Worried Girlfriend

[LS]

Unfortunately juries do seem to be swayed more by emotion than on the facts. I saw this for myself when a juror in his early 20s looked at me like I was something he'd trodden in.
Oh yeah, he really convinced me he wasn't going to let emotions influence his decision.
Even if the barrister (like mine, female) goes as gently as possible, it's the liars who always cry regardless. Again, unfortunately some of the buffoons who seem to be on juries these days can't seem to see beyond the crocodile tears.
It's a lottery, nothing whatsoever to do with truth or justice.
You need to be a D-list celeb's ex, or a teacher; then you can do anything, so it would seem.

[Ann]

I haven't written on this site for a while although I check it out from time to time. It breaks my heart to read how many people have to go through the same trauma I went through .
My husband was aquitted after a five day trial. Some things that may be useful for you:

1 Be there in court and be strong. It is horrible but you have to do it and I really think it makes a difference. I did shake my head quite a lot during 'her ' ridiculous testimony and got told off by the judge. So I then just stayed strong and looked at the jury a lot and really tried to communicate how much I believed my husband. I never broke down in the court room ( the one time I really broke down outside was when the 2 CPS and main police officer osentatiously congratulated the prosecuting barrister on her horrible cross examination of my husband - I later complained about this and my letters - which included lots of other complaints - eventually went right through to the DPP but of course they just denied they did this and I was accused of lying!)
2 Expect the worst - the police /cps are not interested in the truth they just want a conviction and don't care about anything else - not even the mental state of the accuser. In our case they had evidence of the accusers previous employment history indicating incredible claims she had made against colleagues. We had people queuing up to testify against her. It was only due to some incredible legal work by our barrister that a tiny part of this evidence was eventually allowed to be used in court and really made a difference.
3 This leads to something you probably can't do anything about now - but ensure you have the best solicitor/ barrister possible.If the worst happens and you go to appeal - then get the best legal help you can-it really can help
4 My elderly parents still don't know what we went through for 11 months (2 years ago now) I know I was right not to tell them and was lucky I did not have to as my husband was aquitted and they do not live near us. Amazingly the trail never made it into the local paper. If I had told them then the circumstances of the accusatuion would have altered their relatonship with my husband for ever regardles of the court case -as it is his relationship with them is very good now - in fact he is a much better husband because of the ordeal beleive it or not. If he had been sent to prison I would then have told them . I suggest you write a letter to them now that you can show them if the worst happens that gives all the reasons why you believe your boyfriend - and tell them that this site shows just how many people have to go through what you are having to go through.
5 You are not alone - too many are having to go this experience
now.These false accuseres are actually making things much musch worse for genuine rape victims . But do tell somebody - and you really need somebody with you in court .I had an amazing friend who was with me every day and helped so much. I chose very carefuly who I told and was reallly amazed and humbled by the incredible support I had from people. Basically they believed my husband because I believed him.
6 Don't be ashamed to get medical help - my GP was amazing and I luckily got off all the medication (including sleeping tablets/ anti -depressants and beta blockers -Propanalol - a wonder drug in my view - I once had a panic attack that lasted over 12 hours which this stopped) fairly quickly after the trial. Friends/ medication and, amazingly, work was what got me through the worst year of my life
I hope that you get through the trial and that justice prevails. Will be thinking of you

[RFLH]

Thank you for posting Ann, it really does help others to know that people survive and come back to offer advice.

[Saffron]

Thank you for posting Ann, and also for giving such great advice. I am absolutely delighted that your husband was acquitted - well done for digging up the evidence from others! and I am so happy that your and your husband's lives have turned a corner.

Saffron

[Flower]

Hi every1 just wanted 2 thank u all 4 d advice support and stories. I hav,nt had d energy 2 reply. Case is stil on. I dnt no if its going wel r not, im not realy coping. Cnt find words 2 explain d events of d past week so im not goin 2 try. We wil never get over d pain of dis, bearly reconize myself im just a shell of a person. Boyfriend hanging in there, very proud of him, but realy cnt tell wat wil happen. Not only in d court care but in our relationship. I want 2 find d exit 2 dis whole mess, i cnt cope

[RFLH]

take a few deep breaths and relax. Have a bath, go for a walk, do anything but think about it.

Just hang in there, be proud of yourselves, you're doing well. It's hard, but you will cope, shout and rant here if it'll help.

If you don't want to do it publicly - contact one of us mods.

Be strong.

[Saffron]

Hang in there Flower. You are going through one of the worst possible things, and although it might not feel like it, you are doing great.
I know it feels like you will never get over it, but you can. I did, and I have never thought of myself as a "strong" person. So if I can get through it, I know you can.

We are all here and thinking of you.

Saffron

[Saffron]

Flower

What happened? I hope you are OK. Come back when you are ready. I will PM you too.

Saffron x