Falsely accused

[Casehardened]

Hi UDNTK,

I do know where you are coming from on the lesser charges bit!

My own personal opinion on this is that as the girl has accused you of rape, it will seem a climbdown to charge you with anything less, allowing your barristor (if it comes to that) to suggest if she was mistaken about the rape how can she be sure about anything else.

Obviously we have no idea how the CPS will view it but the DS has almost certainly already spoken to them and given you a hint.

[udontneedtoknow]

Thanks for the replies

I'm feeling a bit better reading these posts.
I really hope that was hint in disguise, but when I asked him should I be planning on a family Christmas this year he said he doesn't know and it's up to cps. The police can't be too concerned that we are rapists as they've lifted my friends curfew and also not in a rush to know his new address for over a week after moving.
I can't possibly imagine what the cps would have to go on as I'm still under the impression that if they had a single worthy strand of physical evidence then they wouldn't waste anytime in bringing charges.

[worried parent]

you cant allways judge what the police are hinting at or not hinting at , i personally would of thought that if they had the evidence to charge you by now they would have , if they havnt enough evidence then where are they going to get it from now ? but thats easy for me to say because it doesnt affect me , durig my sons case the oic kept saying dont worry etc , but we thought she was just trying to stop us mithering , when she finally told us there was going no further she said ' well i did keep telling you not to worry ...but not all the police are the same .

[worriedfather]

Plod would not tell us anything to the extent that they refused to tell us who my sons solicitor was, any requests for information were met with a reply that they could not tell us anything due to the data protection act.
My whole impression was that plod wnted to isolate my son so that he would be more pliable. He was charged and plod defended their decision by saying that "the focus was on the victim" the "investigation" was more of a witchunt than an investigation with plod telling us that crucial evidence to the defence was "irrelevant" and did not need to be tested!

[udontneedtoknow]

Evidence

Sex didn't even happen, I don't know what they are going to go off, to bring a charge of rape, if we did have sex there would be evidence right? And physical evidence=charges right? So if they have nothing and we've been re-bailed for a further 6 weeks I assume they can only go off statements and circumstances? The statements and CCTV footage must go in our favour! As she claims to not remember a thing from leaving the bar with us until waking up and leaving the flat.
I would love to know what is going on in thi girls tiny mind and what she aims to get from this???

[RFLH]

if you get convicted - several thousand pounds.

Don't assume that if there's no evidence it will go your way - it just doesn't happen that way - it should .....

[LS]

.... not to mention that it's a way of putting the blame onto someone else. Many a time has a girl done something she later regrets, and rather than take responsibility, it's so much easier to claim she was taken advantage of and bathe in the sympathy.

[worried parent]

in the real world ...... no sex = no evidence = no charges , however , the girl isnt living in the real world and as the ' victim ' gets all the sympathy and all the kind words and attention , you , on the other hand are treated as an aimal ..... even when they find out that infact its you who is the victim .most of us on here have been in the situation you now find yourself in , some of us have got the result we desereved and unfortunatly some of us havnt .hopefully you will get the result you deserve, just stay confident and keep reminding yourself they have to prove beyond all reasonable dout that you raped her . if you didnt even have se then how could you rape her ? doesnt take a genius to work it out but from what i have read the cps arent all geniuses. im sure a jury would see thru her like a sheet of glass. hopefully you wont be dragged through the degrading epierience of court.

[udontneedtoknow]

Not good

I am now really starting to feel unwell, I thought upto now that I could deal with this well, I constantly feel like my stomach is in knots and the feeling of wanting to be sick, to top it off I've recieved some bad news about a friend.
I need this to end ever so quick so I can get on with my life. I keep trying to imagine the phone call from my solicitor saying everything has been dropped and feeling the weight just lift from my body and chest!

[RFLH]

I'm sorry to see that its getting to you, sadly everyone goes through the same thing.

I know its easier said than done, but do try to do something other than sit and think about this, because you will drive yourself mad.

Have you been to your GP's for something for the stress? If not, you really should do.

[udontneedtoknow]

really not well now

the stress of this is really getting on top, i cant believe this is happening to me, i dont think i could face prison, i need to know what is going on, im on the verge of losing everything, a good career, friends, family, an amazing girlfriend, theres only so much the human mind and body can take until it snaps
this might sound stupendous but i got out the shower earlier and thought how easy it would be to give it up and not have to worry anymore

all this for a stupid night and whgat should of been a bit of fun

[RFLH]

I think the last line sums it up perfectly - if you look back over the threads you see thats there's a common theme.

Do not think that its the easy option, it isn't - it may be the end for you, but think of the impact on your friends and family.

I was where you are 8 months ago, but my life has turned round - you just don't know what the future holds for you.

You will find hidden depths you didn't think you possessed - its amazing how much you can take. If it does get too much then go and seek professional help - it's what they are there for.

[udontneedtoknow]

Thanks

Thanks RFLH,

I think I was just having a bit of a wobbler this morning, I went to make a doctors appointment for there to be none for today, the nearest is Friday, so thought to myself I'll try and hold on until next week. It also dawned on me that I am better than this, as hard as I might find it, thinking in that crazy sense helped because it does make me think about all the people that would get hurt.
I hope this time next year I will look back at this event in my life and ask myself what was all that about??

I spoke to the DS when I answered bail and asked him about lesser charges, now he said its usually all or nothing in these cases.
I know for a fact there is no physical evidence of a rape what so ever. Which makes me think what are the CPS doing??? I spoke to my solicitor and he basically is putting it down to whether or not consent was given.
I've admitted to having, and recieving oral sex with her, also mutual masturbation between myself, her and my friend and her.
What do people think the outcome of lesser charges could be???

[RFLH]

I wouldn't even try to give you an answer to that - but its good that you can spot the wobbles now!

[Saffron]

If there is no evidence to support her allegation that sex, consensual or otherwise, took place, they may decide to charge you with Indecent Assault. I don't want to scare you, but that's what happened in our case.

Keep on keeping on.