desperately needing reassurance...

[LS]

I would very much doubt the cps is that efficient to tell her before you. I think it's just her continuing to spread rumours to keep her at the centre of attention and to keep putting you down.
Ignore her. Only regard info from the police or cps to be relevant and don't let her get to you.

[Rights Fighter]

How would she know? That is wishful thinking on her part I think.

If you were going to be charged plod would have been around by now to whisk you off to plod shop.

I don't know what suicide risk register you are on but assume that you are subject to crisis team visits? You need to keep in touch with your mental health support team as and when you need to.

If you top yourself now the headlines will read "rapist couldn't face his guilt so he killed himself". Your accusing liar would have won.

And please look to those who would be devastated if you did succeed in doing that. They would blame themselves thinking that there was something they could/should have done.

Keep coming here and sound off as much as you like.

[new hope]

Dont listen to gossip, you will drive yourself crazy, thats what she wants stay strong earlier posts are true the cps would have been in touch with you by now if that was the case!

[rockbottom]

i have spoken to a PC in the office of the OIC of the investigation, she checked the file and there are no updates of any significance so it doesnt appear to even be with the CPS as of yet. Apparently she has recieved her mobile phone back as well, both of ours were seized at the time of the allegation, is this a good sign?
I am in the army, which is why i tried to hold out on seeking medical help as i was worried what implications this might have on my career. I am not being guarded as such, just my hierarchy are being informed that i am a potential suicide risk so they are aware and can keep an eye on me. We have a very good mental health team here and i have been recieving counselling from a psychiatric nurse which has been helpful, and as they are on camp i can be seen at any time i feel desparate.
He accepts that right now answering my bail is the only thing dominating my mind, but even if this rightly does not go to charge, its going to be a long road yet and i have many issues to address, namely what this relationship has done to me emotionally, the covert aggression i have been subjected to and how my own emotions have been expertly used as a tool to manipulate me.

[Saffron]

The spreading of rumours and false information is a classic thing done by false accusers to make their story seem more credible. Ignore it. If a decision had been made to charge you, you would already know about it. Take a deep breath and try to see this for what it is...further lies, which, if properly documented, will only benefit your case.

Ask your sister who gave her this information. It is important that this is documented, and the person who passed the information on should be interviewed by your sol. Nowadays there are quite strict rules about what can be admissible at court (if it gets that far). "Heresay" (ie: "so and so told me that whatshername said....") is usually regarded fairly dimly by a judge, but if there is enough of it, ie: persistent, consistently provable lies by the accuser, then your barrister may be able to make legal argument for it to be included in the defence evidence.

Don't even think about topping yourself. Your family would be devastated and your accuser would have won. RF is right about the headlines. And your accuser would no doubt "bravely waive her right to anonymity" to state that she is devastated that she never got to see "justice" done. Hang in there. We are all here for you. Chin up matey.

[RFLH]

besides which it'd probably add another few thousand to her compensation claim.

[whatdidieverdo]

Ive just read what you've been going through and it seems your ex and my ex have fallen from the same tree. Im an ex PARA, been out almoth 6 years now so understand you worries about your career but the army should be fairly understanding of your situation, they would be on dodgy ground if they didnt take the very PC approach. I dont know what stage yor at but know only to well the feeling of your world falling out your arse when the police say the word rape. I was remanded for 4 months and refused bail a total of 3 time due to her claiming i would harrass and intimidate her. She even went as far as saying i had threatened to kill my daughter!! Im on bail now, lost my house, suspended from work and unable to start my dream job due to the allegation, i hope will all fall into place when she is proven to be a liar. I have been charged and am now awaiting trial, im ****ting myself, ive lost almost 2 stone, started smoking and cant sleep. This girl has destroyed me, ive only known her for 2 years and ive had more involvment with the police in that time than the whole of my life. Keep your chin up and try to remain positive, its advice that im given every day and find the words quite annoying, but right now its all we have.

[whatdidieverdo]

Ive just read what you've been going through and it seems your ex and my ex have fallen from the same tree. Im an ex PARA, been out almost 6 years now so understand your worries about your career but the army should be fairly understanding of your situation, they would be on dodgy ground if they didnt take the very PC approach. I dont know what stage yor at but know only to well the feeling of your world falling out your arse when the police say the word rape. I was remanded for 4 months and refused bail a total of 3 time due to her claiming i would harrass and intimidate her. She even went as far as saying i had threatened to kill my daughter!! Im on bail now, lost my house, suspended from work and unable to start my dream job due to the allegation, i hope all will fall into place when she is proven to be a liar. I have been charged and am now awaiting trial, im ****ting myself, ive lost almost 2 stone, started smoking and cant sleep. This girl has destroyed me, ive only known her for 2 years and ive had more involvment with the police in that time than the whole of my life. Keep your chin up and try to remain positive, its advice that im given every day and find the words quite annoying, but right now its all we have.

[rockbottom]

Well its been six weeks now and i am answering my bail tomorrow, as far as i am aware the case is not even reached the cps as of yet and i am likely to be questioned again tomorrow, im trying to take this as a good sign?

[LS]

Six weeks on bail seems to be very little,compared to how long most seem to drag on for. Try not to focus on it, but every day is a day less.

[whatdidieverdo]

Good luck with bail.

[rockbottom]

well as i expected i was interviewed and bailed again.
after initial disclosure my solicitor told me 'it gets worse'. shes now claimed 2 rapes last year, nothing specific, not even a timeframe just 2009. one in her parents house with everyone else and the other in my room on barracks. why she stayed with me for several months after and insisted on me moving in with her is a complete mystery then.
as if this wasnt enough her friends are colluding and have fabricated a night where they have walked in on me having sex with my sleeping girlfriend, which i had to concede to the police was quite impressive as i was a) also asleep and b) fully clothed and as we d been sleeping for nearly an hour its been quite a long time since i had sex for that long.
i really dont know what to do now, i thought just being open and honest about my own faults and wrongdoings would be enough, and to let the investigation run its course and the facts speak for themselves, but i am now fighting a gang of liars to whom destroying my life has become an evil game.

[LS]

Don't know what to suggest RB, but the fact she's "claimed" two rapes in the last year kind of speaks for itself. She's either the unluckiest person in the area to have been "raped" three times now, or the evidence will speak for itself, as you say.
Liars will trip themselves up, mark my words. Her friends will collude, and will trip themselves up; ideally to the police.
Live in hope.

[Casehardened]

This is almost par for the course, false allegators(?), when they feel that their case is becoming dead in the water, will come up with 'fresh' details and events to get the pot boiling again.

The police/cps have seen this all before and will hopefully have marked her book.

As LS so rightly says, if somebody sticks to telling the truth, they can't be tripped up subsequently (& vice versa)

[friday]

just to add that once a person has been raped once they are more likely to be raped again. we have had this discussion on here in another thread. whether it is because a rapist can tell they are vulnerable, i don't know but it is certainly true. not saying she is telling the truth, just that there are a lot of women who are extremely "unlucky".