desperately needing reassurance...

[LS]

Sorry Friday, probably wrong for me to assume, not meaning to take away anything from genuine victims. I read it in the way that a false accuser, having tried it once, and gotten away with it, may well do it a number of times.

[rockbottom]

Well whats confusing me is why my ex didnt mention these two previous 'rapes' in her initial statement and has chosen to add them later? oh hang on, maybe to try and add some weight to what was obviously a very flimsy and pretty unsubstantiated original allegation.
im also confused as to why she would choose to stay with someone who did these horrible things, a boyfriend she only saw at weekends when he visited, and she had every opportunity to easily end the relationship. why would she continue the relationship, beg him to buy her dream 1 carat diamond engagement ring constantly, and then months later demand he moves into a home with her?
what would also be helpful would be a timeframe for these two previous 'assaults, not just 2009, just the 365 days to pick from then, when she has recounted quite vivid details of these incidents but cant even narrow it down to even a month. quite inconvenient, as if she did narrow it down to a specific month or period, it would be interesting to know if a quick flick through last years year planner would reveal that at that time i was actually 200 miles away in a shellscrape on salisbury plain, or on a course in the north of england, so puzzling?

[rockbottom]

oh hang on, its just dawned on me...its bull****!!!

[rockbottom]

My bail has again been extended, this time only until the end of this month as the case is now with a specialist lawyer through which it goes to the cps.
My mother has spoken to the OIC at length and although its hard to tell what they are thinking and im trying not to get carried away it does sound positive and im hoping this whole thing is starting to be seen for what it is, just a vicious spiteful campaign.
I am not so depressed anymore just the stress and anxiety, which has increased knowing i only have a short time to wait to find out if this is to proceed or i can have my life back, the OIC has promised to call my mother and let her know when a decision has been made and whether or not my bail still stands.
What worries me is that although there is a lack of physical evidence except evidence we had sex, of course we did we lived together in a relationship, the collusion of her family and friends might give the cps reason to believe they can get a prosecution. it doesnt seem fair that my life hangs in the balance over some carefully discussed and prepared statements by a group of people all with a vested interest in protecting my alleger. How seriously do the CPS take these statements, will they see it as enough?

[Constant]

My feeling is - that plod doesn't or couldn't care less about anything - its really all about getting enough evidence to get to court and a good/strong chance of a conviction - if you are NFA'd you will never know what they found or not unless you follow up and most of us want to forget what happened not keep picking at it - the CPS make the decision - if its obvious that they have no evidence plod will point this out to CPS - but still its your word against hers or the accuser - evidence - forensic or otherwise doesn't matter if the accuser is reasonable and has some credability and the CPS reckon on a 50/50 chance your going to court - because that whats the previous administration advocated. **** I know but this has all been borne out by my own experience and that of others on this site. If she admits shes lying she faces prosecution - and from what you write that seems unlikely therefore you must pray for a NFA. However they have not extended you bail by far so it does sound positive. Good Luck

[rockbottom]

The OIC called my mum yesterday to say my bail had been extended yet again as the CPS were unable to make a decision. A couple of hours later my mum called me again to say that the CPS had made a decision so i could still come in on monday or stick to the extended date. As the OIC was on leave she does not know what the decision is, so now i have to go in a position where i dont know whether im to be charged with a minor common assault or the potential life destroyer. When my mum said to the DC 'lets hope its just a common assault' even she replied ' lets hope so'.
i feel sick to the pit of my stomach with worry and im not sure im strong enough to face another several months of this. all i want is my life back, ive had four months of this now, of not being able to visit my family and have become a virtual non entity at work, i have been taken off the upcoming afghanistan deployment too which will result in a loss of earnings of around seven and a half thousand pounds. can t believe this girl has destroyed my life in so many ways with a few vicious words.

[RFLH]

I'm sorry to read that you're still in limbo rockbottom.

There's nothing I can say but hope you sta pyositive and keep on keeping on.

[witsend]

Dear rockbottom. As others have said, sorry you are in limbo. Please try to stay strong, Easy to say, but we have all found ourselves in similar situations. In many cases it does seem to be a few words that cause all the damage. please let us know how things go.

[Rights Fighter]

................and have become a virtual non entity at work, i have been taken off the upcoming afghanistan deployment too which will result in a loss of earnings of around seven and a half thousand pounds. can t believe this girl has destroyed my life in so many ways with a few vicious words.

This proves my point on another thread that being in the forces due to be deployed to Afghanistan will not make one iota of difference as to how these cases are treated.

Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do at the moment. If the correct result is reached at the end of this nightmare then you might have a case for IPCC.

[rockbottom]

well things could have gone a lot better. i have been charged with all sorts, including an assault on a day in which i have no idea what im supposed to have done and not been arrested for beforehand it has just materialised on a charge sheet.
further to this, my initial shock and distress at these obscene charges prompted the custody sgt to refuse me bail for my own safety and i had to spend another night in a cell before a bail hearing in the morning. fortunately as i have already been on bail for months with no breaches and have been extremely cooperative with the police throughout this wasnt too much of an issue so now i am back at home aiming off for a trial before the end of the year. as harrowing as it is im still trying to remain confident and still have faith as i have been truthful and honest since the onset of this investigation and will continue to be and this should show in court, while there is a mounting pile of information to further discredit and expose my accuser.

[RFLH]

I'm sorry to read this - but its not unusual for them to keep adding charges.

Keep posting, it will help.

[Saffron]

Sorry to hear about the charges.
You need to get your boxing gloves on now. Now you can start prompting your sol to do things. Write lists of all the messages you remember her sending, take screen shots of her social networking sites, talk to your friends who know her and ask if they have heard anything.

Chin up. There is a long way to go between now and a trial.

[rockbottom]

well the trial has been underway all this week and now adjourned till late next week.
theres been ups and downs, good points being that the prosecution witnesses contradicted eachother on some pretty critical information and in fact one of them came through for me and actually remembered his integrity.
other than that i have had to endure my 'victims' nearest and dearest paraded out to recite obviously well rehearsed drivel about seeing signs of abuse and my 'victims' character changing since the start of the relationship, full of tired cliche, basically everything they've ever seen on the television.
while my barrister treated these 'witnesses' with courtesy and respect, which is a lot more than they deserved, i was subjected to two hours of aggressive, bullying tactics from the prosecutor, probably the most contemptible human being i have ever come across. with no holes in my account to pull at she resorted to a transparent attempt to just provoke some kind of angry reaction from me, coupled with clever word play in which she attempted to change the context of my answers and quicky put them back to me trying to trick me into agreeing with her. i left the court feeling sorry for any men who have faced her who dont have a good enough grasp of the english language to defend themselves as she must run rings around them.
im trying to be confident as i have always known the cps have to prove these things beyond reasonable doubt, pretty difficult as they never happened, and if the 'burden of proof' rule is adhered to by the jury, i should, hopefully, be ok.

[Casehardened]

while my barrister treated these 'witnesses' with courtesy and respect, which is a lot more than they deserved, i was subjected to two hours of aggressive, bullying tactics from the prosecutor,

Your barrister was wise to treat the witnesses kindly as to browbeat them might incurr a 'sympathy' vote from the jury, by the same token if the prosecuter was manifestly unfair to you, this may help you.

Very best wishes for next week and praying for a sensible jury decision.

[largactyl1]

Hi, I really hope your nightmare will be over soon. Very best of luck

Kind regards,
Jen