in shock

[devastatedmum]

Today my son was arrested for assault and raping his partner. This nightmare began on Sunday when I took my grandchild back to their house, they were arguing and my son was in tear. My daughter who was with me at the time put her arms around my son and his partner flew at her but my son got between them and came home with me as she was screaming at him to get out of the house. Yesterday she txt me to tell me that she had called the police after we had left the house on Sunday. My son couldnt understand why she had called the police as they had only had an argument, she had flown for him and he had restrained her and held her by the arms. This morning 4 policement turned up at the house and arrested my son for assault and rape, it transpires that he has alleged that he raped her 14 months ago ...my son denies this. She lived with me for 12 months as she had argued with her parents and I put up with her arguing and shouting at my son and tried not to intervene, she has hit him and split his lip and scratched him and he has never retaliated he is a gentle giant, I am now worried that he is going to be charged for something he hasnt done. They only have her word for the rape and obviously no evidence due to the 14 month delay in reporting it .... but my son is at his wits end, this could cost him his freedom.

[LS]

Hi devastatedmum, sorry to hear your son's situation, but there are many on here who've been in the same boat. Many have had it dropped after months, some not, but the important thing is to keep strong for him.
I'm sure the others will be along in the morning to offer help and advice, but at this point all I can say is welcome, you're not alone, and there are many here who can offer help, advice and comfort.
LS

[Casehardened]

Hi devastatedmum,

As this has all happened in the space of 24 hours you are still in a state of shock and this is perfectly natural.

Don't be too stressed about the arrest; regrettably the police are obliged to arrest and interview the accused whenever a rape allegation is made (no matter how far-fetched, provided there was an opportunity for it to have happened) It must have been worrying for four to turn up on the doorstep but if he is a 'giant' (albeit 'gentle') and one of the allegations was assault, this is understandable.

Taking the very very worst scenario, 12 people are going to be asked if they think this actually did happen and as a bystander the facts that jump out at me from your account are: she lived with you for 12 months because she argued with her parents; and she made the accusation 14 months after it was alleged to have happened during another huge argument with your son. To me this suggests that the accusation was perhaps another weapon in the arguments.

However it would be useful to know (from a point of giving real reassurance) if your son was also living with you during the 12 months i.e. were they living together as a couple under your roof, and did she allege the offence happen during this period of time? Also, was she over 16 on the date she alleged the offence happened?

[devastatedmum]

Yes they were living as a couple with me and she was 19 at the time and my son 20, the alleged rape happened after they got their own house together.

[Rights Fighter]

I review appeals against conviction (in sexual offences) and I can say that I have never come across one yet where the accuser has been an adult who alleges rape by her partner/ex parter from months before.

These are notoriously difficult to prosecute because obviously the first question defence counsel would ask the accuser is "why did you stay with this rapist for 14 months,presumably sharing his bed and having sex with him after he has viciously raped you?"

There is no answer unless it's under the cloud of "fear" - in which case the next question would be "you have alleged rape on one occasion - why did it take you 14 months to report it to the police, if, as you claim you were scared of him?"

Common sense dictates that if this was a reign of terror ( and this happens more frequently than imagined unfortunately) then she would be alleging more than one assault and more than one rape.

You have material witnesses to the last argument. She has none, doesn't she?

[devastatedmum]

no she has no witnesses to the last argument it was just me and my daughter. She is saying that he bullied her and that on sunday when the argument took place he physically assaulted her but she has no bruising other than on her arms where he restrained her when she went to hit him.

Can I just say thank you so much for taking the time to explain things.

[Rights Fighter]

You are still witnesses nevertheless. If this matter does go to trial you will need to make sure that you and your daughter give evidence.

If your lad is charged and you do not have experienced representation please PM me your whereabouts and I will see if I can find a recommended solicitor or one known to me in the area.

[devastatedmum]

Thanks so much, ......he was given bail last night so we havnt had time to source a solicitor yet and are not sure where to start to be honest.

[Rights Fighter]

Best not to tell the whole world where you are as you never know who is reading this forum which is why I suggested that your PM me (private message).

I do know of a really good solicitor in the surrounding area.

[devastatedmum]

pafaa

thanks for the link, just waiting for approval

[Rights Fighter]

All sorted - hope to see you there soon.

[RFLH]

ooo - have we got a new member?

[Rights Fighter]

Yep somebody who could use some private assistance.