My son

[worriedfather]

hi folks, quick update for you, i had a letter from the pm david cameron, wrote to him about why i think this is all so badly handled. he sent my letter to the home office and the ministry of "justice"
Had a reply from the home office, they said that the goverment does not intend to go for anonymity for those accused of rape, i intend to write back and argue the case that the accused should be anonymous until convicted.
the only good news is that the govt intends to intoduce legislation restricting the retention of dna sample from those arrested. the samples from those arrested for minor offences will be disposed of immediately, those accused of a serious offence will be retained for 3 years and then disposed off unless the plod apply for a 2 year extension through the courts.

[RFLH]

That's a handy bit information to know worriedfather, thanks for posting it up.

[suzybe]

Oh so true.

I still feel that the children and I cannot cope with this anymore. My ex partner is facing a breakdown, and his behaviour is so frightening, it is destroying us, we need to support him, but it is proving too much, does anyone else have this problem?

[Rights Fighter]

Worried father - lot of people write to the PM, the Queen, Cherie Blair (because she's a barrister but not for criminal law so wouldn't be interested) and the responses are generally the same.

"I have passed the buck to another department......."

Suzybe - I am only down the road from you if you need to meet for a coffee or a glass of wine.....

However, remember what I said before - you and your family have to come first. The person you are trying to support does not help himself. If he cannot do that that then you cannot be expected to do it all for him.

[witsend]

Folks please bear in mind that if you write to your Chief Constable and state that you think your case falls into the category of "exceptional" (whatever the hell that means) you may be able to get the DNA destroyed. We were lucky, our sons case was NFA'd so I was on their backs within a few weeks, and all his biometric data has now been destroyed.
Suzib..... Have you and your partner been to the GP? sounds like you both need help especially for your childrens sake. This whole situation is AWFUL and the stress must seem unbearable at times. If you have some time on your own ring the samaritans, sometimes talking to somebody impartial is a help. All those feeling you keep bottled up can be expressed without anyone judging you. Just hope that this ordeal is over for you all soon.

[worriedfather]

i will now write back asking for more info, will the person be informed if plod go to court to extend by 2 years and what grounds will they need to have, i will also keep on their case about anonymity until conviction, i work on the principle that if i keep on at them then they will give in in the end. win by attrition! and it relieves the stress an focusses the depression.
eventually someone will take notice

[suzybe]

Worried father - lot of people write to the PM, the Queen, Cherie Blair (because she's a barrister but not for criminal law so wouldn't be interested) and the responses are generally the same.

"I have passed the buck to another department......."

Suzybe - I am only down the road from you if you need to meet for a coffee or a glass of wine.....

Thanks RF, I just feel at the end of my tether right now, his mental state is frightening, and the accusations get worse, I am being accused of conspiring left right and centre, but the change in personality is instant, and that is what is so frightening, that this situation can do this to somebody, and the effect it has on the (now seperated) family, there is only so much I can do, and so much abuse I can take. Yes, we should meet up for a drink, that would be good. I am off to the Steam Fair for a few days mid week, but next week should be good.x
However, remember what I said before - you and your family have to come first. The person you are trying to support does not help himself. If he cannot do that that then you cannot be expected to do it all for him.

Thanks RF, the instant personality changes are frightening, and the accusations get worse, I am being accused of conspiring left right and centre, that this situation can do this to somebody, and the effect it has on the (now seperated) family,is terrible, there is only so much I can do, and so much abuse I can take. Yes, we should meet up for a drink, that would be good. I am off to the Steam Fair for a few days mid week, but next week should be good.x

[Rights Fighter]

I may be away from the 6th to the 10th as a friend of mine has lung Cancer and is undergoing Chemo. If she is well enough next week I will go to see her but if not then I'll arrange a visit later on.

You need to think about yourself and your family too. If you fall apart then you'll be no good to anyone.

((((((HUGGLES))))))

[Saffron]

Wise words from RF as ever. Hang in there Suzy. Sending you hugs and happy thoughts. xx

[worriedfather]

Morning folks, month to go before my son is in court, i have him reading the statements and i have asked him to learn what he wrote down as i am sure the cps will try to twist what he said. The only bit that worries me is the Jury, they are the unknown factor, we have plenty of evidence on our side, but will they take any notice? all i can do is watch the barrister trash the accuser and the police and hope they listen to the expert witness.

[Casehardened]

As you say, the jury is the great unknown

I do believe that his 'youth' will be on his/your side; the jury will at least 'wake up' and take notice of him and, hopefully, his evidence.

It is good that he is preparing for the trial, positive unhesitant answers are good. Can I also suggest a bit of 'coaching' as to his demeanor: head up, confident but not arrogant manner, look at the jury when replying to questions, don't smile or laugh. Not the sort of thing that comes naturally to the average teenage lad, which is why it is important.

Very best wishes for the forthcoming ordeal.

[worriedfather]

Thanks Casehardened, i will talk to him about that, i am so worried, but cant let him know that, i could cheerfully kill the police and his accuser for the c**p that they have put us through. I would love to sit them down and explain the way i feel about them but i well aware that they would not have clue as they are "just doing their job" but i would not have a problem if they had done their job properly! Rant over !

[Saffron]

WorriedFather, you are not ranting, so don't worry.
CH has given you very good advice. Make sure he dresses smartly and has a shave, haircut, etc. If he thinks he is going to break down and cry, he shouldn't fight it - it will show the jury that he is a human being.
Keep us updated, you and your family will be in our thoughts.

[witsend]

Dear worried father. Just to let you know you and your family are in my thoughts, we all understand what an ordeal this has been for you all.

[0990]

my thoughts go to you and your son , i pray it all goes well for you