virus by you - has she been tested? If so, how does she know it was you who allegedly "infected" her? (Which we all know is impossible, as you are not HIV positive!) She sounds like a troubled woman.

I hope you get the result you want.

[Constant]

Feeling Upbeat

You know the HIV thing - when I went to be tested I was told that HIV only really shows up 3 months after the event - I did an instant test and then a full bio test both proved negative - I asked the police when they interviewed me what evidence they had and they said they had evidence when I pushed this point they said they had spoken to her health worker - is that evidence ? When they told me that she had lost the baby, they didn't state how just that - and the foetus was still available for checks - I have never heard anything of the like before - we had a fumble in a hotel room we tried and I failed - could she have been made pregnant by me - a million to one chance I would say that she picked up a potent sperm whilst we tried and failed to have sex. All in all she is a horrible messed up excuse for a human being and she should be made to pay but she won't - what did I do wrong - nothing at all except get mixed up with her.

I will keep coming back to this site - I will keep responding and I promise to keep you all informed of any progress.

[Constant]

Dark clouds are back today - maybe its because I only have a few weeks before the return of bail date - just wish it was over

[Saffron]

Constant, look outside. It's a beautiful day.

With regard to the HIV test - -yes, an initial test will show that you are "clear" right now, but the incubation period means that another test 3 months down the line is the only way to be certain. However...

If she is testing positive for HIV and you are not, then she must have become infected before your drunken fumble. There is no way you could have infected her. And you are extremely fortunate that you *were* incapable of "performing" that night, otherwise you could be HIV positive, as well as falsely accused of rape.

Go outside for a bit. Look at the glorious weather. Try to stay positive.

[Constant]

I did the test around 3 months after the "event" and I agree if she has it then I could have caught it - thats why I did the full bio test as well - just to ensure I was clear.

one other question - maybe you can help with - she sent me threatening texts saying if I did not call her then she would come to my house, then when I ignored that she said she would go to the police - if the police have these does it not show what a liar she is or am I clutching at straws

Agreed it is wonderful outside - my head hurts with all this spinning round in it.

[witsend]

Dear Constant, understand completely about head hurting!! if you could just slow your thoughts down things would seem easier? Keep the texts etc, have you told your solicitor about these? I have no legal knowledge, but am sure you should let him know. Somebody else on here may be able to offer you better advice as far as that concerned. This female seems like a particularly twisted person. Obviously with bail date getting closer you will be more anxious, I think everybody feels the same. Will keep you in my thoughts, fingers crossed you hear something positive before much longer.

[Constant]

Plod took the phone and they were still on there - so plod has them - I think these were raised in the original interview as the plod asked me why I did not come to the police as I was being threatened/nasty texts - I explained that I just thought she was a stalker. I also have a email from the girl with some very sexy pics - these I forgot to mention but will mention to the solicitors when I see them next week.

Now I have changed solicitors - they are just waiting for the file from my old solicitors I will ask them to check with police if any news is forthcoming - though I won't hold my breath.

Had an awful nights sleep thats why I feel so **** today I think - you focus/focus/focus you almost convince yourself that they will find a way to pin this on you - even though you know deep down that no offence has been committed - that you are innocent.

[Constant]

another dark night - woke at 3:00am thought the world was against me - you start asking yourself is this all about the allegation or is there more to this. Got up hovered the garden - or whatever you call it.

Hope it stays bright

[RFLH]

This really is par for the course - if you didn't feel this way it would be a worry!

You can't actually do anything yet, so try and think of other things to do to take your mind off things.

Easier said than done I know - but that way ^^ madness lies ...

[Constant]

thanks for the encouragement - will take a walk soon - clear the head - if possible -