My ex has been accused of raping someone 4 years ago, help needed please

[Constant]

Disgust

The women are disgusting - its a shame because all the good that the rape crisis centres do and the police do is destoyed by these pathetic excuses for human beings - perhaps this new government will do something - having heard today that police overtime has gone up by over 90% in the last decade to £400 million because they can't cope. These women and abusers of the system should be fined heavily to pay back in full the loss to the police, the system, the accused and of course compensation to the people they have hurt along the way.

[Rights Fighter]

The women are disgusting - its a shame because all the good that the rape crisis centres do and the police do is destoyed by these pathetic excuses for human beings - perhaps this new government will do something - having heard today that police overtime has gone up by over 90% in the last decade to £400 million because they can't cope. These women and abusers of the system should be fined heavily to pay back in full the loss to the police, the system, the accused and of course compensation to the people they have hurt along the way.

Please do not lose sight of the fact that males make a huge amount of false allegations of sexual abuse too.

[suzybe]

Thank you Saffron, very useful.
The other men, other than knowing the profession of one, and the age of another, and the third by sight, no.
Yes, he has come to me for help. We lived in same house for many years, but as I knew he was sleeping with other woman, we lived seperatly. He now knows how stupid his behaviour was, but he didnt deserve this. We think she is being vindictive, and the way she reacted at the time (no big deal, just an accidental slip, then turned nasty when he broke it off) she moved back to living about half a mile away from my ex, but 4 years? really odd. It seems so unfair that a spiteful woman can cause so much damage, it has been 2 weeks since his arrest, he is waiting for a letter to drop through the door to say no charge, but each day, when it doesn't happen, he gets more depressed.May 25th, the return to Police station date is a long way off.
Many thanks, every bit of information helps.
Sue.

Well, it was again postponed till 17/7, solicitor said that means they have nothing in the way of evidence, and are just trying to string things out, but the stress it is causing is unbelieveable,would love to find out something about this sad and pathetic pathological liar of a woman, if only there was a way.

[Constant]

Or just simply that the CPS have done nothing yet or it hasn't even been sent - sounds like a nothing case - good luck - and keep your head held high

[suzybe]

Thanks for that, the solicitor said this could go on for a year or so, with bail being extended continually, he even said we could get it struck off if it continues, constant stress, and life on hold during this time.

[Constant]

do you have confidence in your sol - he should be able to add some pressure to get this dealt with sooner - they really make you angry

[suzybe]

I'm not sure yet, he has not had to do a lot at this stage, if it goes further, we may change solicitors, but with total lack of evidence, am hoping sense will prevail, and it gets dropped. Would dearly love to find out more about this woman, seems as if she must have had some problems before, and with seeing four other men at the same time, including bikers that she went to the nudist beach with, doesn't paint a very "innocent" picture. Let this be a lesson to other men who think that its easier to pick women up for sex from pubs, but what sort of woman does that, knowing he has a family at home? women with no morals or scruples. Ok so the men are just as bad sometimes, but look at the situation, if she is happy to get involved with a family man, (and so called family men should not be doing this anyway, look at what happens when you do, ask yourself, if being offered sex on a plate, what are the consequences? an STD? blackmail? or a false rape claim when you break it off?)what will she stop at?

[goldfish]

my sentiments exactly. In our case we are dealing with a woman who comes close to the description in your remarks. What makes me angry is that the woman who is accusing my husband knows our family and the difficulties we have had to face these last few years, through no fault of our own. Yet she still persisted hounding and contacting my husband. Something which neighbours are beginning to tell me about now. i'm angry at my gullable husband but more so with this selfish manipulative woman.
I would get your ex partner to give as much info about this woman, write it down and give to your solicitors if the time comes to do so. they will sort out whats relevant or not. Any thing else you hear about her pass it on to them. if he does get charged your solicitor will be able to get access to any formal records of hers.

[suzybe]

Hi Goldfish, many thanks, yes, I get angry when I realise my ex was ridiculously gullable, and really behaved stupidly, which he realises now, too late. These women need stringing up and exposing. Would love to put posters up around here warning men to keep their distance from her, yes I know I cant, but if only! and as you say, they seem to know when a family is in difficulty, and pounce.
Records looked at after would be good, but no consolation for the hell this is putting everyone through. Our Daughter hates her Father, as at 13, she feels as accused, he must have done it, all black and white at that age, no matter what you do to say otherwise. And even if this goes nowhere, the damage cannot be undone.
What this stupid woman doesn't seem to realise, is how much of a tart she will look, sleeping with four different men, complaining about one she went on holiday with the week before also accidentally butting up against her anus, then complaining, four years later, about an incident that did not happen, bearing in mind she had sex with him half an hour later too, and met twice in the following 2 weeks before he dumped her, how do they get away with this?

[witsend]

suzybe. I think, and i may be wrong, that these women get away with because the law seems to allow them. They don't seem to understand that their actions have a devastating effect on the person they are accusing and also their family and friends. Families are wrecked, jobs lost and lives destroyed. if only the police would name and shame these women it might make others think twice Please try to stay strong during this awful time, my thoughts are with you.

[suzybe]

Thanks, very difficult to be strong isnt it? well I find it hard,as my ex depends on me for support.
I totally agree that the police should name and shame these women, after all, they are quick to name the innocent men, and ruin their lives, after all, who would get involved with a man accused of rape, unless they really believe it, they are tarred with the allegation for life.
My ex is now under investigation at work, as they say he should have told them he was arrested (innocent till proved guilty? obviously doesn't work for some organisations) he told them 2 weeks ago, I felt he should not have mentioned it at this stage, after all, when it is hopefully dropped with no evidence, it shows he is to all intents and purposes, innocent in the eyes of other people too, so now, he is also facing hell there too, but as he is off long term sick with depression, he does not have to face anyone at work. He has panic attacks,worries about who he might bump into, wont go into local pubs, as this woman has moved to nearby, and he is worried he might bump into her. He phones me to come and be with him as he is scared,and panicky when out. This is a man who was totally confident, with a good job in Local Goverment offices, and is now a total wreck. When will this end?
Suzy.

[Rights Fighter]

HI Suzybe. please feel free to PM RFLH as if you are close to me I might be able to offer practical support and advice one-to-one.

[suzybe]

Sorry, not following PM RFLH, I assue the RF is Rights Fighter, but the rest is not clear to me.
Suzy

[RFLH]

she means send a private message to me! If you click on my name various options come up - choose private message.

RFLH = Rights Fighters Little Helper!

[Rights Fighter]

Just to update members here - Susybe and I met up this lunch time. She MADE me drink two glasses of rather nice red wine.......

Upshot is, we will meet again but next time with the ex to discuss the case and whatever bits he knows about it.

I would much rather help face-to-face than email/phone as I usually do.